'Run The World' Is The Ode To Black Women, Black Culture, And Black Love We All Need
This article is in partnership with Starz.
Listen. We all love a good rerun of Sex and the City, but the ghosts of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda can go ahead and rest. There's finally a new, formidable foursome further uptown—Harlem that is—and they've taken the fashion, sex, and sister-girlfriend drama to entertainingly engaging new levels. Trust me, Starz's new series Run the World is the ode to Black femininity, friendship, and NYC flavor we all need right now. And if you haven't been tuned in on Sunday nights at 8:30 p.m., you're truly missing out.
The series features women we can all either relate to, live vicariously through, or maybe even side eye, wondering where our coin is because at least one sis is us. Ella is a sexy, Caesar-cut rocking writer (played by Andrea Bordeaux) who begins the season mourning love lost and stumbling through a career renewal. Sondi (played by Corbin Reid) is a Ph.D. student who serves Cree Summer-in-A-Different-World-edgy realness, while juggling school and an entanglement with her single-dad advisor.
Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
Whitney is an elegant yet aloof banker (played by Amber Stevens West) prepping for a massive Nigerian wedding after cheating on her fiance. (And that's reason enough to continue watching if not just to see the festivities unfold. If you know, you know.) And last but certainly not least is Renee (played by Bresha Webb), a feisty-fiery soon-to-be-divorced marketing exec who unapologetically serves as the tell-it-like-it-is voice of ratchet reason in the group.
It's The Quality For Us
Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
This is the Living Single of today's generation, packed full of quality cinematography, storylines that actually make sense in a city setting, cameos by real-life staples of the Harlem nightlife and restaurant scenes (that will make you forget how long you've been self-isolating), and sexcapades that spark memories of what it was like to have an active dating life that went beyond sexting, quarantine loving, and weird dating app rendezvous. There's not a badly styled or poorly-sourced wig in sight, no disjointed plot lines to sort through, and hardly any saucy, overly dramatic dialogue or fight scenes, so you're in for just good, solid TV with this one.
Speaking of Living Single, Erika Alexander makes an appearance, playing Barb, the chic, no-nonsense boss of Ella. She brings the same ambitious, savvy, youthful spunk to the role as she did with Maxine.
Sex, Some Good Sex, and More... Well Sex
Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
Oh, and let's not forget the foine (yes, F-O-I-N-E) men who add the perfect dose of masculinity and tainted romance to the mix. Whitney's debonair Nigerian doctor bae, Ola, is played by Tosin Morohunfola, Renee's soon-to-be ex, Jason, is played by the chocolate goodness that is Jay Walker, and the naughty zaddy professor, is played by Stephen Bishop. (Remember him from the luscious situationship in Being Mary Jane? Yes, sis. Him.)
Ella's handsomely clever boo, Anderson, (played by Nick Sagar) represents that irresistible guy we all put in the "It's Complicated" file, who uses mysterious charm, a smirk buoyed by a good set of immaculately white teeth, and some amazing bedroom moves to keep us coming back for more when we shouldn't. These men don't disappoint, especially when it comes to sex and eye candy, and if you want a sense of what the sensuous scenes are like, these sistas are gettin' it in like Issa and Nola.
Serving Looks and Harlem Vibes
Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
Social commentary on subjects including sexism, gender roles, Karens, and upward mobility is peppered in without beating you in the head and ruining the escapism factor, of course. You'll also get chats about white dicks vs. Black ones, motherhood vs. the rich auntie life, and married life vs. gloriously-single-and-loving-it in a way that feels like you're just eavesdropping at a good Sunday brunch. And we can't talk a good Black female-driven dram-com set in NYC without mentioning fashion. You've got pieces from favs LaQuan Smith and Hanifa that spark all the good feels of getting up and showing out for the streets.
The mix of luxe door-knockers, brightly-hued furs, alluring silks, beautiful ankara prints, and strappy heels is absolutely everything when paired with the landscape of 116th Street's landmark African market, the expansive wall murals and monuments on and around 125th Street, the yummy sights and smells of spots like Red Rooster, Shrine, and Yatenga, the lushness of Marcus Garvey Park, and the grand historic architecture of Harlem's walk-up brownstones.
Don't Call It A Remake
Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
But don't get it twisted. While there are comparisons being made to other girlfriend-centered shows of years past, this one offers its own fresh, updated take on dating, sex, and friendship that ensures you know you're in 2021, and there's a contemporary maturity to the show that allows it to hold its own. This isn't just a revamped, been-there-done-that remake of something you've already seen—and probably still stream for nostalgia's sake—before.
Run the World offers a refreshing slice of uptown Manhattan life featuring imagery of Black women, vibrant Black culture, and captivating Black love that reignites the senses and perfectly reflects a spicy semi-utopia of normalcy we all hope to return to—in real life—sometime sooner than later.
Featured image courtesy of Rebecca Smythe (Starz Entertainment)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images