If no one has told you today: I love you and I see you, sis.
Regardless of our sexual orientation, economic status, religious beliefs, and marital status, Black women remain the most neglected, unprotected, and disrespected people in America and you, my good sister, deserve better. I deserve better. And so did 19-year-old activist Oluwatoyin "Toyin" Salau, who was recently found murdered in Tallahassee after tweeting the details of her sexual assault.
Here's what you need to know:
Oluwatoyin Salau Fought Relentlessly For Black Lives
Toyin was originally reported missing on June 6 and was subsequently found dead alongside 75-year-old AARP volunteer Victoria Sims by authorities after being missing for eight days. The teenager was a vocal member of the Black Lives Matter movement in Tallahassee and relentlessly pulled TF up for victims of police brutality, including trans man, Tony McDade, who was fatally shot and killed by police officers, until the time of her death.
Oluwatoyin Salau Was Seeking Refuge Before Her Death
Hours before her disappearance, Toyin penned a series of tweets that quickly gained traction and ultimately triggered a statewide search for the young activist. Toyin, estranged from family and without resources, explained that upon searching for refuge, she encountered a man who she initially suspected to be a good samaritan. The teenager shared that although she found shelter at a nearby church, she was ultimately forced to leave in order to "escape unjust living conditions." She wrote:
"He came disguised as a man of God and ended up picking me up from nearby Saxon Street. I entered his truck only because I carry anything to defend myself not even a phone (which is currently at the church) and I have poor vision. I trusted the holy spirit to keep me safe.'
Oluwatoyin Salau Tweeted The Details Of Her Assault
Shortly after, Toyin described being violated, an experience that she became familiar with while navigating life as a homeless teenager. Her tweets continued:
"Once I saw he was asleep I escaped from the house and started walking from Richview Road to anywhere else. All of my belongings my phone my clothes shoes are all assumably at the church where I've been trying to track since I sought spiritual guidance/ refuge. I will not be silent. Literally wearing this man's clothes right now DNA all over me because I couldn't locate his house the moment I called the police because I couldn't see."
...Which Later Helped Authorities Locate A Suspect
While information from her tweets was unable to help authorities find Toyin before her untimely death, they did help police locate 49-year-old Aaron Glee Jr., a suspect who is now being investigated for double homicide and was accused of sexual assault as early as a week before her disappearance.
"Mid 40's lives in a gray painted duplex apartment style house drives a white clean Silverado Chevrolet truck."
The 19-year-old activist was described by friends as "brave" and "passionate" soul who damn sure didn't deserve to die by the hand of a man whose freedoms she was fighting to preserve. Toyin's story is only one of the heartbreaking tales that reminds us that Black women are a national treasure that deserve to be protected and heard at all costs.
As we mourn the deaths of our many sisters who have been silenced by police brutality, domestic violence, and internalized misogyny alike, please don't forget to say their names:
Featured image by Twitter.
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Detoxes concentrate on drawing out bad toxins and energies and realigning us with our purpose. Usually, when my energy is low, or I experience constant uneasiness, I know I need to take steps to detox spiritually. Luckily, I remembered a Reiki healer who worked with a close friend years ago; therefore, I started there.
I checked in with Reiki Practitioner Tamara Angela (@loveandfaerymagic) for her top ten recommendations on how to spiritually detox. I appreciate Tamara’s advice because she uses Reiki as “maintenance, not crisis [management],” thus, helping me realize I can prevent “spiritual clutter” from progressing.
Reiki practitioner Tamara Angela
Photo courtesy of Tamara Angela
According to Tamara, "Reiki is a Japanese healing art. It [Reiki] comes with the understanding that we are all energy. And the way I describe it is Reiki covers you like your grandma’s prayer.” And we all know how vital our grandmother’s (or elders’) prayers are, especially growing up.
Ways To Spiritually Detox
Tamara explained that her nine steps all work together and detoxify your spirit and help you maintain the work you put into cleansing your spirit. We apply many of these steps to our daily routine, not realizing how crucial they are for our spiritual health. Each step ties into the other, and all are necessary.
When you do a spiritual detox it's important to remember, it’s a lifestyle. Start slowly to create the level of peace you want and build the stability you need. Tamara shares, “You can do all nine steps and still experience chaos. That is why it is important to have a baseline, a level of peace,” Tamara says. “You have to create a baseline of stability that you can revert back to. ‘I am used to this level of peace.’ Someone came along to disturb it, and now I have to fix it. Now, I can come back to these [steps] and remove that energy and know how to properly.”
1. Turn off your phone notifications and alerts.
Those notifications keep you tethered to constantly looking out for things (i.e. a text from that one person you should have kept blocked), thus, making it harder to calm your spirits. “Instead, choose a time in the day when you’re checking notifications,” Tamara recommended.
2. Get proper rest.
We experience different levels of sleep, and getting proper rest allows your body to reset. Raise your hand if your off day consists of running multiple errands. Often, we do not rest on our off days; “something” comes up. That “something” can be as simple as your favorite reality show.
Feel seen yet? I surely did. Sitting down and binge-watching a TV show does not allow your mind to rest effectively. For proper rest, Tamara suggested that classical and jazz music or white noise is okay, but nothing with lyrics.
3. Clear and calm your nervous system
When you are constantly experiencing things, sometimes you need to calm your mind down. For example, when something goes wrong with the Wi-Fi, we reset the modem. We should do the same when it comes to our bodies. Unfortunately, we tend to not think like that regarding our body and nervous system. “We are in a constant sensory experience," Tamara explained.
"You have six senses. That is how you experience the world. So, when you are constantly experiencing things, sometimes you need to calm down. Sometimes you need to remove something. Sometimes you need to be aware of how much you have taken in or have the capacity to take in.”
According to Apollo Neuro, an overactive sympathetic nervous system can cause issues like muscle tension, jitters, insomnia, etc. It can also lead to hyper-vigilance, the tendency to detect danger, even in its absence. By contrast, excessive tiredness, depression, and an overactive gag reflex can signal parasympathetic dominance. Fortunately, steps eight and nine emphasize easing an overactive nervous system.
4. Enjoy the company of good friends with laughter
“Laughter is a way to express emotion; it’s a great release. You are not in an inadequate space when you’re there [with friends].” As we know, laughter is good for the soul; it releases endorphins and helps you release things.
5. Purge your living space/get rid of clutter
Also known as “spring cleaning.” Constant mess or clutter is draining, and cleaning removes that negative energy. A great example Tamara uses is opening a window as it “can let out negative, stagnant energy. Many people do not realize that this practice is hoodoo-based.”
6. Unplug
Completely unplug or pick a day or time, and unplug. One way to do this is by turning off your phone. You cannot scroll through social media, talk on the phone, etc. Tamara recommended starting with 15 minutes and progressing from there.
7. Set boundaries
My personal favorite as I’ve gotten older. From a former people-pleaser, this is not an easy task. A lot of the pleasing we wrap ourselves up in is one of the main reasons we are spiritually drained. Setting boundaries is healthy; do things are your terms.
8. Do some Reiki
“Reiki energy balancing allows you to center yourself and clear that [negative] energy,” Tamara said. She further explained that it's like a church mother “laying hands on you.” Reiki is an energy healing technique that promotes relaxation and reduces stress and anxiety through gentle touch. Reiki practitioners use their hands to deliver energy to your body, improving the flow and balance of your energy to support healing.
Reiki practitioners are a conduit between you and the universal life force energy source. The energy flows through the practitioner’s hands to you. However, your Reiki healer does not always have to touch you for Reiki to work physically. “You can receive Reiki healing from long distances, like on the phone,” Tamara said. Instead, clients experience the energy through heat, cold, tingling, or pulsing sensations.
There are many benefits to Reiki. Reiki can:
- Promote relaxation, stress reduction, and symptom relief to improve overall health and well-being.
- Bring on a meditative state.
- Foster tissue and bone healing after injury or surgery.
- Stimulate your body’s immune system.
- Promote natural self-healing.
- Relieve pain and tension.
9. Breath/breathwork
“Breathwork is extremely helpful in moving any stagnant energy,” and that is why Tamara gives the people she works with a two-minute meditation that consists of breathwork. One breathwork exercise is placing your hand on your heart and feeling the movement of your heartbeat. Doing this technique for two minutes will recenter you and can be performed anywhere – office cubicle, home, etc. Even a deep belly breath, hold, then release is a great way to release stuck emotions.
“The process of inhaling brings in what we need, and that full exhale is letting go of what we do not [need],” Tamara said.
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Feature image by Johnce/ Getty Images
Originally published on April 13, 2023