

Being an introvert can definitely create lonely moments. Yes, we like to be alone a lot of times. In fact, that's often when we recharge and get back the energy we need to interact with others. Still, it can be a little scary to look around and realize no one else is there.
Instead of making the loneliness run even deeper by just sprawling out on the couch, we can be intentional about creating moments to help prevent it, to begin with. Bottom line, introverts get lonely too, and this is how we can fight it:
Be In The Moment When You’re Around Others
As introverts, most of us love to be in a room full of people, we just don't care to talk or interact all the time. We might look like we're bored and scrolling through social media wishing we were anywhere else but there. Yet in reality, we could be having a blast. It's all good and great until we end up in a room by ourselves and still feel like something is missing. Something that can help fight loneliness is to be in the moment when those people are around.
Even though we're introverted, we still thrive off of relationships and interaction just like everyone else. Something that has worked for me is to find someone to connect with one-on-one if you're uncomfortable addressing the whole group at a time. That will help you break the ice and slowly feel more at ease with interacting. You don't necessarily have to lead the group, but you can at least be a part of it. Then when you're by yourself, you'll more likely feel relief and peace rather than loneliness and wanting more.
Take A Break From Social Media
Because we might not express things verbally, we tend to let them simmer and fester on the inside, and scrolling on social media doesn't really help that. Looking at friends, family and even stranger's highlight reels can make us, or really anyone for that matter, focus inward and start to think that they aren't living their best life to the fullest. Coming across a snapshot of a group of people hanging out together might make you feel lonely and left out, but in reality, you might not have even desired to be there because you were perfectly fine having a quiet night at home.
Still, seeing other people do it has the power to make you feel like you're doing something wrong and you need to get out there to make friends so you can post those same kinds of photos. While it might be 100 percent true that you need to get out of your comfort zone, using social media as a foundation can be more detrimental than helpful.
Don’t Cancel Plans
I used to be really bad at this one. It happens when you're in this weird space between loneliness but not really feeling like being around anyone. Yes, that can exist. I remember being invited to someone's birthday party and as much as the idea of going sounded great, I didn't feel like it! I wanted to just stay home and chill. But because I was in high spirits when I accepted the invitation, I felt like I couldn't' cancel. And I didn't want to revert to the habit of not going places I was invited.
I ended up going and had so much fun. In the end, most of the time we're always glad we didn't cancel and decided to go through with any plans. Ultimately, that's what helps us fight those temptations to cancel. When we're lonely, it's ironically so easy to want to just be around ourselves yet want to be around others for security. We have to be careful not to let loneliness be the reason we flake out on friends who might be depending on us, or the opportunity to meet and establish new friendships.
Do Something Kind
It's crazy how being nice to someone else can get us out of our own little lonely funk. While we might be waiting for someone else to give us a pick-me-up by expressing kindness to us, it can be just as fulfilling (if not more) when we extend that kindness to someone else. I know it takes a lot to get out of our bubble and comfort zone to be intentional about showing kindness. It's not that we aren't kind, it's just figuring out a way to express it that can get murky.
Whether it's sending a thank-you card to someone or buying something you saw them admiring, acts of kindness can be a trick to getting out of loneliness. It's not to necessarily get something out of it, it just makes us get out of ourselves and our own heads.
Have A Goal For Getting Social
Setting a goal to have at least one social interaction with someone a day can make a major difference in kicking those lonely emotions. Doing things like meeting someone new or initiating a conversation with someone instead of being on the receiving end are just a couple of ways to having meaningful social interactions with others that can help keep us fulfilled.
These interactions don't always have to be with strangers, you can show your appreciation by interacting with those who are already in your life. If there's a friend who you don't talk to unless they call, make the move and call them first. If you're always getting invited but never doing the inviting, host a girl's night and invite your closest friends over. And while you're there, engage, be vulnerable and have fun!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert – Read More
I Had No Clue This Is What My Body Language Was Really Telling People About Me – Read More
How Periods Of Isolation Can Help You Heal & Evolve – Read More
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
A Celebration Of Black Voices: What You Missed At The 3rd Annual Black Effect Podcast Festival
Over the weekend, iHeart Radio held its third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival in Atlanta, attracting a star-studded lineup of personalities and shows. Charlamagne tha God, founder of the Black Effect podcast network was in attendance along with other notable personalities like Mandii B and Weezy WTF, the hosts of the popular Decisions, Decisions podcast, who also served as the festival's hosts.
Sarah Jakes Roberts, the esteemed pastor and host of Woman Evolve podcast, singers and co-hosts of the R&B Money podcast, Tank and J. Valentine, former NFL star and Funky Friday host Cam Newton and many more further rounded out the festivals' lineup.
The festival hosted panels that focused on mental health and the future of podcasting as well as many live shows. Good Moms, Bad Choices hosts, Erica and Milah, welcomed Dreka Gates and held a live dating show that was nothing short of hilarious. Naked Sports host Cari Champion sat down with Iman Shumpert and they discussed sports and dating.
Tank and J. Valentine surprised the audience with Jacquees, Cam had a live conversation with Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams, and Sarah closed out the festival with reality star Toya Johnson. Check out photos from the festival below:
(L-R) Shawn Bethea, Jay Barnett, Devi Brown, Charlamagne tha God and Amber Grimes
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Jamilah Mapp, Dreka Gates and Erica Dickerson
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Mandii B and Weezy WTF
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Porsha Williams and Cam Newton
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Iman Shumpert and Cari Champion
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Tank, Jacquees and J. Valentine
Photo by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Derek White/Getty Images for iHeartMedia and The Black Effect Podcast Network