Quantcast
RELATED

As women approach milestone birthdays, the prospect of change can make you cringe. Yet, for The Real Housewives of Potomac star Dr. Wendy Osefo—professor, entrepreneur, investor, media personality, and mom—turning 40 became a liberating opportunity to redefine and rebrand herself.

In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, she shared 5 invaluable lessons on embracing pivots with courage, gratitude, and confidence, offering a step-by-step strategy for other women seeking to navigate life’s transitions fearlessly.


Lesson 1: Your Glow Up Starts With Gratitude

For Dr. Wendy, her 40s signify a season of gratitude—a conscious choice to pause, reflect, and celebrate her accomplishments. “When you chase the next thing, you forget to appreciate what you’ve already accomplished,” she explained. “I’m in a season of being still and grateful

This shift isn’t just a mood; it’s a mindset. Gratitude is more than just saying "thank you"—it’s the practice of recognizing how far you’ve come and using that energy to fuel your next steps. Instead of running on empty, you pivot from a place of fullness and confidence, ready to create even more magic.

Lesson 2: Fear and Success Can’t Coexist

One of the standout moments in Dr. Wendy’s interview was her declaration that fear and success cannot exist in the same space. “Where one exists, the other naturally dies,” she said.

By stepping away from academia, Wendy exemplifies the power of trusting the unknown, taking calculated risks, and betting on yourself. Her decision wasn’t rooted in failure or dissatisfaction but in recognizing that her purpose was pulling her in a different direction.

Her own journey reflects this truth as she transitions from a successful academic career to new entrepreneurial ventures, including her luxury home goods line, Oni Home Essentials, and the release of her book, Tears of My Mother. One thing that she’s especially proud of is the social impact she’s able to provide in the Black community through her latest venture, Happy Eddie, whose social equity programming aims to eliminate systematic barriers to people of color in the multibillion-dollar legal cannabis industry.

"If something no longer serves you, then you should no longer serve it."

Lesson 3: Knowing When to Let Go

One of the most challenging parts of pivoting is determining when to release something that no longer serves you. Dr. Wendy’s filtering system is simple yet profound: “If it doesn’t serve you, then you should no longer serve it.”

For years, she balanced multiple roles: professor, commentator, wife, mom, and entrepreneur. But over time, she realized that her academic role, while fulfilling in the past, no longer aligned with her priorities. Letting go of this title wasn’t easy, but it allowed her to channel energy into projects that reflect her current passions and values, outside of education.

This lesson is especially relevant for Black women, who often carry the burden of being everything to everyone. Wendy’s story reminds us that prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s essential for sustained growth and happiness.

“It feels liberating not to care about others’ expectations.”

Lesson 4: The Liberation of Turning 40

There’s a unique freedom that comes with entering your 40s, and Wendy articulated it beautifully. “At 40, I’ve stopped second-guessing myself,” she said. “It feels liberating not to care about others’ expectations.”

For Wendy, this milestone marked the end of her people-pleasing era—a habit ingrained during her upbringing in a Nigerian household. She reflected on how her decisions were once guided by the need for external validation, but at 40, she’s unapologetically prioritizing her own needs and desires.

This liberation isn’t exclusive to age; it’s a mindset shift available to anyone ready to shed the weight of others’ opinions. Wendy’s story encourages us to embrace the confidence to stand firm in our choices, regardless of societal pressures.

Lesson 5: Embracing Fresh Starts

Describing her 40s as a new chapter, Wendy compared it to a book filled with blank pages, waiting to be written. “The beauty of it is fresh pages, nothing written, no expectations—it’s for you and you alone,” she shared.

Whether you’re switching lanes in your career, leveling up personally, or ready to pivot away from it all, Wendy’s story is the perfect reminder that every phase of life is a blank page. It’s not just about starting over—it’s about owning your power to write your own story.

Watch this interview below with Dr. Wendy and to hear how she was able to find her new path by fearlessly pivoting:

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Feature image by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Glamour

 

RELATED

 
ALSO ON XONECOLE
40 Micro-Actions To Take Today To Close Out 2024 Big

We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.

KEEP READINGShow less
Everything You Need To Know About Embodying Black Cat Energy In Relationships

Black cat energy is all the hype right now. It’s heralded as a key to a thriving love life that centers you as the prize, particularly to the golden retriever type of lover.

If you consider yourself mysterious, smart, playful, and highly selective of who you give your affection to, then you’re already exuding what TikTokers have coined as “black cat energy.” Or maybe you’re struggling with the mindboggling loop of dating the wrong lovers that make you feel like you’re chasing after them, and you want to learn how to flip the roles to make bae obsessed with you.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS