15 Lit Sex Scenes That Showcase Black Love At Its Finest
You gotta love Black love, especially when it's shown in its full, hot, sticky, magical lusciousness on the big screen through Black sex scenes. When we see ourselves loving on one another in ways that are passionate and real, we get the feels, not just because it's great to fantasize about replicating in real life---but because it humanizes our experiences and showcases a side of us that's not always fighting, suffering, or traumatized.
The memories of classic Black sex scenes on film and TV live forever. Here are 15 Black sex scenes to take you back and reignite the love and passion in your life:
'Moonlight'
When Kevin and Chiron shared their first kiss, validating feelings they'd had for each other and taking unspoken bonds to the next level, it was passionate and endearing. Kevin then pleasured Chiron via a hand job, which is another act of endearment that further solidified a gift of freedom in sexual identity that they could not fully reveal in their everyday lives. That scene from the 2016 Academy Award-winning film reminded us all of our own first time with a deep crush or connection from our teen years.
'The Photograph'
You gotta love a story of instant attraction between two creatives, and Micheal and Mae don't disappoint in this film. The journalist and art curator (respectively) enjoy a steamy romp during a New York City rainstorm, reminding us all how deliciously fun having a storm bae can be. And the fact that their love has a backdrop of Mae's mother's affair with the father she never knew adds that much more allure. (A close second in the favorite love scene category for this film is the one with her mother and father in 1980s New Orleans enjoying their first time to Luther Vandross and Cheryl Lynn's "If This World Were Mine.")
'Belly'
You've got thug-loving at its finest in this scene, and DMX showed us that doggy style means more than just barking in a rap song. Though his character in the film, Tommy Buns, had a very toxic relationship with his live-in bae Kiesha, played by the beautiful Taral Hicks, this scene made us all---OK maybe just me---think back on that one street dude you had to let go but who could have you climbing the walls and answering his calls a little longer than you should have.
'School Daze'
Tisha Campbell played Jane Toussaint, an HBCU student, and leader of the Gamma Rays, a social group that supported the fictional fraternity in the film, Gamma Phi Gamma. The frat's leader, Julian, was her bae (played by Giancarlo Esposito). There's a spicy scene in the film where the two take a break from stepping, party-planning, and being messy to get their freak on. Speaking of freaky, Jane goes as far as licking Julian's parted haircut, giving a whole new meaning to fetishes among undergrads. (When my girls and I saw this film for the first time as college freshmen, some were totally grossed out, others argued the feminist implications of a young woman doing such a thing, and the rest---including me---wondered whether there was indeed a fruit-flavored hair oil on the market for ... nevermind.
'Sylvie's Love'
This film, set in the 1960s, gives Carmen Jones vibes with a bit of edge. When Sylvie meets saxophonist Robert, it's love at first sight on a Harlem street, and things get much more sensual and romantic. Their first time making love is on a rooftop, and then they meet up again, years later, at New York's iconic Plaza Hotel. What adds to the appeal of the sex scenes between the two is the legendary jazz and R&B soundtrack and the nostalgic style of lingerie Sylvie wears, providing inspo for all of us to role play and get into a few 60s-inspired pieces ourselves.
'She's Gotta Have It'
We are so here for artist Nola, who identifies as a polyamorous bisexual, and her relationships with men and women that include wonderfully entertaining escapades in her "loving bed." One major relationship was the one she had with Opal, a single mother and a horticulturalist. The two explore not only physical awareness and intimacy but a deep personal connection, leading Nola to rethink her life and consider settling down. Good sex will do that to ya!
'Jason's Lyric'
When blue-collar Jason (played by Allen Payne) wanted to take Lyric (played by Jada Pinkett-Smith) out of the Houston hood and into a new life of love and infinite possibilities, we'd already fallen for him. When he commandeered a whole city bus to take her on a date, we swooned. But when we saw his chiseled back and hairy man-parts putting in work with Lyric in a field of lilac flowers, we all wet our panties and reconsidered giving that hard-working brotha at the Radio Shack a chance. (Go ahead, sis. Don't be ashamed. You know you did.)
'The Skinny'
This indie film is about a group of friends from Brown University who travel together for a weekend filled with drama, sex, and revelations. Especially sexy and sultry are the exchanges between Magnus and his boyfriend Ryan, including long, deep kissing sessions and lots of deep stroking.
'Love Jones'
This is, without a doubt, a classic favorite, and Darius Lovehall (played by the never-aging-a-day-in-his-life Larenz Tate) awakened the sapiosexual in all of us with his sensual wordplay and intellectual prowess during house-party debates. But when he and Nina Mosley (played by another actress who proves that Black indeed doesn't crack, Nia Long) finally hit the sheets, it was more than a sight for sore eyes. Add Maxwell's "Somethin' Somethin'" remix laying the vibes for lovemaking and you've got the peak to a love story that just made us all wish we had a writer boyfriend to be the "blues" in our "left thigh trying to become the funk" in our "right." Yas! That's all right!
'Power'
Flexing muscles just always does something to me, and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) knew just how to do that while stroking the living daylights out of Tasha (Naturi Naughton). Half the time I didn't care that it was often angry make-up sex between the hubby-and-wife crime duo because, TBH, seeing a strong Black man with a coin---and clearly great gym form---getting it on was always fine by me. The determination on his face, the multiple positions, and the look of bliss at the end of almost every scene...whew chile! Just go ahead and rewind again. We won't be mad.
'Insecure'
Issa Rae reminds us all that everyday women---even us awkward girls---can get our rocks off on the regular, and enjoy sex with some fine men to boot. From your usual comfy-couple sex on the couch with Lawrence (Jay Ellis), her soon-to-be ex, to crazy studio rendezvous with her rebound guy Daniel (Y'lan Noel), it's all about normalizing the dynamics of sex beyond love-story fairy tales and into the realm of IRL ish.
'Do the Right Thing'
Spike Lee sheds light on baby mama drama---and the love in between---as Mookie, who absolutely frustrates his boo Tina (Rosie Perez) throughout the whole film. Despite the arguments, the two end up having a playful sensual escapade. Mookie pulled out the ice trays---and got the side-eye from their son's caretaker, Tina's own mom---to give the both of them much-needed relief from the NYC heat. The dripping cubes-on-nipples action was something I probably shouldn't have been watching at the young age I was when I saw this movie for the first time, but as a grown woman, I can appreciate the combo of frozen treats and laughter to make relationship frustrations disappear.
'Baby Boy'
Now, some of you might fight me on this one, but who didn't didn't want to "make the tacos" for somebody after watching that scene? (And this movie has another hot love scene contender in Ving Rhames (who played Melvin) when he blessed Jody's mom, Juanita (A.J. Johnson), with a little standing froggy-style action.) I know, I know: Baby daddy-baby mama drama at its finest. You can't deny, though, that this scene was one to re-watch and that it was refreshing to see a young couple work through their issues to find common ground and holy matrimony in the end.
'Bessie'
Queen Latifah shines as one of the foremothers of blues, Bessie Smith, and in the film, she shares beautiful moments with her friend and lover, Lucille. The vulnerability and flirtatious exchanges between the two add an extra enchantment to watching this major part of the singer's life unfold through film.
'Creed'
Michael B. Jordan. Need I say more? OK, I'll go on. His character in the film, Adonis, falls in love with Bianca, a hearing-impaired singer-songwriter played by Tessa Thompson. In one scene, the two gain an understanding and connection via music and have a meeting of minds in how they'll both overcome inner demons to reach their life and career goals. Who doesn't love a man who can accept and love all of you? And again, Michael B. Jordan. 'Nuff said.
Featured Image Gif via Buzzfeed
Originally published on March 5, 2020
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
GiphyAbout five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
GiphySociety is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
GiphyThe reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
Giphy“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
GiphyOkay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
GiphyAs we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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