Yara Shahidi has officially entered her selfish era. The 22-year-old is known for her beyond-her-years wisdom, her passion for activism and human rights, her stunning beauty, and her unapologetically radiating main character energy both on-screen and off. She divides her time between acting, producing projects that move through her production company 7th Sun Productions, and spending time with her close-knit family. And as a recent grad from her dream school, Harvard University, Yara is coming even more into herself as she enters 2023 with the decision to take the focus off of dating and put that energy on herself.
From the outside looking in, Yara has always been in her "me" season, but the actress shared that this was uncharted territory for her, at least as of late. The Grown-ishstar recently stopped by The Drew Barrymore Show where she revealed that yes, she is single and that she doesn't know if she is looking to start dating anytime soon. And here's why.
"I like meeting people. And then the other thing is, I just got out of a relationship," she tells Drew before laughing. "So, I'm just kind of, you know, I'm a big commitment person. It was three years, so I don't even know what to do with myself. I'm just taking some 'me' time. My friends and I are calling it 'selfish season.'"
My first thought was, Yara? In a relationship? Since when? But as the actress is notoriously private, it should have come as no surprise that she was in a relationship, let alone one for three years that seemed to fly underneath the celeb news radar. And although she is taking a break from dating for the foreseeable future, she did touch on her hopeless romantic belief of love at first sight. Something she credits her parents Afshin and Keri Shahidi for inspiring.
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"I have to give full credit to my parents because they have the best story. And I remember hearing this growing up, and in Minnesota, my mother's out with some of her friends, my father's out with some of their friends, and she turns the corner and goes, 'Oh my God, that's my husband.' Says it out loud and catches herself. They've never met before, like have not spoken. She does not know who he is. Ends up later that night not talking, but getting a picture of him. Like a proper photo of him. And then friends would come over and look through the phone book to see if they could figure out who this was. And finally, finally, I'll fast-forward through some of the details, but when they get in touch, you know, he actually lists everything she had on that night."
She went on to describe her father recalling everything her mother wore the night they met but never spoke as if it was a vivid picture of her in his head. Yara ended the story by sharing, "There's something about that meet-cute where they both noticed each other and did not speak."
Inspired by the stories of Yara's parents' meet-cute, Drew later asked whether or not she believes that people will go to great lengths to find each other.
"I hope it's true. I'm in my mid-twenties. I'm hoping that that's how it works."
Yara Shahidi's "Selfish Season" & Why She's Taking a Break from Dating | The Drew Barrymore Show
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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