What The SOTU Means For Black Women
During the presidential election of 2020, Black women across the country sashayed to the polls to deliver the presidency to Joseph R. Biden. With a Black woman running mate by his side, and the promise of robust change after four years of what felt like an unending catastrophe on a national and global scale, Black women were ready to move the country forward with the help of our elected leaders.
This might not be a surprise to many of us, but in the little over a year since Biden has taken office, Black women have seen minimal return in our investment from the leaders who campaigned for our votes. A pandemic and a war going on? We’re tired!
In his first State of the Union address as president this past Tuesday, Biden addressed these pressing issues: the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the sanctions he’s placed on Russia, continued efforts to mitigate the spread of COVID-19, healthcare, the Black female nominee for the Supreme Court, and more.
Here are my key takeaways of the night and how they impact the lives of Black women:
The Pandemic and Healthcare
The President relayed reports from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention that states that most of the country no longer need to wear their mask with projections showing that more of the country will reach that threshold in the forthcoming weeks. He continued by talking about the effectiveness of vaccines and new treatments such as Pfizer’s pill purport to reduce the likelihood of hospitalization by 90 percent.
Black women have experienced the brunt of the economic and health disparities of COVID-19 with reports that Black women are dying at higher rates than white men from the virus and that Black women are still struggling to recover from the impact of losing their jobs during the pandemic. Any plan that seeks to move the country forward from the devastating impact of the virus, needs to address the unique challenges that Black women face in the healthcare system from the inability to pay for medical treatment. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 27.9 percent of Black households have medical debt, compared with 17.9 percent of white households.
While discussing his unprosperous Build Back Better plan, the President urged pharmaceutical companies to cut the cost of prescription drugs. “We pay more for the same drug, produced by the same company in America than any other country in the world,” Biden said. The President used the example of insulin which he proposed should only cost 35 dollars a month. But anything less than free will always leave many Americans writ large, and Black women in particular at a disadvantage.
Policing
In a rare moment of bipartisan unity, Biden received a rousing round of applause from both Republicans and Democrats after declaring once again that he does not support efforts to defund the police and that instead, he’s in favor of giving police departments even more funds and resources. Many might remember how during his campaign Biden latched himself onto the family of George Floyd at the height of the Defund the Police movement in a transparent attempt to garner campaign support. The George Floyd Justice in Policing Act, a part of a promise made by Biden to the family of Floyd, failed to pass through congress. While critics have pointed out that the act doesn’t go nearly far enough to address the real problems with policing in America, the failure of even meager reform to pass is an example of the government’s disinterest in ensuring that Black Americans are free from the terror of police violence.
Continued efforts to recertify the Violence Against Women’s Act and last year’s Stop Asian Hate bill – both of which Biden mentioned in his speech– have functioned as just ways of funneling more resources away from vulnerable populations and into policing. Black women in particular who would benefit more from receiving resources such as housing, healthcare, and others things that could curb the rate of intimate partner violence, are left to rely on the police who often exacerbate situations to a lethal degree.
It’s also important to note that despite Biden’s staunch support against the Defund the Police Movement, defunding is a matter of local government not federal.
SCOTUS
If Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States, filling the seat of soon to be retired Justice Stephen Breyer, then she will make history as the first Black woman to sit on the bench. The excitement at the prospect of having a Black female judge has certainly possessed many Black women as it's been 233 years that the highest court in the land has not had Black women representation. While speaking about Jackson, no doubt to stave off Republican attempts to paint her as a radical, Biden noted that Jackson has gained the support of the Fraternal Order of Police. But what does it mean for a Black woman to be on the Court if she is supported by an organization that has spoken out against victims of police violence?
As parents, siblings, and victims ourselves, we need a justice system that protects and defends victims of police violence. We need police violence to end. Having a Black woman as vice president has proven that Black faces in high places are not enough if they are being used as instruments of the state to further disenfranchise Black women. We need the policy to match.
Education
Studies have shown that Black women disproportionately owe the most in terms of student loan debt, and despite it being one of his key campaign promises that he would eliminate such debt once he takes office, Biden has neither canceled student debt nor did he mention it during his address Tuesday night, continuing to leave millions of Black women who are crippled by debt in the dark about what the future will look like if they are to continue having to pay on their loans.
On the subject of education, Biden calls for the support of Pell Grants, HBCUs, and community colleges (though it was recently announced that free community college would no longer be a part of the spending bill.)
Voting Rights
Voting rights continue to be in jeopardy all across the country. In January, Biden said in response to the voting rights act named after late Civil Rights leader John Lewis has lost momentum in the Senate that "No matter how hard they make it for minorities to vote, I think you are going to see them willing to stand in line and defy the attempt to keep them from being able to keep them from being able to vote." The bill would seek to make election day a national holiday, allow states to have two weeks of early voting, allow voting by mail, call for the expansion of the type of identification people are allowed to use in states that require ID, same-day registration and voting, and outlaw partisan gerrymandering.
In his SOTU speech, Biden urges the Senate to continue to fight for voting rights, but his recent comments signal towards a concession that will just continue to place the undue burden of Black voters to jump through hurdles to have their voices heard electorally instead of taking systemic measures to ease any restrictions. Even with the robust organizing of Black women-led nonprofits like the Black Voters Matter fund, who continue to provide resources and information to Black voters, the continued trajectory of voting restrictions will leave Black women, the Democrats' most loyal voter base, without the ability to make it to the polls in the future.
The Future
Throughout the pandemic, Black women have been doing what we’ve always done–helping each other survive. Whether it’s the Black-women led Magnolia Medical Foundation expanding its mission to specifically help Black mothers through the physical, mental and emotional toll of COVID-19, or the many social media communities that have sprung up to offer Black women mutual aid or mental health help, one thing is clear: where politicians may be failing us, our communities are holding us together.
Featured image by Getty Images
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images