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There’s a lot of power in letting go, especially if it means removing ourselves from toxic relationships that hold us back from our higher selves. And if there’s one person that understands the beauty of surrendering to the process, it’s The Bachelorette star, Charity Lawson.


In August, millions watched as Lawson embarked on her journey to finding love as the second Black Bacheloretteon the ABC dating show. Now, the 27-year-old has taken her talents to the dance floor on season 32 of Dancing with the Stars.

The reality TV star spoke withPEOPLE during a post-show interview to discuss a previous relationship that narrowed her vision of the future, causing her to believe that the possibilities in life were limited. "I did not, I mean, I envision a future for myself, but I think my scope was very limited,” Lawson shared about her last relationship.

Having the right people in your corner who can encourage personal growth in your life is essential to feeling supported on your journey, without it, some may be left feeling confined or even stuck, like in Lawson’s case. “I think I didn't really have a full picture of what I thought could be possible for my life — which is sad to say — but it's like when you're not in a relationship that really pushes you to blossom or just even the people around you in general, friends, whoever that may be, it's like you become almost like in this box.”

Lawson revealed that she left a toxic relationship marked by infidelity, which despite her best efforts to salvage, ultimately took an emotional toll on her self-esteem. "Before that, I left a really toxic relationship," she shared. "There was a lot of infidelity and I kept overextending myself to make things work... being in the trenches so lost and not knowing how to get out, I wasn't really proud of who I was."

Luckily, Lawson has since found love and companionship in her new fiancé, Dotun Olubeko, whom she became engaged to during The Bachelorette season finale.

Now that the two are “happily engaged,” she believes that going through the difficult experiences of her past relationship was necessary for her personal growth and transformation. "It took me going through that unfortunately to become the version of who I am today," she reflects. "Sometimes you need to go through the worst things in life to get to the best place and this dance needs to show that painful journey."

“And so now that I'm where I'm at and I went through so much in a short amount of time, I am a much better person. I'm more vibrant. I really do feel like I'm exactly where I need to be," she says.

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Featured image by Arturo Holmes/Getty Images FOR ESSENCE

 

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