Since Halloween is literally just moments away (generally speaking), I thought it would be a good idea to address sugar use from a far more beneficial angle than consuming it. What I mean by that is — when’s the last time you’ve actually applied either white (its granules are coarser and can be a great exfoliant) or brown (it is gentler and also a pretty potent humectant) sugar to your skin?
If your answer is “never,” I’d really like you to consider doing so. Sugar can add moisture to your skin. Sugar can bring radiance to skin that appears dry and dull. Sugar can make it easier to apply your make-up (because it helps to “smooth out” your skin). Sugar can help to prevent sebum build-up without drying out your skin in the process. The glycolic acid in sugar can even prolong the aging process of your skin.
If all of this sounds like something you’d like to get in on, I’m going to take out a sec to provide eight different ways that sugar can benefit your body — from the outside. I’ve even provided some DIY recipes, so that you can get to using sugar, in this way, as soon as you click off of this article. Let’s do this.
1. Body Scrub
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Imma tell you what — if hearing things like we all lose a whopping 200,000,000 skin cells per hour (PER HOUR) isn’t enough to make you want to change your bedding, like clockwork, on a weekly basis, I don’t know what will! And when it comes to your skin’s health and well-being, specifically, if you don’t want some of those dead cells to clog up some of your pores (which can lead to breakouts), that’s a really good reason to apply a body scrub, also on a weekly basis. Not only do body scrubs exfoliate and “polish” your skin, but they also remove the kind of dead skin build-up that can make it challenging for your skin to absorb moisture (like carrier oils and lotions). Plus, they can make your skin look and feel a lot smoother too.
Just make sure that you apply them to clean and damp skin, that you gently rub the scrub in a circular motion for a couple of minutes, and that you thoroughly rinse the scrub off with warm water, then cool, to close up your pores afterward. That’s how you can get the most out of pretty much any scrub — head to toe.
Try This: Homemade Coffee Sugar Scrub
2. Lip Scrub
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If you’ve ever kissed someone who had chapped or feathering lips (you know, when there are pieces of dead skin on them) before, you know how truly unpleasant that is. Just so you’re not the person someone else is referring to here, make sure to apply a lip scrub to your lips — twice a week should do it. The texture of sugar will help to remove dead skin layers, help to fade any hyperpigmentation that you may have, give your lips a really smooth and sexy feel and, it can even make them appear a bit fuller as well.
Try This: Natural Homemade Lip Scrub
3. Scalp Scrub
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If you didn’t get a chance to check out my article, “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do,” please make sure that you do at some point. You know, now that the FDA is seriously considering banning certain relaxers, I can’t say that I’m mad about that. Aside from the cancer risks that come with many hair straighteners, back when I was “detoxing” from texturizers, it took my scalp almost a year to recover (because, yes, the chemicals in them can be just that traumatizing).
Something that helped was scalp exfoliants (and I didn’t do them then nearly as much as I do now). Listen, just like the pores on your face can clog up and cause issues, so can the hair follicles on your scalp (and you have roughly 100,000 of those!). Anyway, if you have an itchy scalp, product build-up on your scalp, dry scalp that could use a moisture boost, dandruff flakes or you simply want to stimulate your hair follicles so that you can get stronger and healthier hair — a homemade sugar scalp scrub can do the trick.
You’ll be amazed by how soothed your scalp feels after giving yourself one (personally, I do a scrub before shampooing my hair on wash days).
Try This: Scalp Scrub and Scalp Clarifier
4. Hair (Conditioner) Scrub
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If you want to make a brown sugar hair scrub or if you want to put a tablespoon of brown sugar into your hair conditioner, I’m not gonna stand in your way. Something else that the granules of sugar can do is move product build-up from your tresses so that your hair ends up looking shinier. And again, since sugar is a humectant (which means that it pulls moisture from the air into your hair and onto your skin and scalp) — it will make your hair conditioner that much more effective.
Try This: Brown Sugar Hair Scrub
5. Facials
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Did you know that glycolic acid literally comes from sugarcane? It’s good for your skin because it removes dead skin cells, helps to reverse sun damage to the skin, evens out hyperpigmentation, and can even soften the appearance of acne scars (over time). In fact, it’s a type of acid that’s good at reducing breakouts overall. That said, because the skin on your face tends to be more fragile, go with brown sugar if you want to do a facial scrub as a part of your at-home spa day. Another approach that you can take is adding some brown sugar to an already-made facial. You’ll get the properties of sugar’s benefits either way.
Try This: Brown Honey Sugar Scrub
6. Hair Removal
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When my waxer was in the process of leaving a company to start her own business, I found a salon that did sugaring. Although I found my waxer to be way more precise when it came to hair removal, what I did like about the sugaring process is (at least for me) that it was less painful, the ingredients were all-natural and it helped permanently remove unwanted body hair a helluva lot faster than wax does. I’m such a fan that I’m currently trying to talk my waxer into adding sugaring to her list of services.
Anyway, if you want to learn more about sugaring and all that it entails, a few years back, someone wrote about her experience for our platform: “I Got A Sugar Wax & The Results Had Me Shook.” Real Simple also addresses a lot of additional questions that you may have here. And yes, I know a few people who do it themselves from home (because again, it’s all-natural). I’m just putting the option out there if you’re currently looking for a hair removal alternative to what you’re currently doing/using.
Try This: Homemade Sugar Wax
7. Cuticle Treatment
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It seems like the older I get, the more my cuticles want to be problematic as all get out. More than anything, they stay dry which can lead to hangnails and raggedy-looking cuticles, in general. I have to admit that although I get pedicures consistently, ever since the pandemic, I haven’t made my hands as much of a priority as they deserve. Whenever I do get professional manicures, though, that helps with the whole cuticle drama. When I’m at home, so does applying cuticle oil (or even a carrier oil like sweet almond or grapeseed) and using some sugar on them. Yep — just like the rest of your body needs dead skin cells removed from it, so do your cuticles. Try it and thank me later.
Try This: Cuticle Oil and Sugar Scrub
8. Foot Scrub/Soak
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I’m not sure why so many of us are programmed to think that manis and pedis are pampering. Personally, I think they are a form of self-maintenance — and no, those are not one and the same (check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself”). Self-maintenance is preventative care. Pampering is over-indulgence. That said, doing what will help to keep foot odor and fungus at bay, doing what will remove callouses and keep your feet soft and smooth, doing what will ease stress and reduce muscular discomfort (in your feet) — it’s an act of maintenance and foot scrubs and soaks will do that for you.
All you need is a foot basin, a foot scrub, or soak recipe and about 30-45 minutes. Listen, even though I get a pedicure no less than once a month, sometimes I will still scrub my heels in between appointments with some sugar. I never have any regrets; my feet feel divine every single time.
Try This: A Listerine Vinegar Sugar Scrub
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So, y’all — whether you choose to dress up this Halloween, leave the porch light on for the kiddies or you’re gonna sit this one out, don’t let this month leave without adding some sugar to your beauty care regimen. That’s one way that you’ll never have to worry about sugar being a problem. Pretty much…ever.
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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