I've always wanted to be the girl with the bubbly personality whose style and confidence takes over when she walks into a room. It has yet to happen and now I'm not really sure if it ever will. At most events, I'm the one who goes over to the corner and finds one person to connect with the whole time in hopes of not being the center of attention, while secretly craving for it (if that makes sense). The truth is, as much as I want to be that loveable extrovert, I'm really just an awkward introvert.
I've always struggled with being truly confident, whether it's posing for a picture I know will be put on social media or networking (which I really suck at), especially when I'm surrounded by people who aspire me and who have already seemingly conquered what I've always battled with. Still, while having that introvert status might make it more difficult to exemplify confidence, it can be done. It just takes a little extra work, even more so for us introverts. So, here's a quick guide to help us introverts get out of our comfort zone and be the confident woman we've always been in our heads.
Find Your Own Way To Network
Growing up, I always loved those ice breaker games we had to play in group meetings because it gave me an excuse to talk to someone else and it *drumroll please* broke the ice. You were able to discover who you had things in common with from shoe size to birthday month, and sometimes it started lifelong friendships. But now, we don't always have that teacher pushing us to get to know someone else, so it helps to have your own ice breakers ahead of time.
My usual go-to is a compliment. If I want to spark up a conversation with someone, I'll tell them something I like about their outfit. It not only gives room for both people to let their guard down, but it really does lead to some pretty cool discussions (for me, a lot of them have led to plans to go thrifting on a weekend). Another method is to find something you have in common. So many of my closest friendships started with one or both of us realizing we were alike in more ways than one. If all else fails, girl, just walk up to someone and say hi and introduce yourself. Hopefully, they'll be more of an extrovert and carry the conversation if any awkwardness arises. If not, at least you tried and can perfect your skills for next time.
Bring That Social Friend
If you're an introvert, chances are one, if not most or all, of your friends are super extroverted. If your friendships are like mine, then that's how you became friends to begin with. Most of my friends are in my life because they were brave enough to approach me first. If you need someone to help you network or break the ice at an event, there's nothing wrong with bringing a wing woman. Sometimes you just need that extra nudge to get yourself out there until you feel comfortable going to an event alone. (I have to say, I never really thought I'd be able to attend something solo until I moved to a new city where I hardly knew anyone.) As an introvert myself, I know that I tend to have friends who can not only pull out a more open and social side of me but can also tell me when I'm being rude or awkward, because they know I am unaware that I'm coming across that way. If you need that friend to help you work a room, that's completely okay. You'll realize as you start to get more out of your comfort zone, you'll be able to do it solo.
Practice In The Mirror
This might sound crazy, but it helps. If you really want to know how to walk into a room with confidence, one of the best ways is to literally see how you're doing it. You might not realize you have to put your shoulders back and walk straighter until you see yourself doing it in the mirror. Keep working on it until you really start feeling yourself enough ('cause you fine girl!) to keep that same energy when you walk into a room full of strangers. If you have to, put on Beyoncé, Rihanna, or whoever gets you right and makes you feel like you're the most beautiful person in the room, because you are, whether you're in the middle of it or not.
Just Be You
This one is really tough if you're on that journey to finding yourself. I know it was super difficult for me when people would tell me to be myself because the first question I would ask myself is, "And who is that exactly?" But deep down, all of us know who we are, and who we aren't. It just gets hazy in those times when we see those we admire socializing effortlessly and start to question where we went wrong and if we should be more like them. Nope, because there's only one you baby girl. Even if you are the one holding down the wall at a party, that just means you value personal conversation. But if you do have that urge to be in the spotlight and have eyes on you, just don't lose yourself trying to do it. Be you, and what's meant for you will come. The main idea is to be proud of who you are and embrace it.
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