At only 15 years old, Naturi Naughton entered the entertainment industry with hopes of becoming a household name, and like most child stars, faced her fair share of trauma before she was even legally able to drink. But despite all of the public drama she had faced in the past, Naturi said that nothing could have prepared her for the heartbreak she's experienced over the past 24 months.
What doesn't kill you will teach you one hell of a lesson, and in an open letter recently by published by ESSENCE, Naturi said she learned this firsthand after the birth of her daughter.
"My ex and I broke up three months after our daughter, Zuri, was born. I was devastated. I didn't tell anybody about our breakup for two years, because I was embarrassed and ashamed."
The songwriter explained that along with learning that suffering in silence is no good for anyone, she also was forced to confront some of the fears that she had previously been able to hide from. Although her dreams of being a perfect wife and mother were seemingly being snatched away before her eyes, she also realized that seeing God's vision for your life is all about being able to shift your perspective. She wrote:
"I had to put the picture-perfect fantasy aside so that I could focus on finding the right life, the right relationship and the right kind of happiness—for me."
Ultimately, Naturi says that she was able to garner the courage to walk away from what she thought she wanted by prioritizing her needs instead.
"That's another valuable lesson I've learned. I made a difficult choice to end a relationship because I had to put my own needs first."
Demanding what you deserve is a superpower, one that Naturi says should be utilized in every area of your life.
lev radin / Shutterstock.com
"You know in your heart when you're not happy and when you're feeling undervalued. As soon as you realize that you are settling or conceding your worth, you have to make a move. Check-in with yourself and say, 'Wait a minute. Is this what I want? Is this who I really am?'"
The actress shared that over the past two years of her life, she's learned that selflessness can sometimes be dysfunctional. It's easy to get so wrapped up in caring for others that you forget to care for yourself, but that's all bad, sis. You can't fill from an empty cup, and according to Naturi, you can't love from a place where you don't feel loved:
"As a woman and a young mother, I've learned that we should never compromise our happiness for anyone, especially in a relationship. Women are used to sacrificing for others, and sometimes that selflessness becomes dysfunctional."
After seeing a spiritual advisor and a therapist, Naturi is finally back to being the woman of her dreams, and she says that it's all thanks to being able to check in with herself. The actress says while some days still require a lot of prayer, she is booked and busy and ready for her blessing, honey:
"I'm not going to lie. There are good days and bad days, but one thing I know for sure is that I'm doing my best. God has really blessed me. Even when I didn't see it, He was blessing me. I now see that when I thought I was losing something, God was just opening up a door for something new and better to come into my life."
Today, the 35-year-old entertainer is on a mission to bring sexy single motherhood all the way back, recently bought her first home and is even dating again. Naturi says that although she didn't get her fairytale right the first time, she's certainly seen her fair share of dreams come true because of it.
"Being a single mother doesn't have to mean you're unhappy. I didn't get married, and I don't have a fairy-tale love story (yet), but I'm stronger than ever and having fun too."
Along with patience, Naturi says that tolerance has also been a major factor in her journey to healing. And she has a piece of advice for women who may feel hopeless in seeking their own happily ever after:
"I've also learned what I will and will not accept. I won't just jump into a relationship because I may feel lonely or want companionship. Ladies, it's so important to seek your own happiness first, then, when the time is right, get into a relationship that nurtures you. Be patient, sis. It will come to you. And you deserve it."
Read Naturi's full letter here!
Featured image by lev radin / Shutterstock.com
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The Industry star has two peg lateral teeth, which are small, pointy teeth that are located on each side of the upper front teeth. While there may be some people who don’t understand her decision to keep her natural smile, Colgate recognizes its beauty and has partnered with the 28-year-old. Myha’la opens up about the exciting partnership in a xoNecole exclusive.
“So, it was actually quite funny this came through for me, and I was like, Huh? Okay, And they were like, well, they're doing this new campaign. It's all about celebrating your unique smile. And I was like, how did they know?” She laughs.
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
“I have two peg lateral teeth. They're these tiny little teeth in the front. They're my adult teeth, but they're small. They're like, you know, an abnormal tooth, and lots of people have them and sometimes they're asymmetrical. A lot of people get them capped or filled or whatever. And so many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile.”
She calls her Colgate partnership a “perfect pairing” and stresses how important it is for her to always look like herself and take care of her teeth. The Leave the World Behind actress is one of the many people in her generation leading the charge for self-love and advocating for themselves. Thanks to millennials and Gen Z, we are now having more conversations about mental health and self-care while challenging the status quo.
"So many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile."
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
Myha’la explains why it’s necessary to appreciate our differences rather than give in to society’s standards of what is considered beautiful. “I'm so here for it. I'm so here for it because I said this earlier, but it was something I was thinking about that I was like, oh this is kind of a lightbulb moment for me. I feel like we are so desperate to feel accepted and like a part of something, and that translates into how we present ourselves to the world,” she says.
“So people are like, oh, I want to have really white teeth or really uniform teeth or whatever so that I can look like everyone else. But us as human beings... all of us are completely different, like down to a biological level. So really, the things that like makes us a part of a whole is our uniqueness. The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are.”
Another positive Myha’la shares about being unique (cues Beyoncé) is saving money because, according to her, “I'm not trying to spend all this money so that I can look like somebody else because the thing that people love the most about me is me.”
"The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are."
Myha'la Herrold attends the UK Special screening of 'Leave The World Behind.'
Dave Benett/WireImage
Myha’la’s confidence is also reflected in her work as an actress. Currently, she stars as Harper Stern in the HBO Max series Industry, which is about a group of recent graduates competing for coveted permanent roles at an esteemed investment bank in London. Harper is intelligent, tenacious, and the one to watch. However, her hunger to be successful keeps her on the outs with her peers, and her family trauma keeps her very guarded.
The rising star has this to say about her Industry character. “I would just remind her, like, remember what got you here,” she says. “You were unabashedly yourself. You let these people know that you were the best and the brightest and what you had to offer, that they needed that, so I would just say remember that. Do that ‘cause it worked the first time.”
Whether you love her or hate her, Harper is a force, but unfortunately, in the season two finale, her ambition left her in a predicament that has put her career in a place of uncertainty. While Myha’la can’t give away season three’s plot, she does share what she hopes for her character.
“What I will say is I hope that Harper gets what she wants. I hope she gets what she wants. I'm always rooting for her,” she says.
“I feel like Harper is my good sis, and I'm like, girl, if you would just listen to me one time, things might go different for you. But what I hope is that she gets what she wants because I feel like it's like past due. We need a win for her.”
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Featured image by Irvin Rivera/Getty Images for IMDb
