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Bored All Of The Time? Here's What's Really Going On.

"Boredom is a pattern, not a reality." — Unknown

Inspiration

Anyone who has kids (or spends a lot of time around them) knows that there comes a time — usually at least a couple of times a week — when, out of nowhere, they will say, almost at a whiny pitch, "I'm bored." What's a trip about it is, if they are above the age of five and you ask them why, more times than not, they have absolutely no clue. All they know is things feel dull and tedious and they think it's up to you to figure out how to make their world more exciting again.


The interesting thing about boredom? It isn't something that folks grow out of. And personally, something that I've noticed is it's a feeling that many creatives and folks in long-term relationships tend to encounter quite a bit. And, like children, sometimes adults don't really get what the root cause of their own boredom is either. The problem with that is, if the feeling goes on for too long, they could find some not-the-best-idea ways to fill the void.

So, let's tackle this today, y'all. If you (or someone you know) seem to experience boredom, more than just sporadically, perhaps these following points can help you to get to the root of what keeps bringing you to that space.

1. Do You Know Your Purpose?

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Ask anyone who is clear that they are operating within their purpose and they will probably vouch for the fact that while there are days that some of the work that's required to reach a particular goal may be taxing or also while there may be times when they feel completely overwhelmed, it's damn near impossible to function within the framework of what you were created to do and feel bored at the same time. I can speak from personal experience that since I've been walking out my own purpose in life, I can't tell you the last time "bored" was a word that I've used.

So yeah, let's begin there. Do you know what your purpose is? If not, don't feel bad. A lot of people don't. I mean, A LOT of folks. How do you begin figuring out what yours is? What makes you happiest? What would you do, even if you couldn't get paid a lot for it? What complements your natural gifts and abilities the most? What could you die doing, knowing that you made a real contribution to this world? What does it feel like you were literally put on this planet to do? What brings your mind, body and spirit and collective sense of peace?

It's my belief that folks who aren't in their purpose tend to do some of the most reckless and nonsensical stuff in order to fill the void. After all, purpose is powerful. Once you know what yours is, it can keep you pretty preoccupied as a direct result. That's why I thought that this point was a really wise place to start (check out "5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose" when you get a chance too). If you don't know what your purpose is, it's almost a given that boredom would result from that.

2. Are You an Adrenaline Junkie?

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Here's the deal. Whenever you feel excited or afraid, there is a hormone that's released within your blood called adrenaline. Whenever that happens, your heart rate increases, your blood rate goes up, your breathing intensifies and you also feel a burst of energy. Some people like this feeling so much that they intentionally seek out activities that will make them feel this way — skydiving, ziplining, extreme sports, etc. It's believed by some mental health experts that this could also cause some folks to take up professions like law enforcement, firefighting and stunt work (because they also can give folks a similar rush). A nickname that a lot of these kinds of people get is adrenaline junkie.

While there is certainly nothing wrong with being an adrenaline junkie in theory, something that I am big on is balance and something that adulthood teaches us is that life isn't always gonna be thrills and spins. Sometimes, it's the tedious stuff that helps us to make the most progress. That said, you don't have enough time and I don't have enough writing space to get into the fact that some folks don't even know how to hold down a relationship unless they are creating situations that cultivate lots of excitement or plenty of drama; that is the kind of adrenaline highs that they seek. SMDH. Anyway, if you feel bored a lot, asking yourself if you are close to being addicted to experiencing adrenaline rushes could connect a few dots for you.

3. Do You Expect “Outside Sources” to Entertain You All of the Time?

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Recently, I spent some time with my goddaughters. The older one is 10. Her younger sister is two. I won't lie, to a certain extent, both of them seem to think that it's the adults' job to constantly entertain them; however, as I mentioned in the intro, we expect this from kids, right? They are still learning how to be their own friend and enjoy their own company.

Do you see where I am going with this? While I do think that extroverts probably struggle with this particular point a lot more an introverts and even ambiverts do, if you're someone who can't deal with the stillness of being alone or you're not able to enjoy doing things unless you've got a ton of people around you, you might wanna do some self-love journaling to figure out why that is the case. At the end of the day, it's not healthy to always feel like you need people always around you in order to function. If that is personally the case, chances are, there is something else going on, within, that needs to be addressed.

4. Are You Not Very Self-Aware?

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Now here's one that you might not have seen coming. How in the world can a lack of self-awareness (check out "These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily") play a direct role in how bored a person can end up being? The bottom line here is self-aware people know themselves pretty darn well. This doesn't just manifest in the sense of them being able to take responsibility for their actions, them being able to understand what they are feeling when they are feeling certain things and also being able to live in reality, it also means they know what fulfills them and also what makes them tick.

I'm an ambivert. I know this about myself. I also really like being alone at home. The rare moments when I do get bored, I know it's because I've gotten caught up in a routine that needs a little bit of breaking up. That's also what I know about myself. Something as simple as watching a movie, trying a new food or catching up on the phone with someone I haven't spoken with in a while can be all that I need. I know this because I've worked pretty hard to figure my own self out.

So yeah, if you're constantly feeling bored, ask yourself if you're in touch with what it means to be self-aware and if you actually know what your internal and external needs are. Being in touch with yourself, on a deep and profound level, can also help you to stay on top of what could cause you to fall into a boredom slump.

5. Do You Drink or Smoke Weed a Lot?

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Science has a lot of data to support the fact that when we're intoxicated, it can cause our brain to experience euphoria and/or excitement and/or confusion. The THC that's in marijuana can also produce a euphoric effect. While having a few drinks or lighting up one or two sometimes isn't a real cause for alarm, what you do need to be careful of is if you're relying on alcohol or weed (or both) to keep you from feeling bored. And if that is indeed the case…why so?

While my dad was alive, he was an on-again-off-again substance abuser. A big part of it is because his parents weren't very supportive when it came to his natural gift for football or music as he was growing up. And so, he drank and drugged his pain away. He also used it to pass the time because he was bored because he wasn't living out his full purpose (see how that works?). While this might be an extreme explanation for how boredom occurs, if you drink and/or smoke daily, it's definitely not something to simply sweep under the rug. It could be what you're using to "feel something" too.

6. Does Your Life Consist of Short- and Long-Term Goals?

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Former football coach Lou Holtz once said, "If you're bored with life – you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don't have enough goals." Welp. That about sums this particular point up. A great definition of a goal is "the result or achievement toward which effort is directed". A friend of mine and I sometimes discuss a friend that they have who lives life with absolutely no goals. At almost 40, this man has no steady employment, lives in someone's basement and owes all kinds of child support. At the same time, he's smart, witty and has a degree. Why doesn't he have is a set of goals? While growing up, charm got him so far that he never really focused on being ambitious. As a direct result, he spends a lot of time either feeling like he has no direction or being so bored out of his mind that he does stupid stuff (like sleeping around with random strangers or wasting money on alcohol) to pass the time.

Is he an extreme example of what having no goals will do? Perhaps. Still, if you're someone who doesn't have some clear goals for yourself, definitely allow him to serve as a cautionary tale in your life.

Short-term goals (goals that can be achieved within a 12-month time frame) are proven to give you focus, boost your self-esteem, inspire and motivate you and break bad habits like procrastination. Long-term goals can get you more excited about life, help you to make big changes in your world and strengthen your abilities and level of patience.

It's damn near impossible to not progress in life without goals. And you're sure to find yourself bored, more times than not, if you don't have some short- and long-term ones set in place too.

7. When’s the Last Time You Tried Something New?

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A wise person once said, "Make a habit of trying new things." There are several reasons why this can prove to be so beneficial. Trying new things can increase your confidence levels. Trying new things can make you less fearful. Trying new things can expand your perspective when it comes to how you see the world. Trying new things can encourage you to try other new things. And yes, trying new things can definitely be a great cure for boredom.

After all, one of the things that it means to be bored is to be someone who feels like you are doing the same ole' thing, day in and day out to the point where life feels like not much more than tedious repetition. Doing something new can help to break up the monotony and get you excited about life again.

So, set aside an hour or so and put together a quick bucket list of things that you would like to attempt that you never have before, whether it's a new kind of food, planning a trip to someplace you've never been or maybe even going on a blind date. The excitement alone can make it worth the effort — and definitely be the cure for boredom that you may have been looking for…all along.

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ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
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