What The Ciara’s, Cassie’s & Karrueche's Of The World Have Shown Us About Moving On & Moving Up
I have to admit, I'm not someone who obsesses over or relies heavily on celebrity hook-ups, marriages, and love stories as a guide for my own relationships, considering the fact that their lifestyles are quite different from mine. Not to mention, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors -- whether they're famous or not.
However, we're often reminded of the fact that celebrities are human beings just like us. At times, and unfortunately at their expense, we witness their heartache, loss, and drama for all the world to see. But just as much as we cry and empathize when celebrities experience tough times, we also celebrate when we see them overcoming obstacles, relishing in their success, or even enjoying a new chance at love. Case in point:
Ciara walked away from what she thought was her future, and in walked the love of her life through Russell Wilson.
Karrueche's ex tried desperately to get her attention, but now she's the center of attention -- on-screen and off with former baller Victor Cruz.
Cassie was with Diddy, but now she's blessed to be with child with her new beau Alex Fine.
Hence, from the outside looking in, there is so much we can learn from these ladies' experiences (and so many other non-celebrities including myself) and their willingness to move on.
1.For every man that won’t, there’s another one that will.
I think we can all agree that Russell Wilson was more than ready and willing to be (and do) for Ciara what her exes weren't willing to be. He appears to not only be good to her but good for her. The same is likely true for Cassie and Karrueche…at least I know it was for me when I met my husband also. I've said it a million times, but it's so true: if a man wants to be with you, then he'll be with you. Period.
2.Be courageous enough to walk away knowing that another will come along to stay.
A good man can't occupy space in your life if it's already taken by someone else. Society and statistics will tell you that the odds are stacked against you, and the ratio of women to men makes it nearly impossible to experience true love with a good man. However, don't let societal pressures or the fear of being alone keep you trapped in a toxic relationship just for the sake of saying that you're in a relationship. With God, anything is possible. Besides, as black women (and men), we've been defying statistics since the beginning of time.
3.“But I’ve invested so much time in the relationship” is not a legitimate excuse to remain in a toxic relationship that no longer serves you.
Comfort and convenience aren't substitutes for love. Just because it's comfortable to you doesn't mean it's purposeful for you.
When it no longer serves a purpose for your life, it then becomes a waste of time – for you and the other person. Life is too short to be wasting it on people and things that are toxic to your life. Just like with any financial investment, if it no longer provides a positive return, then it's time to move your money. Similarly, if the relationship no longer provides positive results for your life, then it may be time to move on…just like Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche did.
4.You can find the good in goodbye.
I know I'm not the only one who can look back and say to myself, "had I stayed…," or "thank goodness that ended," or "I dodged a bullet." There's a liberating feeling knowing that what you once thought was the best thing in your life became the best thing when it was actually removed from your life. You never know – your new and better beginning could be on the other side of that painful ending.
Related: How To Find The Good In Goodbye
5.Sometimes the very thing (or person) you’re holding onto is the very thing that’s holding you back.
Erykah Badu said it best: "Bag lady, you gone hurt your back. Dragging all those bags like that." It's that baggage and dead weight that keep us bound to toxic people and relationships. As my dear friend Natalie once told me, "Some people are tied to your dysfunction, not your destiny." Hence, sometimes people have to walk away in order for you to walk into your destiny.
6.Whoever you give your heart to, make sure they’re ready and have the capacity to receive it.
We are often disappointed when we give our hearts to those who never asked for it. Some people aren't ready for, nor do they deserve, all the love you have to give. The one who is ready and willing to receive your love, will be ready and willing to show you love.
7.“God is never late.”
Timing is everything to us, but there's a quote that says, "God doesn't wear a watch." His timing isn't like ours…and truth be told, we're not always prepared for what we ask for. Nevertheless, we have to trust that even if what we pray for doesn't happen exactly when or how we expect it to, God can still provide exactly what we need, when we need it.
8.You’ll know a man is no longer interested in playing games when it’s obvious he’s not playing with your heart.
There's a difference between a man who only says he's sorry and a man whose words are supported by his actions. Changed behavior is the evidence of a real apology. Moreover, a man after God's heart will take care of yours.
9.For every heartache experienced, God can heal you that much more.
I'm sure at some point Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche probably thought "when will the tears subside," or "when will this heartache end." It's difficult to see the light when you're in it, but the sun always finds a way to shine after the rain. I can imagine that for them, as it has been for me, their past hurt eventually became like a distant memory once they were able to move on and heal.
10.When we release old stuff, it creates space for something new.
Whether people are removed from our lives by force or choice, it frees up space around us and within us – physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. No longer are we considered "emotionally unavailable;" rather, the extra space opens ourselves to receive and experience more of what God has for us.
Nobody truly knows what the future holds for Ciara, Cassie, or Karrueche (or anyone for that matter), but while they're in this winning season, let's continue cheering them on from the sidelines. May their stories, as well as so many others, serve as hope and inspiration to live your best, purposeful life despite your past hurts, and more importantly, regardless of your relationship status.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED