Naturi Naughton Proves What Doesn’t Kill You Will Teach You One Helluva Lesson
At only 15 years old, Naturi Naughton entered the entertainment industry with hopes of becoming a household name, and like most child stars, faced her fair share of trauma before she was even legally able to drink. But despite all of the public drama she had faced in the past, Naturi said that nothing could have prepared her for the heartbreak she's experienced over the past 24 months.
What doesn't kill you will teach you one hell of a lesson, and in an open letter recently by published by ESSENCE, Naturi said she learned this firsthand after the birth of her daughter.
"My ex and I broke up three months after our daughter, Zuri, was born. I was devastated. I didn't tell anybody about our breakup for two years, because I was embarrassed and ashamed."
The songwriter explained that along with learning that suffering in silence is no good for anyone, she also was forced to confront some of the fears that she had previously been able to hide from. Although her dreams of being a perfect wife and mother were seemingly being snatched away before her eyes, she also realized that seeing God's vision for your life is all about being able to shift your perspective. She wrote:
"I had to put the picture-perfect fantasy aside so that I could focus on finding the right life, the right relationship and the right kind of happiness—for me."
Ultimately, Naturi says that she was able to garner the courage to walk away from what she thought she wanted by prioritizing her needs instead.
"That's another valuable lesson I've learned. I made a difficult choice to end a relationship because I had to put my own needs first."
Demanding what you deserve is a superpower, one that Naturi says should be utilized in every area of your life.
lev radin / Shutterstock.com
"You know in your heart when you're not happy and when you're feeling undervalued. As soon as you realize that you are settling or conceding your worth, you have to make a move. Check-in with yourself and say, 'Wait a minute. Is this what I want? Is this who I really am?'"
The actress shared that over the past two years of her life, she's learned that selflessness can sometimes be dysfunctional. It's easy to get so wrapped up in caring for others that you forget to care for yourself, but that's all bad, sis. You can't fill from an empty cup, and according to Naturi, you can't love from a place where you don't feel loved:
"As a woman and a young mother, I've learned that we should never compromise our happiness for anyone, especially in a relationship. Women are used to sacrificing for others, and sometimes that selflessness becomes dysfunctional."
After seeing a spiritual advisor and a therapist, Naturi is finally back to being the woman of her dreams, and she says that it's all thanks to being able to check in with herself. The actress says while some days still require a lot of prayer, she is booked and busy and ready for her blessing, honey:
"I'm not going to lie. There are good days and bad days, but one thing I know for sure is that I'm doing my best. God has really blessed me. Even when I didn't see it, He was blessing me. I now see that when I thought I was losing something, God was just opening up a door for something new and better to come into my life."
Today, the 35-year-old entertainer is on a mission to bring sexy single motherhood all the way back, recently bought her first home and is even dating again. Naturi says that although she didn't get her fairytale right the first time, she's certainly seen her fair share of dreams come true because of it.
"Being a single mother doesn't have to mean you're unhappy. I didn't get married, and I don't have a fairy-tale love story (yet), but I'm stronger than ever and having fun too."
Along with patience, Naturi says that tolerance has also been a major factor in her journey to healing. And she has a piece of advice for women who may feel hopeless in seeking their own happily ever after:
"I've also learned what I will and will not accept. I won't just jump into a relationship because I may feel lonely or want companionship. Ladies, it's so important to seek your own happiness first, then, when the time is right, get into a relationship that nurtures you. Be patient, sis. It will come to you. And you deserve it."
Read Naturi's full letter here!
Featured image by lev radin / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
Courtesy
Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
Courtesy
Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
Courtesy
Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy