

"Were they even in a 'real' relationship?" You overhear your best girlfriends say as you grip the box of Kleenex with one hand and tub of ice cream in the other. You pretend not to hear them as you continue bawling your eyes out, wishing it didn't hurt so bad. No, you weren't in an official relationship, but it sure felt like it.
He was the one you called when you had good news or bad, you spent weekends, holidays, and ditch days from work with him. You shared some of your most intimate memories and confided in him things your best friend didn't even know about you! You never intended to get caught up or catch feelings for someone you weren't official with, but you did. When you finally realized your arrangement wasn't enough, it was too late and you were already too deep.
Fortunately, life will go on. These tips are sure to help you move on from Mr. Wrong.
1. Delete, Delete, Delete
Delete him from Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Whatsapp, and Twitter. Delete his number, delete his cousins, delete his friends, block him. Seeing his face everyday is not conducive to you moving on. You will constantly be reminded of the times you shared, or even worse, have to see him making memories with his newest love interest. Do you really want to put yourself through that heartache? He didn't see enough worth in you to make things official, so why should you hold onto him? You don't need him, so stop cyberstalking him and checking to see the last time he was on Whatsapp. Simply stop, delete, and block.
2. Stop Communicating With Him
Seriously, how many more times do you need him to tell you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship? One closure conversation is more than enough. Don't give him the satisfaction of even knowing he still crosses your mind. If it helps, change his number to "Don't answer." Block him if he's persistent. He had his chance with you, don't allow him to waste your time. You already know his feelings are not mutual. What more is there to know? Talking to him is only going to allow you to open yourself back up to him. Hang up the phone, delete the unsent text message, and let it go.
3. Talk to Your Honest Friends
We all have at least one friend who we know we can count on to always be honest with us. She is the friend who will tell you NOT to wear that dress, that you have lipstick on your teeth, and it's time to start hitting the gym. Though tact may not always be her forte, honesty is. She will let you know it's time to move on from the guy she warned you about from the beginning. She will remind you of all the things you told her you hated about him and why it's important for you to move on. Stay away from your sappy friends during this time. The hopeless romantics will only steer you in the wrong direction. Keep honest Betty in your corner; she is the one who will help you move on.
4. Get Moving
You should get into something that not only makes you look good, but feel good, too! Exercising creates endorphins, which make you happy. What better feeling is there than happiness? Exercising will also help you look and feel wonderful! Plus, you will be so exhausted from working out you won't even have time to think about him! Join a gym or buy some workout equipment for home. Just get those buns moving.
Have a friend work out with you so you can hold each other accountable. The more you workout, the better you will look and feel.
5. Get Out of the House
Girl, if you don't get off that couch! Staying home obsessing over what he said, what he didn't say, and why you are still single, is not going to change anything. Overthinking is not going to solve your problems. Of course it is important to have time to yourself, but every single weekend should not be dedicated to Netflix and pizza. Get moving. Go out with your girlfriends. Go on a date, get your nails done, just go! Being around people who love and appreciate you is the greatest gift you can give yourself right now. One guy should not be the end of your social life. Think back to the things you enjoyed doing before him. Do that, but make sure you do it outside of your house.
6. Set Goals
Now that you have plenty of time to yourself, why not set some goals you've been putting off. The great thing about being completely single is that it gives you time to reflect on things you need to do! You don't have to worry about how anyone else feels or what they are thinking. Your thoughts should be 100% on bettering YOU. Create a vision board of short- and long-term goals and write out a list of things you want to accomplish that you have been putting off. Every time you complete a goal, scratch it off your list, and add another one.
7. Try Something New
Have you ever been to the movies by yourself? Or even taken yourself to lunch? Have you been to the museum in your city? Have you ever traveled to a new city alone? Tried a cooking class perhaps? There are so many things that you have probably never even experienced that you've been dying to do. Write a list of things that you have always wanted to do. If it requires a little extra money, put money to the side and save up for it. Build a greater connection with yourself, become a little more cultured, find out what you enjoy doing! Spend time getting to know you!
8. Reflect
Ok, now it's time to do some reflecting! What in the heck went wrong? Did he let you know from the beginning he wasn't interested in a relationship? Did you not care at first and eventually grow feelings? Did you think you could change his mind? Usually, unless a guy is a complete charming psychopath, there are signs from the very beginning of how he really feels for you. Was he supportive of your dreams? Was he dependable? Did he show you off to his friends and family? Did he vow to one day make you his? Whatever it was that he did or did not do, it's time to move on.
Write a letter to yourself and one to him. In the letter to him, say all the things you ever wanted to say to him. In the letter to yourself, tell yourself that even though you made a mistake, you are still phenomenal. Write down all the things you love about you. Keep your letter to yourself, burn his.
Alternative: Seal his letter in an envelope and date it. When you open the letter years later, you'll remember how you felt. But, it's a good feeling to look back and realize that what you thought was meant for you, really wasn't. You are over it now and it's a lesson learned.
9. Break Bad Habits
Do you get the urge to see him every time you drink? Do you find yourself turning to that bottle of wine you keep for special occasions every time he crosses your mind? Put it down! Drinking can lead to a whole lot of emotions that you don't need right now. Instead of picking up a bottle of alcohol, how about doing something good for your body? Juice some fresh fruits and vegetables, drink a gallon of water, eat a salad. Then, go for a run or call a friend and tell them about your day. Or call honest Betty so she can set you straight.
10. Forgive Him
Maybe he led you on. Afterwards, he might have acted like the spawn of Satan himself. He might have made you feel pain you never thought you could. At the end of the day, you have to forgive him. If not for him, do it for yourself.
He might not even know you are upset. He's probably living his life without a care in the world while you sit at home throwing darts at his pictures. Despite how mad at him you may be, you are only hurting yourself. Forgive him and forgive yourself for staying in a situation that was going nowhere. When you allow yourself to release that anger, you will feel so much better.
11. Go on a Date
Reactivate that SoulSwipe or Tinder account. Ask your friends to set you up on a blind date, or let the guy who has been hounding you for months finally take you out! I'm not saying to get in a relationship or, God forbid, another situationship tomorrow, and definitely don't sleep with anyone, but go on a good old fashioned date. It's important to know that the guy you were dating is not the only man in the world and there are plenty of other men who are dying to spend some one-on-one time with you. Meet new people, create new experiences, and get your feet wet in the dating scene again. Dating is great for your ego and for your life. You might meet a few frogs or you might also meet prince charming, but one thing is for sure, you won't meet anyone sitting on the couch. Get back out there and date!
12. Create
Are you an artist in your own right? Channel all of that pent up energy and frustration you have towards your art! Pen a poem, write a song, paint a picture. Utilize your creative abilities to express your feelings. You might just be the next Taylor Swift or Jhene Aiko.
Though breakups of any kind can be painful, there is always a silver lining. Remember pain is inevitable, suffering is not. Wipe away that tear so it doesn't mess up your makeup, reapply your lipstick, light a candle, and move on honey! You are more than equipped to get past this situation.
Tell me, what's your method of choice to get over a situationship?
Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter and Instagram also check out her website. www.ashleyreneepoet.com
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Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, writer and spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter & Instagram.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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