

Women Reveal The Go-To Lipstick Shades That Elevate Them To Boss Status
Being a #BAWSE nowadays may not be easy. Waking up early, staying up late, working that corporate job, that side hustle, or even that dream job, supporting your tribe and being there for everyone while also taking care of yourself? Yeah, not always the easiest.
Despite its challenges, there's nothing like waking up and slaying your day in style and grace! For me, nothing gets me into "go mode" and ready to tackle the day like finishing my makeup off with my favorite lipstick. Seriously, think about it: have you ever noticed how you just instantly look more put together once you throw that lipstick on? There's just something about lipstick that ties your makeup look together - heck, even when going out bare face, it instantly elevates you.
These days, you may be looking for some color inspiration to add to your beauty arsenal. I grabbed 10 women killin' it in their industries to share what's their go-to lip shade:
Renae Bluitt
What She Does:
Founder of InHerShoes / Executive Producer of SheDidThat / Beauty PR Consultant
What She Wears:
"Boy Trouble" by The Lip Bar & "Ruby Woo" by MAC
Why She Loves It:
"My favorite winter (spring, fall, and summer) lip combination is The Lip Bar's 'Boy Trouble' mixed with 'Ruby Woo' by MAC. I rarely step out into the world without a lippie and have always loved statement-making colors against my brown skin. There's something about a bright and bold lip that makes me feel pulled together in any and everything from sweatshirts to sequins. My approach to life has always been put on some bold lipstick and handle it!"
Karleen Roy
What She Does:
Founder of The Vanity Group
What She Wears:
"Toosie" by Scoobie West & Company
Why She Loves It:
"I love this color because it's the color of fire! It makes me feel like the fly women in the 70's/80's who always wore red lipstick and wore long red nails. Bianca Jagger style! Even if you do not have on a full face of makeup, red lipstick instantly pops and give you a polished look."
Delina Medhin
What She Does:
Celebrity Makeup Artist
What She Wears:
Why She Loves It:
"I love a dark lip in the winter! One of my favorites is this pigmented brown lipstick. It's a creamy consistency that glides on to the lip and wears comfortably. To give this lip longer wear, pair it with Mac Cosmetics lipliner in the color 'Chestnut.'"
Dana Oliver
What She Does:
Beauty Director at Yahoo Lifestyle
What She Wears:
"Rock With You" by NARS Powermatte Lip Pigment
Why She Loves It:
"During the cold-weather months, I like to accessorize my cool gray and crisp black winter outfits with vampy matte lipsticks. And NARS Powermatte Lip Pigment in 'Rock With You' is my new favorite for four fabulous reasons: 1) This is one matte lip product that doesn't dry out my lips. 2) It goes on super smooth — I don't even need a mirror to apply flawlessly, thanks to the precise doe-foot applicator. 3) The rich mulberry pigment is long-lasting, even with drinking several cups of almond chai. 4) The name reminds me of my favorite Michael Jackson record."
Shantel Rousseau
What She Does:
Style, Travel & Beauty blogger / YouTuber
What She Wears:
Why She Loves It:
"I'm pretty exclusive to either Red or Nude lips and, in the winter, it's no different. I like to give it more depth during the cooler season by opting for a richer red than a typical bright one. 'Icon' is one I've been using for 7+ years!"
Africa Miranda
What She Does:
Actress / Spokesmodel / Founder of Beauty by Africa Miranda
What She Wears:
Why She Loves It:
"I LOVE a dark lip in the winter. 'Media' gives great coverage and doesn't dry out your lips, which is a huge plus in the cold. I also love that it is both edgy and glamorous."
Leila Noelliste
What She Does:
Founder of Blackgirllonghair.com & BGLH marketplace
What She Wears:
Why She Loves It:
"I rarely ever wear makeup. And that isn't, like, a stance or anything. It's because I never learned. But 2017 was the year I decided to step out of my comfort zone, and that included doing a photoshoot in my new Bed Stuy storefront. My publicist asked how I wanted my makeup to look, so I browsed Tumblr and saw a woman wearing this beautiful shade of maroon. I instantly knew that was what I wanted. When the MUA arrived, she brought a bunch of maroon lippies and I picked 'Goldie' by Colourpop. When the pictures came back, I was amazed at how incredible I looked!"
Camara Aunique
What She Does:
Celebrity Makeup Artist & Beauty Expert
What She Wears:
"#NoFilter" by AJ Crimson Beauty
Why She Loves It:
"The color works on all women of color! It's the perfect nude that lasts and keeps your lips conditioned, oh, and it's perfect for kissing!"
Ylorie Taylor
What She Does:
Vice President at Eden Bodyworks
What She Wears:
"Oh Lady" and "High Drama" by MAC
What She Does:
"As a working wife and mom with a very full life, when I have the opportunity to get glam, I allow the makeup artist to make me her palette. I trust her judgement to bring my lips to life! I am always pleasantly surprised at the final look and very appreciative because it accentuates me so well. I rarely wear makeup, but when 'in front of the camera' work calls or a special occasion arises, I make sure to treat myself to a glam session. It's just one more way I take care of me (#selfcare) to put my best foot forward."
Kéla Walker
What She Does:
TV Host / Producer Style Authority
What She Wears:
"Bawse Lady" by The Lip Bar & "Berry" by Kami Cosmetics
Why She Loves It:
"I'm never without a red lipstick. I love it year-round. It's a part of my signature style but, in the colder months, I prefer it to be a little deeper, with a warm undertones like 'Bawse Lady.' Save the bright reds with cooler undertones for the warmer month.
"There's nothing like layering on a deep plum color in the winter. This oxblood berry color provides just the right amount of warmth to the season's cool styles and trends. I love wearing the dark bold color with neutral tones for a great contrast. I also love the edge it gives any look. Either way you pick it, both colors require you to wear in confidence."
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Originally published January 7, 2018
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Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt so deeply connected to them? Everything about the relationship was intense – good or bad? Then you might be in a part of a soul tie.
The concept of a soul tie binds individuals on a level beyond a relationship's physical and emotional aspects; it’s more than a mere connection. You can form a soul tie with anyone – lover, friend, colleague, etc.- but we are discussing romantic partners for this article. Think of you and your partner as an intensely burning flame. The flame can burn passionately to light the relationship’s way or chaotically burn everything in its path. Either way, it leaves an indelible mark on the souls involved.
A soul tie should not be confused with the term “soulmate.” The main difference is that a soul tie can be positive or negative, while a soulmate is a mutual, harmonious connection. Unlike a soul tie, a soulmate relationship is generally characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared values.
However, the more we learn about soul ties, the more it becomes evident that they are not monolithic; they vary in nature and intensity. As someone who has experienced a negative soul tie, it is crucial to discern whether they contribute positively to personal growth or hinder you from flourishing.
If Your Soul Tie Is Positive
A positive soul tie creates a deep and affirming connection between individuals. One key indicator of a positive soul tie is effective communication. If you’re experiencing a positive soul tie, a shared understanding fosters open and honest dialogue, contributing to a sense of connection and support.
Mutual growth is another hallmark of a positive soul tie. When individuals in a relationship encourage each other's personal development and evolution, it signifies a positive and uplifting connection. This mutual support leads to an environment where both parties can thrive individually and together, contributing to the overall health of the soul tie.
Emotional security is a crucial element in identifying a positive soul tie. In such connections, individuals feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other. This emotional security forms a stable foundation for the relationship, allowing both parties to express vulnerability and foster a strong, positive bond. These three indicators—effective communication, mutual growth, and emotional security—underscore the positivity inherent in a healthy and affirming soul tie.
If Your Soul Tie Is Negative
A negative soul tie manifests as a detrimental and draining connection between individuals. One clear sign of a negative soul tie is the presence of emotional turmoilwithin the relationship. When the connection becomes a source of constant distress, causing emotional upheaval and hindering personal development, it indicates a negative soul tie.
Codependency is another red flag for a negative soul tie. In such connections, individuals may become overly reliant on each other, impeding their ability to thrive independently. Codependency often leads to unhealthy dependencies and can result in a toxic dynamic that hinders both individuals' growth and well-being.
A lack of effective communication is a third indicator of a negative soul tie. When there is a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings and unresolved issues can fester, contributing to a strained and unhealthy connection. In negative soul ties, the absence of open and honest dialogue can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent the resolution of underlying issues. These three indicators—emotional turmoil, codependency, and poor communication—point to the negativity associated with an unhealthy soul tie.
Putting Out The Fires And Breaking Your Soul Tie
Unfortunately, my deep, intense connection only caused destruction. And despite the obvious red flags, it took a minute before I broke the connection. Why? Because I was addicted to the relationship, we both were. But it is possible to break a soul tie if and when you are ready because if you are not, pretending you are when you are not is a waste of your time.
Breaking a soul tie requires intentional and purposeful actions. Establishing clear and firm boundaries is a fundamental step in severing the connection. By limiting contact and emotional engagement with the person involved, individuals can gradually weaken the tie and create space for personal growth.
Seeking professional support is another effective strategy to break a soul tie. Guidance from therapists or counselors provides valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional assistance can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with breaking a soul tie, offering a structured and supportive environment for healing.
Redirecting energy toward personal growth is important in breaking free from a soul tie. Engaging in activities that promote individual well-being and create a sense of independence allows individuals to refocus their attention on their own growth and development. This redirection of energy is essential for breaking the emotional bonds of a soul tie and moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
The last step I advise everyone to go through is the mourning period. My partner and I did our song and dance for years before I walked away. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I mourned our relationship while I healed.
Recognizing the presence and nature of a soul tie in your relationship is crucial to understanding its impact on your well-being. Whether positive or negative, the intensity of a soul tie can shape the course of your personal growth and happiness. Breaking free from a negative soul tie demands intentional efforts, from setting clear boundaries to seeking professional support. Redirecting energy toward personal growth and allowing oneself a necessary mourning period are vital steps toward healing and liberation from the intricate ties that bind.
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Feature image by JD Mason/ Unsplash