I have to admit, I'm not someone who obsesses over or relies heavily on celebrity hook-ups, marriages, and love stories as a guide for my own relationships, considering the fact that their lifestyles are quite different from mine. Not to mention, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors -- whether they're famous or not.
However, we're often reminded of the fact that celebrities are human beings just like us. At times, and unfortunately at their expense, we witness their heartache, loss, and drama for all the world to see. But just as much as we cry and empathize when celebrities experience tough times, we also celebrate when we see them overcoming obstacles, relishing in their success, or even enjoying a new chance at love. Case in point:
Ciara walked away from what she thought was her future, and in walked the love of her life through Russell Wilson.
Karrueche's ex tried desperately to get her attention, but now she's the center of attention -- on-screen and off with former baller Victor Cruz.
Cassie was with Diddy, but now she's blessed to be with child with her new beau Alex Fine.
Hence, from the outside looking in, there is so much we can learn from these ladies' experiences (and so many other non-celebrities including myself) and their willingness to move on.
1.For every man that won’t, there’s another one that will.
I think we can all agree that Russell Wilson was more than ready and willing to be (and do) for Ciara what her exes weren't willing to be. He appears to not only be good to her but good for her. The same is likely true for Cassie and Karrueche…at least I know it was for me when I met my husband also. I've said it a million times, but it's so true: if a man wants to be with you, then he'll be with you. Period.
2.Be courageous enough to walk away knowing that another will come along to stay.
A good man can't occupy space in your life if it's already taken by someone else. Society and statistics will tell you that the odds are stacked against you, and the ratio of women to men makes it nearly impossible to experience true love with a good man. However, don't let societal pressures or the fear of being alone keep you trapped in a toxic relationship just for the sake of saying that you're in a relationship. With God, anything is possible. Besides, as black women (and men), we've been defying statistics since the beginning of time.
3.“But I’ve invested so much time in the relationship” is not a legitimate excuse to remain in a toxic relationship that no longer serves you.
Comfort and convenience aren't substitutes for love. Just because it's comfortable to you doesn't mean it's purposeful for you.
When it no longer serves a purpose for your life, it then becomes a waste of time – for you and the other person. Life is too short to be wasting it on people and things that are toxic to your life. Just like with any financial investment, if it no longer provides a positive return, then it's time to move your money. Similarly, if the relationship no longer provides positive results for your life, then it may be time to move on…just like Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche did.
4.You can find the good in goodbye.
I know I'm not the only one who can look back and say to myself, "had I stayed…," or "thank goodness that ended," or "I dodged a bullet." There's a liberating feeling knowing that what you once thought was the best thing in your life became the best thing when it was actually removed from your life. You never know – your new and better beginning could be on the other side of that painful ending.
Related: How To Find The Good In Goodbye
5.Sometimes the very thing (or person) you’re holding onto is the very thing that’s holding you back.
Erykah Badu said it best: "Bag lady, you gone hurt your back. Dragging all those bags like that." It's that baggage and dead weight that keep us bound to toxic people and relationships. As my dear friend Natalie once told me, "Some people are tied to your dysfunction, not your destiny." Hence, sometimes people have to walk away in order for you to walk into your destiny.
6.Whoever you give your heart to, make sure they’re ready and have the capacity to receive it.
We are often disappointed when we give our hearts to those who never asked for it. Some people aren't ready for, nor do they deserve, all the love you have to give. The one who is ready and willing to receive your love, will be ready and willing to show you love.
7.“God is never late.”
Timing is everything to us, but there's a quote that says, "God doesn't wear a watch." His timing isn't like ours…and truth be told, we're not always prepared for what we ask for. Nevertheless, we have to trust that even if what we pray for doesn't happen exactly when or how we expect it to, God can still provide exactly what we need, when we need it.
8.You’ll know a man is no longer interested in playing games when it’s obvious he’s not playing with your heart.
There's a difference between a man who only says he's sorry and a man whose words are supported by his actions. Changed behavior is the evidence of a real apology. Moreover, a man after God's heart will take care of yours.
9.For every heartache experienced, God can heal you that much more.
I'm sure at some point Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche probably thought "when will the tears subside," or "when will this heartache end." It's difficult to see the light when you're in it, but the sun always finds a way to shine after the rain. I can imagine that for them, as it has been for me, their past hurt eventually became like a distant memory once they were able to move on and heal.
10.When we release old stuff, it creates space for something new.
Whether people are removed from our lives by force or choice, it frees up space around us and within us – physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. No longer are we considered "emotionally unavailable;" rather, the extra space opens ourselves to receive and experience more of what God has for us.
Nobody truly knows what the future holds for Ciara, Cassie, or Karrueche (or anyone for that matter), but while they're in this winning season, let's continue cheering them on from the sidelines. May their stories, as well as so many others, serve as hope and inspiration to live your best, purposeful life despite your past hurts, and more importantly, regardless of your relationship status.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Watching Angela “Blac Chyna” White’s transformation in real-time has truly been a sight to see. It wasn’t that long ago that she announced that she was reversing her cosmetic surgeries in an effort to go back to who she was before the world came to know her as Blac Chyna. In previous interviews, she stated that she was dissolving her facial and lip fillers, removing her breast implants, and getting a butt reduction, as well as removing the dimple piercings that enhanced her fame and controversial tattoos.
In a recent Tamron Hall interview, the mother of two said that she has “fully recovered” from the procedures. She is also celebrating one year of sobriety and opened up about being worried about how her new journey would be received by others.
“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for so long, right, and of course, like, you know, coming out, I’m like young, I’m gonna do wild things as we all have,” she said.
“...I feel like by me being vocal and showing everybody you can change your life and things can get better, like through myself, that right there is an accomplishment, and that’s a part of freedom, too.”
But as she started on her journey, many people have shown her grace, which is something she’s grateful for. “And then the fact that people have been showing me grace, it’s like amazing,” she said. “And I feel like when I did it, I just did it. It was more so like spiritual thing and I feel like people see that, and I’ve always been like my authentic self, so what you see is kinda what you get with me, and that’s just kinda what it is.”
Chyna, who recently received an honorary doctorate from Sacramento Theology Seminary and Bible College, has also repaired her relationship with her mom, Tokyo Toni. The social media celebrity surprised her daughter on the Tamron Hall Show. Prior to the sentimental surprise, Chyna dished on the reconciliation and having a better understanding of her mom.
“I must say, some of the things I have to take accountability for because, like my actions. As a mother, you don’t want to see your daughter doing certain things ‘cause it’s like it doesn’t matter what my past was or what we’re going through, I didn’t raise you that way,” she admitted. “So, it’s like, okay, maybe I was a little bit wrong. Maybe I was acting out a little bit. But I feel like as we grow older, I kinda see more, and I understand more.”
Chyna will be starring in season two of Fox's reality competition show Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
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Feature image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images