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Marriage

When you’re a marriage life coach (that would be me), it’s rare that news of a divorce ever shocks you. Still, I get how and why it caught some people off guard when DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good decided to call it quits, almost 10 years in and right as we were approaching, the year of our Lord, 2022. Per usual, there has been a ton of speculation. All I’m gonna say is marriage remains beautiful, merging two lives is always challenging and before you decide to jump the broom yourself, it’s a good idea to know as much as possible about what you’re getting into — this includes what the stats say about divorce. And intel offers up quite a bit of insight on the topic.

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When you’re a relationship coach and a writer, you find yourself talking to all kinds of people about all sorts of stuff. For me, a perk that comes from that is being able to share with you what lurks in the minds of men and women on a variety of topics (especially since they know that I will go with their middle name or a pseudonym, so that their identity can remain concealed; today, it’s middle names).

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OK, so before we jump into all of this, let me just say that the title of this article is a bit of a play-on words. I think that’s important to mention because I don’t believe there is actually something called a “love lie”. I have too much respect for love to be out here signing on to toxic resolves like “love hurts” or “love makes you do crazy things” — love doesn’t cause this; people do. No, what I mean by a “love lie” is it’s something that two people, who love each other, sometimes will lie to themselves about when it comes to their approach to their relationship. And when that love is the kind that is shared between a married couple — oh, there are all kinds of lies that have the potential to cause some real drama. Unnecessarily so.

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Porsha Williams has been opening up about her whirlwind romance with fiancé Simon Guobadia which consequently sparked a lot of backlash. If you’ve been living under a rock, the former Real Housewives of Atlanta star’s relationship with the Nigerian businessman came under fire due to him being married to Falynn Guobadia at the time they both were introduced on the Bravo reality series through Porsha.

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Back in the day, there was a wife who, when it came to the subject of marriage, she used to talk to me like I was in junior high school. What I mean by that is, after she got married, she suddenly started acting like she had to either speak slower (like I wouldn't "get it" otherwise) or walk on eggshells when it came to topics like romantic relationships, sex and the day to day demands of her life, as if my being single somehow meant that I couldn't even begin to comprehend such matters. Lawd, that was draining. It's literally like when some people's tax forms switch over from "single" to "married" (no tax form says "dating" by the way; some of y'all will catch that later), they start acting like they should automatically be elected to the role of mentors — sometimes even "second parents" — to single folks…whether we asked them to do that or not seems to be completely irrelevant.

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We all know how the song goes. As we move, full speed ahead into Thanksgiving and then Christmas, it's considered to be "the most wonderful time of the year" for so many. Still, if we're gonna get really real about it all, preparing for the holiday season can be one of the most stressful times of the year too; especially when it comes to married folks who are trying to proactively care for their relationship, maintain their daily lifestyle and figure out how they are gonna pull each special day off with as little drama as possible.

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