It really is interesting how the Universe works. Just yesterday afternoon, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who was excited to tell me that, after several years of dating, two of his friends not only decided to get engaged, they are planning to get married before 2020 rolls around. Chile, you already know, with this way this year has been moving, that's like them saying that they're basically getting married tomorrow. Anyway, little did I know that it was probably right around that conversation that Cassie was doin' the damn thing herself by making it official with the man she just got engaged to, and we wrote about, almost a month to the day—Mr. Alex Fine.
When I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and saw the news about it, shoot, everywhere, I did what I'm sure thousands of others have at this point. I headed on over to her IG to see what she had posted. At the time that I'm writing this, since she announced her engagement, honestly, there hasn't been much. I mean, there's literally been three pictures. A dope casual one of her overlooking the ocean at sunset, a black-and-white shot of her and her beloved and, a picture that appears to be a portrait of Cassie and Alex using water as a bedsheet (that last one is what she posted yesterday). But no wedding announcement. No wedding pics (one of their friends posted the feature shot you see; that's how we know that it went down).
And to tell you the truth, that makes me like Cassie and Alex even more; they're too busy being into each other and actually living life to be out here constantly posting on the gram. Good for them. Really.
And while I could get into a media version of connect the dots (at least based on what we think that we know about Cassie's journey) or I could low-key troll to see what—eh hem—others have to say about this new season in her life, personally, I think all of that is totally unnecessary. I say that because there is a Jewish tradition called a mikveh. It's the act of immersing yourself in water to symbolize a new season in your life. Some Jews do it right before they get married. I dig the concept. To me, wedding days should be seen this way. It really doesn't matter what happened before you and the one you decide to commit your lives to have experienced. If you were paying close attention, it all prepared you for the moment when you look into each other's eyes and pledge to become one with each other. Everything prior to that is…fodder. Kinda irrelevant too. Because relevancy speaks to purpose. Your wedding day signifies a renewal and a purpose that requires leaving so much of who you were and what you did…behind.
Still, the reason why I wanted to shout Cassie and Alex out, just one-more-time-again, is because of something that Alex actually shared earlier this summer on his Instagram page. It was on June 12, to be exact:
"Letter to Cassie
"I promise you that I will do every single thing in my power to support you and help you. I promise that you will never be alone.I promise that you will be loved beyond expectation and we will show our children how to be in a healthy relationship. I promise to always come home with a great attitude and give our children and you undivided attention. I promise to always keep you and the child first nothing comes before you.
"I promise you will be showered in kisses and hugs every single day. I promise that I will be the best father/baby daddy. You two are my greatest loves I have and will ever have. I cannot wait for the rest of our lives together and to raise a beautiful happy child in our beautiful happy life."
Yes Alex. Beautiful Alex. We totally support you on this, Alex.
If you've ever read any article that I've written on celebrity news, I try my best to use them as teachable moments; to find ways to apply whatever I'm covering to our own lives. On the day following Cassie's wedding day, here are three takeaways that I hope we keep in mind in the midst of our own love journeys.
A man of his word is a man you can trust. A man you can trust is a man you can respect. A man you can respect is a man you can love—and shouldn’t be afraid to commit to.
I try my best to put the disclaimer in that we don't know what famous people have going on behind closed doors. All we know is what they tell us and what others have to think about it. But I will say that when I looked at Cassie, all beautiful in her wedding dress (I really dig the veil, Mrs. Fine), the part where Alex said, "I promise that you will never be alone" in his summer post did indeed come to mind. He just asked her to marry him on August 27, y'all. They got married on September 25. He didn't just say, "I mean, let's see how this thing goes" or "Let's just enjoy being engaged for a while". Alex solidified his promise with a lifelong commitment. At the same time, Cassie didn't hesitate to oblige. It's easy to just…move forward when trust, respect and love—all three, not just one—are in place.
If you're currently seeing someone and you desire to be married, please make sure that this winning combo is a part of your own relationship. That you can trust him and he can trust you. That you can respect him and he can respect you. That you love him and he loves you—and that there are actions to back up those three important words.
This brings me to my next point.
When men know, they know. And they move based on what they know.
I'm a marriage life coach, so I talk to married couples a lot. Of the healthy and happy ones that I've talked to, something that the husbands have always told me is they knew; they knew their wife was the one. And because they knew, they didn't want to drag their feet. They didn't need her to give them ultimatums. They weren't interested in long and drawn out engagements either.
Although I think a lot of people sleep on the benefits of eloping or having a small wedding, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with a having a big ceremony or taking the time that's needed to plan (and pay) for one. What I am saying is most marriage counselors, therapists and coaches will tell you that if you're engaged for longer than two years, that's something to really think long and hard about. An engagement should speak to the intention of getting married; not eventually but sooner than later. And if two people truly want to marry one another, why wait?
It's just my personal take on things, but whenever a single man, who's in a relationship, tells me that he's thinking about proposing, the two things that I say is, "Make sure you can pay for your ring upfront" (you'd be amazed how many wives are still paying on their own engagement ring because their husband financed it, fell on hard times and how she's having to pay it off) and "If you're not ready to say 'I do' within the year…wait."
We know that Alex was "'bout it" because it took—and by "took" what I really mean is wasted—no time. Cassie being his fiancée wasn't enough for him. He was on a mission to make her his wife.
Let God write your love story.
Oh, please believe that I get asked often if I ever get weary from being a never-been-married-before single woman and dealing with marriage so much. Not really because 1) being a marriage life coach has shown me a side of marriage that a lot of singles don't get to see; it has made me look at it from a much more realistic perspective and 2) I don't want someone else's love story; I want my own. How ever many chapters it needs to have, so be it.
You know, a quote that I really like is, "Your love story is different from those you watch in movies. Movies were written by screenwriters. Yours was written by God." If you're currently single and reading this, while you might be tempted to secretly envy Cassie, I'm going to encourage you not to do that. Be happy for her love story. Also, stay positive and excited about your own. Literally, this time last year, Cassie's life was very, very different. Your story is still being written. Simply relax and play your part (try not to do your own "editing" either. He knows best).
As for Mr. and Mrs. Fine, I couldn't be happier. Promises keep being made. Promises keep being fulfilled. Just how love should be. From the entire xoTribe, congrats and blessings upon blessings to you both. Keep enjoying the chapters of your own very special love story.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Sooo...Do You Want A Marriage? Or Just A Wedding?
Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'
You REALLY Want To Get Married. Why Is That?
Before You Marry Him, Check Out His Relationships With Other Folks
Feature image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Mark's Club
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
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Feature image by Peter Dazeley/ Getty Images