Something that I definitely got from my father is a nonstop curiosity for random information. Yeah, it’s pretty common for me to be in the middle of doing something and, out of absolutely nowhere, a thought will pop up in my head. One like, Why is the sense of smell so important anyway?
According to science, smell affects appetite, plays a role in determining how things taste to us, sends warning signals about potential danger (like if you happen to smell smoke before seeing it), influences our libido, helps to stabilize our emotions (wild, right?) and, as far as aromatherapy goes, various scents can help to improve your overall health and well-being (hence the motivation for today’s title).
That said, since we’re well into the spring season now, I wanted to take a moment to share with you some spring-like scents (10 to be exact) that not only complement this time of year amazingly well, they can also help you to feel better, on a few different levels too.
My two cents: find a high-quality essential oil and either wear one or blend a couple of ‘em. That way, you can get the long-lasting effects as the temperature (and humidity) begin to increase. You’ll smell divine and be helping out your system at the same time.
1. Mandarin
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A scent that is very “springy” is anything that resembles citrus fruit — and mandarin certainly qualifies. As far as benefits go, not only can it help to put you in a better mood while reviving you both physically and emotionally, but mandarin is also great at detoxing your system, increasing your blood circulation, and serving as a sedative if you’re feeling anxious or, as of late, you’ve been having a difficult time falling asleep. And since it also helps to reduce stress levels, if you like how oranges smell anyway, look at all that it can do for you if you decide to actually wear the scent.
2. Peonies
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Speaking of citrus, a flower that’s in full bloom during the spring is the peony. If you’ve ever smelled one before, it has a bit of a sweet and citrusy fragrance to it. In herb form, white peonies are full of phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) which can be beneficial if you are going through menopause and you need a bit of an all-natural estrogen boost. The root has also been helpful when it comes to treating anxiety and depression. As an essential oil, it’s loaded with antioxidants that are great for your skin. And, since they are also on the citrusy side, the scent of peonies can help to put you into a relaxed state, similar to how mandarin can/will.
3. Bergamot
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Sweet. Floral. Lime-like. Those are some of the best ways to describe what bergamot smells like. As far as benefits go, many people like bergamot because its anti-inflammatory properties help to speed up the healing of pimples. Plus, hair-wise, it soothes an irritated scalp, softens hair, and can even potentially help your hair grow longer. There are also studies to support that bergamot helps to decrease pain levels, lower your blood pressure, heal psoriasis, and even reduce abdominal fat.
However, from what I’ve read, there is a heads-up to keep in mind here: If you plan on using bergamot essential oil before spending a considerable amount of time outdoors, wait 12 hours before doing so. Apparently, it’s not the most user-friendly when it comes to avoiding sunburn. Interesting.
4. Magnolia
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If you want a scent that’s kind of like a rose-meets-a lemon-meets-some musk, magnolia is exactly what you are looking for. In extract form, it helps to treat gingivitis (just for the record). Outside of that, it’s effective as it relates to bringing relief to menstrual cramps, soothing coughs, helping with respiratory issues (hey, it is peak allergy season, after all), and lowering cortisol levels in your system. Another thing that’s worth taking note of when it comes to magnolia is that since it can also help to improve your quality of sleep, many women who are going through menopause are big fans of it too.
5. Peppermint
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As far as the smell of peppermint goes, it’s kind of hard to describe. It’s sharp. It’s invigorating. It leaves a cool sensation whenever you get a close whiff of it. Anyway, believe it or not, even though peppermint candy is popular during the holiday season, growth-wise, it doesn’t do well in the cold. Spring and summer are more of its thing. That said, peppermint is good for you if you’re looking for some migraine or headache relief, you’re trying to unclog your sinuses, you need an energy boost throughout the day or you’re looking to treat a bout of seasonal allergies (check out “Honey, Probiotics & Other Natural Remedies For Seasonal Allergies”). Since peppermint can also help with making menstrual cramps less of a pain, of course, it had to go on the list.
6. Lily of the Valley
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I’m not sure if it’s because of the lemon nuances, the sweetness of it all, or the fact that it’s got a bit of a spicy kick to it but, if there’s one scent that some find to be “signature spring,” Lily of the Valley would be the one. What I personally find to be pretty wild is the fact that, with all of the health benefits that come from using it, it’s not talked about more often. Benefits like what? Well, for starters, it helps to even skin tone and reduce the appearance of scars.
Beyond that, it helps to lessen chest pains, keeps your digestive system running smoothly, decreases symptoms that are directly associated with depression, and can help to treat UTIs (urinary tract infections) too. You know, the woman in the Song of Solomon once said, “I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.” (Song of Solomon 2:1) If one flower (and its scent) can do all of this, she definitely said a mouthful.
7. Tulips
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Personally, my favorite flower is a tulip. Not really sure why; I just appreciate how tulips look. Now as far as scents go, it’s kind of like a mixture of honey, fresh grass, and a hint of citrus. According to the Herb Society of America, tulips can help to moisturize your skin, can bring relief to insect bites and they contain diuretic and antiseptic properties that can help to speed up the healing process of a cold.
Oh, and if you happen to be someone who prefers to go as natural as possible when it comes to makeup, it’s not uncommon to turn red tulips (or any flower of your choice, really) into a blush by crushing the petals. You can learn more about how to do that here.
8. Spearmint
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Taste-wise, if I had to choose between peppermint and spearmint, I’d probably go with spearmint; it tastes sweeter. Scent-wise, it’s actually a lot like peppermint although not quite as strong. When it comes to your health, if you’re looking for something that is full of antioxidants that is able to boost your memory, improve digestion issues, lower your blood sugar levels, fight bacterial infections, and even slow down the growth of facial hair (in women), spearmint can do that for you. Since some reports say that it can help to balance out your hormones as well as help to make morning sickness more bearable, if anything should be considered to be a “women’s health scent,” spearmint would be it.
9. Lilacs
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Lilacs are pretty cool. On the symbolism tip, white ones represent purity, purple ones represent spirituality and the ones that come with blue trim are all about tranquility. Their smell is pretty soft and feminine — somewhat like the Lily of the Valley yet a lot more subtle; some say that they are able to pick up almonds and roses from it as well. Your skin will like lilacs due to their antibacterial and antifungal properties. This flower is also helpful thanks to its ability to protect your skin from damaging UV rays and help your system to heal from fungal infections.
10. Lavender
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If there is a scent on the list that you probably saw coming, it’s lavender. Its smell is light and fresh (kind of like new linens) with a bit of sweetness and herbal undertones to it. A part of the reason why I decided to put this one at the end is because, on some levels, it’s like saving the best for last due to all of the things that it can do for you:
- Lower stress levels
- Relieve asthma-related symptoms
- Improve sleep
- Promote hair growth
- Help to heal fungus infections
- Make hot flashes (in menopausal women) easier to bear
- Speed up the healing process of breakouts
- Boost your moods
- Reduce menstrual discomfort
- Naturally treat headaches
And that truly is just for starters! No…really.
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You know, fairly recently, Harper's BAZAAR published, “The 17 Best Spring Perfumes to Keep in Rotation” and listen, if perfume is your thing, it’s got some good ones on here. Personally, I will always be about essential oils because of the aromatherapy and other benefits that they provide.
So, as you’re figuring out what you want your own signature spring scent to be this year, at least consider trying one of these 10. You’ll smell delightful and be doing wonderful things for your health too. Happy Spring, y’all!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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