Yara Shahidi Gets Real About Her Love Life & Her Decision To Take A Gap Year
If you thought it was difficult to get that work/life/love balance on lock navigating through adulting as a twenty- or thirty-something, imagine what life is like for someone like Yara Shahidi. The 17-year-old not only slayed her role on Black-ish (and secured the bag with her own spin-off, Grown-ish), but also consistently speaks out about feminism, black representation in the media, and other worldly matters. She's woke, she's confident, and she's self-assured AF. And as we all know (some of us all too well), a sense of self-assuredness is enough to make any potential bae intimidated.
As dope as Yara is, I know I'm not the only one who wonders - does homegirl date? And if she does, what kind of guy would catch her eye? Would he have the charisma and undeniable charm of British transplant John Boyega or would he have the edge of a Chris Brown?
I'm picturing a mysterious wunderkind who's a hybrid of Barack Obama but with a successful rap career and royal lineage. Last-minute date nights in Paris and a text-back game we can't even imagine - this guy would have to come with his strongest game to impress our favorite little sis. No time for loose raps.
In this case, we may never know Yara's type - or at least, not for some time. In her latest interview with Seventeen, the Harvard-bound actress made it clear she isn't even thinking about these boys right now:
“I haven't dated anybody. My general outlook is if I don't have time to take a bath on a regular basis, then I don't have time for another human. I love being busy, and I enjoy where I am at right now."
Um, say what? To be so young, she has a good grasp of something some women twice her age are still trying to figure out. If you don't have room in your life for the basics of self-care, what could you possibly offer to someone in a relationship? Okay Yara, spit knowledge!
Yara also gave us some insight on where she cultivated her sense of self-assuredness. The work lies in owning and honoring yourself. For her, that means embracing the things that remind her of where she comes from and why she deserves to take up space.
"I feel like my curls have always been a part of who I am. They are a very real representation of the mix of my two cultures. When you're a part of a minority of any kind, you're told not to take up much space, but my hair does that, so there's nothing I can do except take up space with it. It gives me confidence."
The recent high school grad doesn't give the future too much power over how she lives her life in the present. The Grown-ish actress is in no rush to grow up, which could explain her commitment to remaining focused on building a full life that she loves - sans a man.
“I'm enjoying time as a kid—I've learned to appreciate the age that you are, because it disappears. There are perks to being a teen too. It comes with the freedom to explore and the freedom to have a valid opinion about the world—and to evolve it—and have people listen to you."
The unapologetic activist also shared her love for history and how that passion ultimately led to her path to activism.
“I love history, and activism is so engraved in history. So much had to have happened for me—and everybody—to come into this world. The women's movement, the immigration movement…whatever it may be. As you learn about these, it's hard not to be inspired. Our generation is a representation of all the great movements that have come before us. It's all about paying it forward… What I'm seeing is basically a movement to be your true self. There are no criteria as to what it takes to be involved, protected and cared for."
The teenage phenom and her ever-evolving list of projects and responsibilities is proof that while the iron is hot, the grind doesn't stop. And that goes double for her personal life these days. Although her acceptance to Harvard was an amazing accomplishment, Yara has been vocal about her decision to take a gap year, following in the footsteps of Malia Obama, who also took a gap year before starting at Harvard this fall. Yara's reasons?
Instead of working and juggling school like she has for most of her career, she just wants to focus on other interests outside of the classroom. So, she'll be hard at work on Grown-ish and her charity work with low-income youth. In a recent Instagram post, she said:
"I'm taking a gap year to dig deeper into all the things that bring me joy before I dive into my double concentration at college."
One thing is certainly for sure – Yara's been killing it, and she's reminding us exactly why. Staying in your lane and taking care of number one is the best way to live no matter what age you are. Who runs the world? Yup, still girls.
Check out Yara's interview with Seventeen in full here.
Featured image via Ga Fullner / Shutterstock.com
'Bel-Air' Actress Jazlyn Martin On Her Ongoing Identity Crisis And Its Influence On Her Creative Journey
Jazlyn Martin is a triple-threat performer known most for her role as Jackie on Peacock’sBel-Air. Her character’s fiery personality and questionable decisions have led to a few shocking moments in the series and quite a bit of convo on social media.
Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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Sometimes, relocation for a fresh start is the right move, especially when it comes to your career. Whether it's due to a pay raise, a promotion, better schools for your children, or a career change, moving for a job might be the best option. But there are times when relocating for a new job opportunity is simply a big mistake.
Many have decided against doing so, and in fact, during the first three months of last year, the rate of Americans moving for work fell to a record low of just 1.6%, according to executive outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas.
Here are a few good reasons or scenarios where moving for a new job is just not a good idea:
1. You just bought a house and you're stuck in a mortgage.
Black women and millennials have been found to be "leaders" in homeownership in recent years, with homeownership among Black women seeing an average year-over-year growth rate of 10.4% between October 2018 and September 2021. As many as 800,000 fewer moves occurred last year, The New York Times reports, which is “a direct result of what economists call the ‘rate lock effect’ or the ‘golden handcuffs.'"
Families have postponed moving to larger homes, and households “hoping to trade up” have paused plans. And a lot of people have been “sitting on the sidelines, waiting and watching.”
If you're among those who have recently bought a home, it might be a better idea to simply find new work within your community or a neighboring community versus uprooting your family (and waiting on a very tricky real estate market for your home to sell). Another idea: Get a remote job.
On the other hand, if you're okay with renting your home out short-term via Airbnb or even long-term as an investment property while you solidify your new spot, and the new company is willing to cover your moving expenses, consider the relocation. There are several risks with this, but it's something to think about if you're a homeowner who's dead set on getting a fresh career start elsewhere.
2. Your expected quality of life and pay might shift in a way that's just not worth it, especially for an international move.
There's always a lot of banter about "elevating" your quality of life by working abroad, but there are several things to consider before doing that, especially when it comes to pay.
A Harvard Business Review survey found that MBA graduates, for example, who had moved internationally “once or twice after their MBAs” saw their pay increase less than graduates who stayed in the U.S. Researchers further stated that the findings “challenge the notion that broader international experience will automatically be rewarded with higher compensation.”
Also, a move abroad can mean giving up major things you care about to gain other things. Does working near a beach involve higher prices for everyday groceries you're accustomed to? What about easy access to Wifi, electricity, and water?
Will you be paying more compensation for infrastructure issues than you would if you've remained in the U.S.? What does a good quality of life really look like for you outside of work? What amenities and freedoms do you value, and how much do those things cost in comparison to what you're used to paying for them? If all of this will cost more than what it's worth, a move abroad to work might not be a good fit for you.
3. You work remote, so your location is already flexible.
If you're already working a good remote job, why relocate for a new gig? Experts say that remote jobs are “still plentiful for white-collar workers,” and if you're among those professionals, you already have a bit of a leg up when it comes to flexibility anyway. You can basically find another position, working fully remote, and you won't be locked into one location.
If you're looking for a more traditional way of working, where you're in an office, face-to-face with teammates, and going to happy hour after you clock out, moving for a new gig after remote work burnout sounds like a good idea. But if your issues are due to your remote job not paying enough or the type of remote work you're doing, it's a better idea to simply look for remote work at a different company, apply for different roles, or go freelance to allow yourself more creative authority.
4. The new company offers no financial assistance to move.
If 64% of professionals reported receiving compensation to move last year, trust me, there are companies that will cover some if not all of your expenses. Remember you're uprooting your life and that of your family members, so getting those expenses covered is a must. If you're already struggling financially (or a major move to another city, state, or country for work will cut into a huge chunk of your savings), reconsider a move if the company won't offer at least reimbursement for your moving fees.
Also, oftentimes, companies that don't offer such perks also skimp on prioritizing work-life balance, competitive healthcare benefits, and other basic amenities that should be afforded to quality talent such as yourself. Take the warning and look elsewhere.
Relocating for work can be a great experience and the best decision of your life, but if there are major red flags that are either telling you to stay where you are or, at the very least, postpone a move until your circumstances allow for it, it's best to take heed.
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