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Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility

This pairing has the foundation needed for a strong love story.

Horoscopes

A relationship between the Cancer man and the Libra woman is a bittersweet fairy tale. Libra women are the princesses of the zodiac whereas your typical Cancer man is the proverbial "Prince Charming." In the early stages of her relationship with a Cancer man, a Libra woman feels like she's finally found her prince; a charming gentleman who appreciates her inherent value physically, intellectually and emotionally.

Libra women tend to attract men drawn only to her looks and surface-level attributes, men who see her as a challenge to be conquered. In contrast, her Cancer suitor is refreshing in that he doesn't see her as a mere conquest, he wants to wife her. Libras have extremely discriminating tastes in men and are hesitant to settle down until they've met who they perceive to be the perfect one. The man who wins her heart will have to exercise plenty of patience and will have to put in the work to win her for the long-haul!

Interestingly enough, Cancer men are turned off by women they perceive to be "easy." Cancer men love a challenge and want to view the woman he settles down with as a much-desired prize. Both Libra and Cancer, in the initial stages of attraction, fit extremely well into what they each want as both a short-term and long-term partner.

This astrological pairing has the foundation needed for a strong love story.

However, as is the case with all fairy tales, there are major roadblocks that need to be overcome before these two can ever reach their happily ever after.

What attracts a Cancer man and a Libra woman to each other?

Cancer men are drawn to the effortless sex appeal of the flirty Libra. Libra women ooze femininity and Cancer men find this extremely attractive. Even dressed down, Libra women have a magnetic aura that draws men to them. Libra women are the personification of the infamous Drake line:

"Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on/That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong"

Turned off by aggressive and overtly sexual women, Libra has the kind of unassuming, girl-next-door beauty that Cancer men are typically attracted to. Similarly, Libra women can easily find a sense of security and stability with her Cancer mate who, like her, is ultimately seeking a long-term partnership. Libra is comforted by Cancer's traditional values, emotional sensitivity, deep respect and appreciation for her. This is one relationship where Libra won't feel like any aspect of herself is being taken for granted!

Cancer is attracted to Libra's light and breezy demeanor. The male crab is put off by fiery, confrontational women. Libra's peaceable, congenial nature is extremely attractive and soothing to the highly-sensitive crab. Likewise, Libra is deeply drawn to Cancer's gentlemanly, considerate and soft-natured personality. She is pulled in by his sensitivity, feeling compelled to nurture him. Cancer's vulnerability creates a soft spot in Libra's heart for him.

What is sex like between a Cancer man and a Libra woman? 

Sexually, Cancer men are attracted to assertive partners who don't mind taking control in the bedroom. He loves a woman who is free and won't hesitate to get on top and take control of her sexuality and orgasm. He is a giving lover who takes his woman's pleasure very seriously, especially when it comes to oral! He is naturally attracted to breasts and isn't squeamish in his strong attraction to the female anatomy. He will quite literally worship his woman in bed!

Libra is extremely sexually open, free and loves variety. She is uninhibited and loves trying new tricks in the bedroom. She is aroused by her mate's sexual desire and feeds off of Cancer's intense passion for her. Libra has no tolerance for monotonous or boring sex. In contrast, Cancer, while highly sexual and deeply emotional, is happy with a routine sex life.

Overall, there is a comfortable, invigorating synergy between both signs sexually.

What is a relationship like between a Cancer man and a Libra woman?

The Cancer man wants to settle down with a deeply empathetic partner. Cancer finds the most comfort in a motherly figure who is happy to provide for and cater to him while emotionally affirming him and encouraging his growth. Cancer men have no qualms about getting involved with older women; and, quite frankly, that may be the most appropriate and fulfilling dynamic for him.

The Libra woman needs a keen, patient listener who she can constantly bounce ideas off of. She needs intellectual stimulation and plenty of new experiences in life. She hates feeling bored or tied down in relationships and needs a life filled with beautiful experiences and surroundings. She is intensely empathetic to the mistreatment of others and may even find herself fighting for a cause. She roots for the underdog always because injustice affects her deeply.

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What may cause a Libra woman and a Cancer man to break up?

The Cancer male, who errs on the jealous side, may find himself feeling insecure by the attention his flirty Libra woman always seems to attract. Not one to be ill-mannered, Libra refuses to curtly rebuff male suitors, opting instead to politely (or even apologetically!) decline advances.

Libra's naturally social and flirty attitude to others can bruise Cancer's fragile ego. He feels she's "too nice" to other men and sends mixed messages to them. To him, she's impossible to pin down! Cancer feels disrespected by Libra's pleasantries, perceiving it as a lack of loyalty. Cancer's insecurities are deeply triggered, causing him to clam up and brood silently - much to the bewilderment of Libra.

In contrast, easy-breezy Libra is constantly weighing the pros and cons of a potential mate before settling down. She refuses to allow herself to be tied down to the wrong person. She values her independence and freedom. While deeply empathetic, she doesn't have the time or the patience for what she deems to be unreasonable and immature emotional responses.

To add fuel to the fire, indecisive Libra is always looking for any hints of incompatibility in relationships; and at the first hint of conflict or unpleasantry, she is inclined to detach from it. She may easily find herself repulsed by Cancer's jealousy and resentful nature. Turned off, she won't hesitate to leave the relationship altogether.

Unevolved Cancer is jealous and possessive. When he develops a strong bond with someone, he holds onto that bond for life. Sensing Libra's flirtatious nature, Cancer may shut down and remove Libra from the running, doubting her trustworthiness and loyalty.

Cancer's moodiness tends to throw Libra off-balance and Libra's flightiness triggers Cancer's deep insecurities.

Cancer Man Libra Woman Summary

A relationship between a Cancer man and a Libra woman has the foundation needed for a successful relationship, so long as certain critical pitfalls are avoided.

Cancer needs to be aware of his tendency toward jealousy and possessiveness. He has to feel secure enough within himself and his relationship to allow her plenty of room and freedom to express herself in the way that feels most natural to her, without doubting her loyalty.

In turn, Libra has to get rid of her deep fear of conflict and must be willing to compromise and be considerate of the effects her flirtiness has on her partner. She needs to practice gently confronting and addressing what she perceives to be Cancer's clingy and insecure behavior in order to reach a mutual understanding.

Once these major issues are addressed, Libra and Cancer can happily ride off into the sunset as romantic life partners - enjoying a relationship filled with empathy, peace, beautiful experiences and harmony.

Featured image by Getty Images

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You may not know her by Elisabeth Ovesen – writer and host of the love, sex and relationships advice podcast Asking for a Friend. But you definitely know her other alter ego, Karrine Steffans, the New York Times best-selling author who lit up the literary and entertainment world when she released what she called a “tell some” memoir, Confessions of a Video Vixen.

Her 2005 barn-burning book gave an inside look at the seemingly glamorous world of being a video vixen in the ‘90s and early 2000s, and exposed the industry’s culture of abuse, intimidation, and misogyny years before the Me Too Movement hit the mainstream. Her follow-up books, The Vixen Diaries (2007) and The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce And Keep The Man You Want (2009) all topped the New York Times best-seller list. After a long social media break, she's back. xoNecole caught up with Ovesen about the impact of her groundbreaking book, what life is like for her now, and why she was never “before her time”– everyone else was just late to the revolution.

xoNecole: Tell me about your new podcast Asking for a Friend with Elisabeth Ovesen and how that came about.

Elisabeth Ovesen: I have a friend who is over [at Blavity] and he just asked me if I wanted to do something with him. And that's just kinda how it happened. It wasn't like some big master plan. Somebody over there was like, “Hey, we need content. We want to do this podcast. Can you do it?” And I was like, “Sure.” And that's that. That was around the holidays and so we started working on it.

xoNecole: Your life and work seem incredibly different from when you first broke out on the scene. Can you talk a bit about the change in your career and how your life is now?

EO: Not that different. I mean my life is very different, of course, but my work isn't really that different. My life is different, of course, because I'm 43. My career started when I was in my 20s, so we're looking at almost 20 years since the beginning of my career. So, naturally life has changed a lot since then.

I don’t think my career has changed a whole lot – not as far as my writing is concerned, and my stream of consciousness with my writing, and my concerns and the subject matter hasn’t changed much. I've always written about interpersonal relationships, sexual shame, male ego fragility, respectability politics – things like that. I always put myself in the center of that to make those points, which I think were greatly missed when I first started writing. I think that society has changed quite a bit. People are more aware. People tell me a lot that I have always been “before my time.” I was writing about things before other people were talking about that; I was concerned about things before my generation seemed to be concerned about things. I wasn't “before my time.” I think it just seems that way to people who are late to the revolution, you know what I mean?

I retired from publishing in 2015, which was always the plan to do 10 years and retire. I was retired from my pen name and just from the business in general in 2015, I could focus on my business, my education and other things, my family. I came back to writing in 2020 over at Medium. The same friend that got me into the podcast, actually as the vice president of content over at Medium and was like, “Hey, we need some content.” I guess I’m his go-to content creator.

xoNecole: Can you expound on why you went back to your birth name versus your stage name?

EO: No, it was nothing to expound upon. I mean, writers have pen names. That’s like asking Diddy, why did he go by Sean? I didn't go back. I've always used that. Nobody was paying attention. I've never not been myself. Karrine Steffans wrote a certain kind of book for a certain kind of audience. She was invented for the urban audience, particularly. She was never meant to live more than 10 years. I have other pen names as well. I write under several names. So, the other ones are just nobody's business right now. Different pen names write different things. And Elisabeth isn’t my real name either. So you'll never know who I really am and you’ll never know what my real name is, because part of being a writer is, for me at least, keeping some sort of anonymity. Anything I do in entertainment is going to amass quite a bit because who I am as a person in my private life isn't the same a lot of times as who I am publicly.

xoNecole: I want to go back to when you published Confessions of a Video Vixen. We are now in this time where people are reevaluating how the media mistreated women in the spotlight in the 2000s, namely women like Britney Spears. So I’d be interested to hear how you feel about that period of your life and how you were treated by the media?

EO: What I said earlier. I think that much of society has evolved quite a bit. When you look back at that time, it was actually shocking how old-fashioned the thinking still was. How women were still treated and how they're still treated now. I mean, it hasn't changed completely. I think that especially for the audience, I think it was shocking for them to see a woman – a woman of color – not be sexually ashamed.

I hate being like other people. I don't want to do what anyone else is doing. I can't conform. I will not conform. I think in 2005 when Confessions was published, that attitude, especially about sex, was very upsetting. Number one, it was upsetting to the men, especially within urban and hip-hop culture, which is built on misogyny and thrives off of it to this day. And the women who protect these men, I think, you know, addressing a demographic that is rooted in trauma that is rooted in sexual shame, trauma, slavery of all kinds, including slavery of the mind – I think it triggered a lot of people to see a Black woman be free in this way.

I think it said a lot about the people who were upset by it. And then there were some in “crossover media,” a lot of white folks were upset too, not gonna lie. But to see it from Black women – Tyra Banks was really upset [when she interviewed me about Confessions in 2005]. Oprah wasn't mad [when she interviewed me]. As long as Oprah wasn’t mad, I was good. I didn't care what anybody else had to say. Oprah was amazing. So, watching Black women defend men, and Black women who had a platform, defend the sexual blackmailing of men: “If you don't do this with me, you won't get this job”; “If you don't do this in my trailer, you're going to have to leave the set”– these are things that I dealt with.

I just happened to be the kind of woman who, because I was a single mother raising my child all by myself and never got any help at all – which I still don't. Like, I'm 24 in college – not a cheap college either – one of the best colleges in the country, and I'm still taking care of him all by myself as a 21-year-old, 20-year-old, young, single mother with no family and no support – I wasn’t about to say no to something that could help me feed my son for a month or two or three.

xoNecole: We are in this post-Me Too climate where women in Hollywood have come forward to talk about the powerful men who have abused them. In the music industry in particular, it seems nearly impossible for any substantive change or movement to take place within music. It's only now after three decades of allegations that R. Kelly has finally been convicted and other men like Russell Simmons continue to roam free despite the multiple allegations against him. Why do you think it's hard for the music industry to face its reckoning?

EO: That's not the music industry, that's urban music. That’s just Black folks who make music and nobody cares about that. That's the thing; nobody cares...Nobody cares. It's not the music industry. It's just an "urban" thing. And when I say "urban," I say that in quotations. Literally, it’s a Black thing, where nobody gives a shit what Black people do to Black people. And Russell didn't go on unchecked, he just had enough money to keep it quiet. But you know, anytime you're dealing with Black women being disrespected, especially by Black men, nobody gives a shit.

And Black people don't police themselves so it doesn't matter. Why should anybody care? And Black women don't care. They'll buy an R. Kelly album right now. They’ll stream that shit right now. They don’t care. So, nobody cares. Nobody cares. And if you're not going to police yourself, then nobody's ever going to care.

xoNecole: Do you have any regrets about anything you wrote or perhaps something you may have omitted?

EO: Absolutely not. No. There's nothing that I wish I would've gone back and said to myself, no. I don’t think at 20-something years old, I'm supposed to understand every little thing. I don't think the 20-something-year-old woman is supposed to understand the world and know exactly what she's doing. I think that one of my biggest regrets, which isn't my regret, but a regret, is that I didn't have better parents. Because a 20-something only knows what she knows based on what she’s seen and what she’s been taught and what she’s told. I had shitty parents and a horrible family. Just terrible. These people had no business having children. None of them. And a lot of our families are like that. And we may pass down those familial curses.

*This interview has been edited and condensed

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Feature image courtesy of Elisabeth Ovesen

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