Last Wednesday evening (August 19), Senator Kamala Harris took the virtual stage of the 2020 Democratic Convention and addressed the nation as the first Black and South Asian woman to accept a major party's vice-presidential nomination.
From a pandemic to divisive leadership and economic uncertainty, Senator Harris' historic achievement comes at a time when our country is in dire need of leadership, and more specifically - Black women's leadership.
Because we know that when Black women step into their power, what needs to be done, will be done.
A Legacy of Leadership
Last week also marked 100 years since the passage of the 19th Amendment, and while Black women were integral to its passing, their fight for a seat at the political table was just beginning.
Harris' achievement is the latest in a legacy of Black women's suffragists whose leadership galvanized communities and shattered glass ceilings. She notes this in her speech at the 2020 Democratic Convention saying:
"They paved the way for the trailblazing leadership of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And these women inspired us to pick up the torch, and fight on. Women like Mary Church Terrell and Mary McCleod Bethune. Fannie Lou Hamer and Diane Nash. Constance Baker Motley and Shirley Chisholm. We're not often taught their stories. But as Americans, we all stand on their shoulders."
Image: Mason Trinca / Getty Images
In recent years, we've seen a new generation of Black women effecting change in politics, education, business, and beyond. Black women represent the fastest-growing segment of entrepreneurs, with the number of Black women-led startups doubling since 2016. They also represent the most educated demographic and have become a political force with a record number of Black women set to run for Congress.
Despite these advancements, Black women disproportionately face challenges at the intersection of race gender. These challenges are not new and actualize themselves in injustices such as workplace biases, disparities in health care, income inequalities, and the erasure of Black women in today's fight against police brutality.
"Anti-Black racism is once again at the center of national consciousness, an unavoidable reality amplified by twin pandemics—the COVID-19 pandemic and the uprisings in response to unyielding forms of state violence," said Shermena M. Nelson, Chief of Staff and Director of Programs and Community Engagement at the African American Policy Forum (AAPF). "Both COVID-19 and police violence have made blatantly apparent the racial inequalities that persist in American society."
Image: September 2020 of 'O Magazine' honoring Breonna Taylor
For Nelson, AAPF's mission to dismantle structural racism and other barriers that disempower marginalized communities is increasingly important during this time of consciousness.
"We want to maximize this moment of attention, guiding attention to work that is transformative and sustainable. This cannot just be a moment."
Nelson joined a line-up of modern leaders like Linda Sarsour, co-founder of the Women's March, and Reverend Marcia Dyson at the virtual Black Womxn's Summit hosted by the Office of the Dean of the Chapel at Howard University, Senator Harris' alma mater. Hosted on Black Women's Equal Pay Day, the intra-racial summit celebrated Black womanhood while exploring other topics like education, health, sexism, and police brutality, among others, that uniquely impact Black women.
"With the killing of Breonna Taylor, we see once again the need for narratives that account for the racist police violence against Black women and girls. These stories are too often left untold, these names too often left unsaid."
Protecting Black Women in Today’s Social Climate
When it comes to Black women, public outrage often trails to that of their male counterparts. It's been approximately five months since Breonna Taylor's death and her murderers have still not been arrested.
We've seen this time again in cases of police violence toward Black women and girls like Oluwatoyin "Toyin" Salau, Atatiana Jefferson, Charleena Lyles, and Sandra Bland - a case that many of us first associated with #SayHerName, a 2014 campaign launched by AAPF to bring awareness to the names of these victims whose names we often do not hear.
But it shouldn't take for Black women's wrongful deaths to prompt action. How can we begin to effectively dismantle the structures that promote our erasure, so that we, and consequently all Americans, can walk in our full power?
"To properly diagnose and attempt to remedy the disparate violence we must use a framework of analysis that can identify the particulars of these two crises, namely, the ways in which race, gender, and class interact and compound," said Nelson. "We have to look at this as a structural issue. These killings are not just one case. One situation. One moment. They are the products of centuries of discrimination and systems that were uniquely crafted to oppress."
Our country is in a polarized, vulnerable state, one that presents many challenges, but the bright opportunity for widespread and institutional change - but only if we act. To do so, we must support organizations that are doing what is needed to knock down racial barriers and create pathways to equity.
"I believe there is a role for everyone. Education is a key way to support. Educate yourself, your colleagues, your friends. Make conscious, intentional efforts to elevate the movement. Lend your support to organizations who are doing the work (donate, volunteer, attend, promote), and remove your support from organizations and individuals who are opposed to the work."
The power to change leadership and advocate for existence lies in our right to vote. With arguably the most important election on the horizon, now is the time to show up for Black women the way they've always shown up for us all.
"This is not a time to passively observe or wait for others to step up. The time is now. We cannot wait."
To learn more and support the work of the African American Policy Forum, please visit aapf.org.
Featured image by Getty Images
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Over the weekend, while headling Beautycon, the 42-year-old singer revealed to PEOPLE that her biggest beauty splurge comes in the form of LED light therapy. She told the outlet, "There's this light by Shani Darden, the LED light, and it's not cheap. But I literally sleep under it every night."
LED stands for Light Emitting Diode, and in light therapy, these little diodes emit different wavelengths of light to benefit your skin. LED light therapy has seen an uptick in popularity for its benefits, which range from acne reduction and skin rejuvenation to pain relief and a more even skin tone.
She continued, “It's like a 20 to 30-minute time limit. When I'm under there, it [has] red lights, blue lights, and other colors of light. But those are the ones that I use the most, and they are so awesome because of the simple fact that they are like killing germs and [helping with] anti-aging, which is amazing."
Kelly didn't lie when she said her go-to beauty device was a "splurge." Retailing at a whopping $1,900, the Shani Darden best-selling LED Light Therapy Mask "is clinically proven to reduce acne, pigmentation, and wrinkles." Per the website, the re-engineered "diode LEDs deliver the highest dose of red, blue and near infrared light therapy in cutting-edge wavelength combinations for smoothing, clearing and brightening benefits."
Kelly is someone who gets badder with age, and over the years, the wife and mom have been vocal about her dedication to self-care through the use of beauty products. In a 2022 interview with PEOPLE, she shared her inner beauty philosophy, "Give yourself as many compliments as you possibly can. You start with one, you can have two. You have two, you can have four."
Keep scrolling for some of Kelly Rowland's other beauty faves, including a couple of additional Shani Darden finds:
Pat McGrath Labs Sublime Perfection Foundation
Pat McGrath Labs
"For me [with foundation] it was either not enough coverage or too much coverage … Pat [McGrath] found the perfect blend of them both," Kelly told PEOPLE. "This is actually my color, and it blends in beautifully with the skin – the texture of it is just like silk. I brush it on, or, sometimes I use the little sponge and push it into the skin. It's my favorite. She just nailed it, she really nailed it."
Shani Darden Skin Care Facial Sculpting Wand
The Cut
Regarding this product, Kelly revealed to The Cut, "I go up my cheekbones, across my skin and my temples with her wand — it’s incredible."
Shani Darden Skin Care Retinol Reform
"I've been with [esthetician] Shani [Darden] for almost 10 years. I was having the toughest time with my skin after I had Titan [seven years ago]. Before she sold this, she put it in a little tube for me and told me when and how to use it–she likes to educate, which I really appreciate–and my skin changed in a matter of two weeks." - via PEOPLE
Augustinus Bader the Rich Cream
The Cut
“Sometimes I use the Rich Cream, and sometimes I just use the Cream," she explained to The Cut about her product preferences.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Beautycon™
