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Cassie's Pregnancy Announcement Is A Reminder Of The Good Found In Goodbye
I was in a loveless relationship, having the worst sex of my life with a man I wanted to marry. Yes, you read that right.
I spent three years of my life trying to progress a relationship that was never meant to be my forever, but I was persistent in my pursuit to meet him at the altar because, well, I thought that was what you were supposed to do in a long-term relationship. My fear of missing out on being a wife with a dog and a white picket fence led me to stay in a toxic relationship that sabotaged us both. I loved him just because he was there, until one day I looked up, and he wasn't anymore.
It wasn't until two years after grieving and mourning the love that once was that I learned that my fairy tale ending could still be a reality, it's just that sometimes, you don't get the fairy tale right the first time. The brokenness I felt when that relationship saw its final curtain call did not define me, but it did teach me a lesson in the power of my choices. I think every woman comes to a crossroads in her life when she has to be clear about her intentions.
Ultimately, I had to decide what I wanted more: the fairy tale or the man, and in the end, I chose myself.
I've never met Cassie, and although I'm sure she's a dope individual, I can't speculate on what has or has not happened in her love life. What I can say is, it's a beautiful thing when a woman can become selfish enough about her own needs to find the good in goodbye.
Last night, Cassie and her baby zaddy/celebrity personal trainer, Alex Fine, announced that they would be welcoming a bouncing baby girl to the world with social media posts that broke the internet. The couple made their relationship public late last year and now only six months later, they're officially taking the first steps in becoming the Family Fine. While their heartwarming announcement sparked an emotional response that had Black Twitter in tears, it also sparked a debate about Cassie's previous relationship with Diddy.
While some praised the soon-to-be mom for moving on from a fruitless relationship and finding true love, others criticized Diddy for being a "waste of time" and an example for men who can't get their sh*t together, causing them to miss out on the one who "got away".
But, I would like to personally submit a request to the Black Coalition of Social Media Users that we leave Diddy out of this, mind the business that pays us, and just say congrats.
Cassie was never publicly critical of her relationship with her former lover, so why should we be? When a woman's ready to bust a move, she'll move, and Cassie did exactly that after she and Diddy's nearly 10-year relationship. It's quite possible that Cassie never wanted to get married or have a family with Diddy because being in a long-term relationship isn't enough to qualify a man as marriage material, sis.
Some users speculated that the couple's relationship has moved relatively fast, but when you know, you know; and judging by the articulately captioned posts by Cassie's bull riding boothang, it wasn't hard to tell.
Although we haven't gotten to the chance to catch a glimpse of Cassie's belly full of baby just yet, Alex captioned the announcement with open letters that will give you all the feels. In a public message to his unborn child, he apologized in advance for embarrassing forehead kisses at school dropoffs and his adamant disproval of potential suitors. He wrote:
"I will be the first man in your life and will show you the greatest love and affection now and forever. I never thought my heart could grow bigger after meeting your mother... then I found out we were having you and I instantly felt a love that is so indescribable. I promise to be at every dance recital, concert, sporting event, school plays whatever you decide to do I will be there and support you. I am your number one fan.I promise to be a man that you and your mother look up to and love. I will always listen and put the both of you first.I will show you a healthy relationship and how you deserve to be treated."
That part.
I don't hate my ex. I hope he finds great sex, a relationship overflowing with love, and ultimately gets his storybook ending one day, too. For now, I'm just happy for the lessons I learned during the process that prepared me to be a wife with a dog and a white picket fence one day, but only when the vision is right. Sometimes we don't get the fairytale right the first time, but take a page out of Cassie's book. Dust yourself off, sis, and try again with new intentions.
Now, can somebody tell Ciara and Cassie to step into this prayer closet and put an anointing on my life please, cause I need that scripture, sis.
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."