

Reclaim Your Skin Health With Skinfolks Founder Simedar Jackson
There's a lot more that goes into skincare than just a pretty face. If you're a Black woman, the overall care and maintenance of your skin embodies a journey to heal scars and feel fully empowered to reclaim agency over the complexities of your complexion.
For most Black women, our skincare journeys trace back to toothpaste spot treatments for active breakouts and Vaseline rub downs first thing in the morning before heading off to school. Traditionally, access to proper skincare products has been a space exclusive to the white, wealthy, and those with the disposable income to spend on high-end, department store creams and serums. As times evolve, folks with melanated skin have reclaimed their overall wellness and are advocating for skincare that caters to our needs and represents us in every hue.
That's how Simedar Jackson, a New York-based licensed esthetician, discovered her work in the space. Back when she was a beauty writer, it became clear that many of the products she would review were still missing the mark when it came to Black consumers explaining, "There were no options for me. I was side-eyeing the skincare industry like, 'How am I supposed to know what's good for me or not?'" When she realized that the ashy sunscreens and anti-afro dry shampoos were "very much so geared towards white women," she knew it was time for a change.
These discrepancies pushed her to create her own space to correct this problem called, Skinfolks, a community skincare platform that seeks to create a space for Black and POC in the skincare industry. As she shares, "Skincare is very personal; there's a link to wellness that makeup doesn't necessarily have. Skincare is more related to your overall wellness because your skin is an organ; it's the largest organ in your body."
As the mantra for her platform, Skinfolks, describes: "Skincare is more than beauty. It's healthcare that we all deserve access to and something that everyone can do for themself. Black people and POC should feel like they have a stake in the industry." Our skincare needs and overall wellness is deeply personal and sacred. And having the proper tools and education to reshape this space to our needs is a revolutionary act in itself.
That's why in this article, Simedar Jackson will guide us how to curate a skincare routine tailored to our needs and how Black folks can reimagine the cultural significance of our beauty experience.
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When it comes to building your curated skincare routine, here are some important tips to keep in mind:
For starters, decide on what your skincare concerns are and what your needs actually are. Simedar says, "If you're dealing with hyperpigmentation as your main concern, you want to have your bases covered. Everyone needs a cleanser, a moisturizer, and an SPF that they can use everyday; day and night - and have your SPF separate. The price goes up when you start to introduce products with more active ingredients like treatment products. In this case, you want to look for products with a blend of ingredients because it allows you to have a more comprehensive approach."
Heritage Store Rosewater Spray
Next on your list, you want to find an exfoliant that's suited to your unique skin type. For melanated skin, exfoliants with mandelic acid, salicylic acid, and lactic acid are gold. Avoid over-exfoliating the skin because it could lead to further irritation. Simedar's rule of thumb is: "irritation + inflammation = hyperpigmentation." So only exfoliate a couple of times a week.
KLUR Immersion Serum Concentration
ROSEN Skincare Bright Citrus Serum
Then you're going to need a brightening serum. Simedar suggests that you look for these key ingredients: "Vitamin C, Arbutin, Kojic acid, Mulberry, Licorice. These ingredients won't bleach or damage the melanin-producing cells, but they're going to help control the overproduction of melanin where there's been damage."
Base Butter Radiate Face Jelly
Essentials by Temi Soothing Elixir Oil
For serums, this is where it's OK to splurge a bit! On the low end, most quality serums tend to fall in the $40-$65 price range, but that's because your serums are supposed to do most of the heavy lifting. "Go for brands that have authority in the science space. If you're working on hyperpigmentation or acne, a clay mask isn't going to change your life. You need a well-formulated serum with AHA, Vitamin C, or Koji acid." Don't be alarmed by the price tags because the more formulation that goes into the serum, the more expensive it'll be. That's good for your skin because products with high concentrations of these active ingredients get the job done.
Murad Rapid Age Spot and Pigment Lightening Serum
Sunday Riley Good Genes All-in-One Lactic Acid Treatment
Biossance Squalane + 10% Lactic Acid Resurfacing Night Serum
As we heal and take ownership of our skin health, we’re reshaping our collective experience in the beauty and skincare space, here’s why:
Overall, it's important that Black folks feel empowered to seek out the guidance of an esthetician who they can trust. Although they don't have to be a person of color, they do have to have the best interest of your overall skin health in mind so that you address your needs and put you in the right direction. Historically, Black folks have had to overcome internalized trauma from the medical industry, so an inherent distrust when seeking out professional help and even overcoming a lack of access is a plight that should be acknowledged and tended to.
Thankfully, we are in a time where this space is looking more like us and as Simedar explains, "We have more Black people [on the production side] who are creating skincare brands and services so you can go to a Black esthetician and buy your products from a Black skincare brand. We have variety among these Black-owned brands to choose."
For online skincare consultations and to connect with Simedar Jackson's work, follow her at personal page and Skinfolks platform.
All recommendations listed in this article vary based on skin type, needs, and budget.
Featured image courtesy of Simedar Jackson
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
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Here's Why Very Few Relationships Can Actually Be 'Platonic'
Recently, while in an interview, someone asked me if I think that men and women can be just friends. I didn’t even hesitate to answer; my response was immediate, “Absolutely.” What I followed that up with is what intrigued them — “Life has taught me that not a lot of male/female dynamics are ‘platonic,’ though.” When they asked me to expound, the interview ended up taking a whole ‘nother turn.
As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means

So, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…

At this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?

Now that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships

Before I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs

Let me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
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I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images