Tika Sumpter Talks IVF, Raising A Biracial Daughter & Life Lessons As A Mom
It's a bit surreal to think that some of our favorite celebrities, who we've grown up admiring, are now parents with families of their own. It's a stark reminder that time passes for everyone, even those we often perceive as larger than life. We're all aging, evolving, and entering new phases of life.
But more than just a reminder of our own mortality, it's incredibly inspiring to witness these Black women navigate motherhood and create new lives. They're redefining what it means to be a parent, challenging societal norms, and setting powerful examples for future generations.
Their approach to parenting often reflects a deep commitment to their cultural heritage, a celebration of Black identity, and a fierce dedication to raising empowered and socially conscious children. It's a beautiful sight to behold and a source of immense hope for the future.
I find myself looking to these women as role models, not just in terms of their professional achievements, but also in their roles as mothers. They inspire me to think about the kind of parent I want to be, the values I want to instill in my own children, and the legacy I want to leave behind.
Take Tika Sumpter. She’s been a part of our lives for quite some time, and now she’s serving up hot mom vibes. Her mother went from a stay-at-home role to becoming a corrections officer at Rikers Island. Faced with a challenging situation, she rose to the occasion and persevered. Now, Tika is charting her own path as a mom.
In a recent interview with PARENTS, she said, “I thought I would be a tough parent because of my mom but I’m not. I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower.”
ForPARENTS’ "Take Five" series, editor-in-chief Grace Bastidas interviews notable names about parenthood and this iteration highlights Tika’s parenting style, insights into her relationship with her 8-year-old daughter, Ella, highlighting the importance of emotional learning, balancing work and motherhood, and navigating conversations about race and identity.
The Nobody’s Fool star also talks about homeschooling, her children’s podcast, and self-care practices, while reflecting on lessons learned from her own mother.
Tika’s IVF Journey:
“I did want a second child and tried IVF once. I know they say you should do it multiple times, but I didn’t have the energy for it. While having another baby didn’t work out for me, I pray that it works out for other people. The threads of motherhood are so interconnected that we sometimes forget that everybody is just trying to figure it out and live their best lives. I am you and you are me.”
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fertility treatments, including assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedures such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), allow those who experience infertility a potential path to expand their families. IVF represents more than 99% of ART procedures performed and is an important fertility treatment option because it can help individuals conceive who may not be able to use other fertility treatment methods.
On Raising Her Biracial Daughter
Tika and her husband, Nicholas James, have always been intentional about discussing race with their daughter. One of their ventures as new parents included creating a children's podcast Adventures of Curiosity Cove to help garner Ella's curiosity and fill her up with important information about her culture and the world.
Tika shared with PARENTS, “She knows we have different skin tones and that she’s mixed race. I don’t think it’s fair to put any of my stuff on her since our experiences will vary. Right now, we’re homeschooling her. We’ll talk about Martin Luther King, the Civil Rights era, and the March on Washington. She loves history and has so many questions.”
The mommy mogul went on to say, “She was in a private school before, but the bullying pushed me over the edge. I also felt like she was getting lost. She didn’t understand certain concepts. My husband and I follow a whole curriculum, and she also goes to a co-op. She’s already light years ahead. For me, it’s about giving her more catered time and flexibility.”
Lessons From Her Mom
Seeing her mom work so hard made Tika want to be a better daughter. “I’m the middle child out of seven kids, two of whom were adopted, the actress said. She continued, “I remember always wanting to keep the house clean for her because she came home exhausted. I was like, 'What can I do to make this better?' I used to work at a movie theater as a teen when my mom was retiring, and I’d have her come to the movies and stay all day. I would give her popcorn and candy. I was so happy that she got relief watching movies for free. It was a little escape.”
Tika’s mom tried her best to keep her kids in line, which led Tika to believe she would inherit the same “tough parent” genes, but she declares she has not. “I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower,” Tika said.
What She’s Learned From Her Daughter
When Tika Sumpter gets a little hyper, her daughter will put her hand on her heart and say, “Mom, breathe.” She’ll do it in such a soulful way — she’s the only woman who can tell Sumpter to relax in a way that is not condescending. Tika shared, “I tell her all the time that she’s so much better than me. The other day, she said, “You’re a really good mom.” Sometimes I feel like I’m such a failure because I’m always working. But she just started rattling off all the things that I am to her, and my eyes started watering. I thought, I’m doing a good job. It validated all the things that I poured into her.”
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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