At only 15 years old, Naturi Naughton entered the entertainment industry with hopes of becoming a household name, and like most child stars, faced her fair share of trauma before she was even legally able to drink. But despite all of the public drama she had faced in the past, Naturi said that nothing could have prepared her for the heartbreak she's experienced over the past 24 months.
What doesn't kill you will teach you one hell of a lesson, and in an open letter recently by published by ESSENCE, Naturi said she learned this firsthand after the birth of her daughter.
"My ex and I broke up three months after our daughter, Zuri, was born. I was devastated. I didn't tell anybody about our breakup for two years, because I was embarrassed and ashamed."
The songwriter explained that along with learning that suffering in silence is no good for anyone, she also was forced to confront some of the fears that she had previously been able to hide from. Although her dreams of being a perfect wife and mother were seemingly being snatched away before her eyes, she also realized that seeing God's vision for your life is all about being able to shift your perspective. She wrote:
"I had to put the picture-perfect fantasy aside so that I could focus on finding the right life, the right relationship and the right kind of happiness—for me."
Ultimately, Naturi says that she was able to garner the courage to walk away from what she thought she wanted by prioritizing her needs instead.
"That's another valuable lesson I've learned. I made a difficult choice to end a relationship because I had to put my own needs first."
Demanding what you deserve is a superpower, one that Naturi says should be utilized in every area of your life.
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"You know in your heart when you're not happy and when you're feeling undervalued. As soon as you realize that you are settling or conceding your worth, you have to make a move. Check-in with yourself and say, 'Wait a minute. Is this what I want? Is this who I really am?'"
The actress shared that over the past two years of her life, she's learned that selflessness can sometimes be dysfunctional. It's easy to get so wrapped up in caring for others that you forget to care for yourself, but that's all bad, sis. You can't fill from an empty cup, and according to Naturi, you can't love from a place where you don't feel loved:
"As a woman and a young mother, I've learned that we should never compromise our happiness for anyone, especially in a relationship. Women are used to sacrificing for others, and sometimes that selflessness becomes dysfunctional."
After seeing a spiritual advisor and a therapist, Naturi is finally back to being the woman of her dreams, and she says that it's all thanks to being able to check in with herself. The actress says while some days still require a lot of prayer, she is booked and busy and ready for her blessing, honey:
"I'm not going to lie. There are good days and bad days, but one thing I know for sure is that I'm doing my best. God has really blessed me. Even when I didn't see it, He was blessing me. I now see that when I thought I was losing something, God was just opening up a door for something new and better to come into my life."
Today, the 35-year-old entertainer is on a mission to bring sexy single motherhood all the way back, recently bought her first home and is even dating again. Naturi says that although she didn't get her fairytale right the first time, she's certainly seen her fair share of dreams come true because of it.
"Being a single mother doesn't have to mean you're unhappy. I didn't get married, and I don't have a fairy-tale love story (yet), but I'm stronger than ever and having fun too."
Along with patience, Naturi says that tolerance has also been a major factor in her journey to healing. And she has a piece of advice for women who may feel hopeless in seeking their own happily ever after:
"I've also learned what I will and will not accept. I won't just jump into a relationship because I may feel lonely or want companionship. Ladies, it's so important to seek your own happiness first, then, when the time is right, get into a relationship that nurtures you. Be patient, sis. It will come to you. And you deserve it."
Read Naturi's full letter here!
Featured image by lev radin / Shutterstock.com
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Do Essences Actually Work? What I Wish More Beauty Brands Explained
The idea of using it seems relaxing at times. How beauty gurus gently place essence on their skin looks like a relaxing experience. Still, no one ever explains what it truly does. Even most essence products typically don’t define their purpose. They usually highlight a key ingredient to draw consumers, like me, to purchase the product. This has often tempted me, but I couldn't point out its purpose.
These are the moments I wish essence products were more transparent than the item itself.
Why I Chose The Ordinary's Multi-Active Delivery Essence
The Ordinary has always been on my radar to try. Their products are affordable, and if I’m being honest, someone on my For You page is always raving about them. When they came out with an essence, I knew it was perfect timing. I received the item to find its purpose, and the number one detail I’ve always looked for.
Labeled at the front of the bottle, Multi-Active Delivery Essence states that it is a hydrating essence that helps prime the skin for better skincare penetration. It’s a small detail that allowed me to understand its intention and put it to the test fully.
How To Use The Ordinary’s Hydrating Essence For Glowing Skin
I applied the essence before skincare, as recommended. According to their website, the hydrating essence is supposed to provide intense moisture. They compare it to their Niacinamide 10% Zinc 1% product. This sets the foundation for hydration to last longer on the skin and for skincare products to penetrate deeply, allowing the skin to have a brighter, luminous appearance.
My Skin After: A Natural Glow and Long-Lasting Hydration
Once I applied the essence to my skin, I began using my skincare. I figured mixing my serums with the product would be an excellent way for them to penetrate deeper, as promised in the descriptions. Once my serums had settled in, I followed up with a moisturizer to lock everything in and SPF to add some protection. I noticed my skin lay more smoothly. It was clear that incorporating the essence and letting things settle helped to create a natural glow.
Throughout the day, I monitored how my skin would react. As someone with dry skin, I sometimes have to reapply sunscreen or moisturizer to keep the hydration flowing. I didn’t feel the need to reapply since I had used the essence earlier that day. My skin maintained hydration, creating a luminous glow throughout the day.
This was a perfect situation for me, since long-lasting hydration can sometimes be a challenge for me.
Final Thoughts: Is This Essence Worth It for Dry Skin Types?
This product works perfectly for dry to standard skin types. However, I’m unsure if the experience will be as pleasurable for those with oily skin. The level of hydration that increases over time can become overwhelming for oily skin and might even lead to a breakout or two.
If you want to try it, I say go for it! The gift of beauty is that there is no limit to what you can play with.
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