While I was in the midst of an interview about 10 things that life has taught me in review, one thing that I said, off the bat, was balance is so important. And if there’s definitely an instance where this applies, on every level imaginable, it’s when it comes to alcohol consumption.
I’m hoping it goes without saying that it absolutely should be consumed in moderation (the CDC says that two or less a day for men and one or less a day for women should be the goal); at the same time, though, there are some health benefits that come with having a glass of your favorite “spirit”. For instance, did you know that alcohol can help to keep heart disease down? Not only that, but red wine can help to keep your brain cells healthy, vodka soda can help you reach your weight goals, and champagne is filled with antioxidants.
10 Cocktails and Mocktails That Support Vaginal Health
So since alcohol has been proven to “do a body good” on some levels since the weather is warming up, and I know that some of y’all are gonna get your drink on fa ‘sho, I thought I’d share some cocktails (and mocktails) that also contain ingredients that will benefit your va-jay-jay. Because if you’re gonna be turning it up a bit — my two cents would be to make it totally worth your (and her) while, chile.
Summer Drinks for Vaginal Health
1. Vodka Cranberry Cocktail
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Three ingredients that stand out in this recipe that are good for your vagina are cranberry juice, orange juice, and vodka.Cranberries are good for you because they have tannins in them that can help to prevent the bacteria that create UTIs (urinary tract infections) from forming.Orange juice is beneficial because citrus fruit, in general, helps tokeep your vagina’s pH balance where it needs to be; plus, it contains antioxidants that help to keep your immune system up which helps to keep yeast infections at bay. And sincesome studies reveal that vodka is great at reducing stress and stress can also be attributed to vaginal infections — you see why I had to lead with this particular cocktail…right? Just make sure that your juices have as little sugar in them as possible — if you want to get as many health benefits from them as you can, that is.
2. Lavender Blueberry Bees Knees
Before we get into the ingredients of this particular drink, let me just say that I’ve had lavender ice cream and popsicles before, and they both tasted pretty darn good. So, if you’re someone who thinks that this recipe sounds hella weird, my two cents would be to give it a shot (no pun intended) first.
For this cocktail, all of the ingredients are vagina-friendly, from the blueberry gin and lemon juice to the lavender and honey syrups. Like vodka, gin also helps to decrease stress. Blueberries contain antioxidants that help to reduce oxidative stress; this is good to know since that type of stress can do a number on both your sex drive as well as your fertility. We already touched on what citrus fruits can do. Lavender is considered to be a healing agent and muscle relaxant; it also helps to reduce inflammation (if your vagina is experiencing some of that). And honey? Honey has phytoestrogens in it that can strengthen your reproductive health. Honey also contains properties that can help to reduce vaginal dryness.
Get the Lavender Blueberry Bees Knees recipeHERE.3. Watermelon Strawberry Mocktail
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Let’s get into a couple ofmocktails, starting with one that has watermelon and strawberries in it. You know, aside from the fact that mocktails are an awesome alternative for the non-drinker, if you’re looking to keep the calories from alcohol out of your diet, that’s another cool reason to consume them.
When it comes to this recipe and how it helps your vagina out, the watermelons, strawberries, and limes (yep, there are only three ingredients here) all do it.Watermelon is a solid source of hydration and antioxidants that can help to keep your vagina healthy and well-moisturized. It’s also another fruit that reduces oxidative stress.Another cool thing about watermelon is it can help to increase blood flow, including to your genitalia — and that could ultimately meanmore intensified orgasms (yay!). The high amount ofVitamin C in strawberries can help to prevent vaginal infections, andsome studies say that lime juice helps to increase sexual excitement. Cheers!
Get the Watermelon Strawberry Mocktail recipeHERE.4. Avocado Mocktail
You might not have considered an avocado mocktail before; however, just like a lavender popsicle is pretty good, an avocado one (at least, in my opinion) is actually pretty bomb — so, why not give this alcohol-free drink a try? The avocados, kiwi, coconut water, mint, and lime juice will all do your vagina a lot of good, trust me.Avocados are awesome because they contain fats that will work to keep your vaginal walls strong and naturally lubricated.Word on the street is avocados also have properties in them that will help your system produce certain sex hormones.
Kiwi is in the next drink, so I’ll get to that in a sec.Coconut water is a good source of potassium; that’s good to know becausepotassium is a nutrient that keeps your cells healthy and it also helps to keep vaginal dryness from becoming too much of an issue. Coconut water is also loaded with antioxidants and can help to keep your blood sugar levels down (which could keep yeast infections from returning since yeast thrives on sugar).Mint has antibacterial properties in them that can help to keep your vagina smelling fresh. As life would have it, mint can also help to balance your vagina’s pH. And you already know what lime/citrus is able to do.
Get the Avocado Mocktail recipeHERE.
5. Fresh Kiwi Caipirinha
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If you’ve never heard of Caipirinha, it’s the national drink of Brazil, and it only contains three ingredients: lime, sugar, and cachaça (cachaça is a distilled liquor that is made from pure sugar cane juice). Clearly, since kiwi is brought into the mix here, this recipe is a variation of the traditional alcoholic beverage. And yes, I had to shout out kiwis because they are high in vitamins C and K, and K helps to significantly reduce the risk of contracting an HPV infection. Kiwi is also cool because it has plant compounds that could help to create an estrogen-like effect that could ultimately be beneficial for perimenopausal and menopausal women (since estrogen levels fluctuate and then drop during those seasons of a woman's life).
Get the Fresh Kiwi Caipirinha recipeHERE.
6. Designated Appletini Mocktail
If you really like apples, why not try an apple-based mocktail? This recipe is very simple to follow and has two ingredients that your vagina will be thrilled about: apples and lemon juice. You know about the citrus, so let’s focus on the apples. For starters,apples contain polyphenols that help to increase blood flow down to your vaginal region (and you know what that means, right?More orgasms!).Some studies even reveal that “an apple a day” can literally help to increase the pleasure of sex for young women. So, one of these appletinis? Yeah…get — well, make — you one.
Get the Designated Appletini Mocktail recipeHERE.
7. Pineapple Chili Margarita
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There’s nothing like a fresh margarita on a warm day and one that has pineapples, lime, and tequila in it while making your vagina very happy. Although it should go on record that it’s more ofa well-traveled and longstanding myth than anything that pineapples can drastically change the taste or scent of your vagina (check out “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina”),what pineapples can do is fend off vaginal inflammation and keep your vaginal tissues in good shape.Some experts say that it can keep the healthy bacteria that’s inside of your vagina thriving as well. Lime has been covered, andtequila? It can help to reduce pain and inflammation, boost immunity and improve iron levels; that last one is a winner if you’re someone who hasthe kind of period that damn near takes you out (because the stronger your iron levels are, the easier your cycle will be on the fatigue tip)!
Get the Pineapple Chili Margarita recipeHERE.
8. Dark Chocolate Malted Martinis
If you want to treat yourself to an alcoholic drink that is truly decadent, this is the one. As far as your vagina goes, dark chocolate, vodka, and vanilla extract are the winners here.Dark chocolate is not only full of antioxidants, it also increases blood flow throughout your body and can help to prevent UV damage to your skin if you’ve got some vacation sex on the docket in the upcoming weeks or months. By the way, since dark chocolate can help to stimulate the production of“feel good” hormones like dopamine and serotonin, if you’ve heard that dark chocolate is an aphrodisiac, in many ways, that would be true.When it comes to vodka, something else that it can do is help to boost your sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) and,believe it or not, vanilla extract is full of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory agents. Yeah, your va-jay-jay definitely needs all-a-dat.
Get the Dark Chocolate Malted Martinis recipeHERE.
9. Citrus and Honey Mocktail
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Something that we already touched on earlier was citrus and honey, so when I saw a cocktail that combined them both, it definitely had to go on here. Since this recipe also contains fresh sage, let me drop two more things about citrus and honey and then that.Citrus is also good for your vagina because it contains fiber that helps to eliminate waste along with collagen that helps to keep your vagina looking (and feeling) youthful (check out “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth” and “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.”). Honey is also good for your vagina becausethe flavonoids and polyphenols in them can play a role inpreventing vaginal atrophy. Some people rely onthe properties of sage to help to kill the candida that causes yeast infections; plus, it can help tobring relief to perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms. Oh, I also saw agave syrup in the recipe; it can help your vagina out becauseit’s a good source of various vitamins and minerals.
Get the Citrus and Honey Mocktail recipeHERE.
10. Joaquín Simó's Pearls Before Swine (A Yogurt Cocktail)
Never heard of a yogurt cocktail before? Yep, they do indeed exist. I’m gonna close this out with this one because I thought the name was cool (Matthew 7:6). That said, gin, lemon juice, and Greek yogurt (which is yogurt that has the whey removed from it) are the vagina-friendly ingredients for this drink. You know about the first two, so let’s discuss the yogurt part.The probiotics and Vitamin B12 that’s in Greek yogurt make this such a wonderful drink for your vagina.
Probiotics help to keep “good bacteria” from being overtaken by the bad kind that’s in your vagina; more good means less risk for a yeast infection.Vitamin B12 helps toput you in a good mood, gives you more energy, and keeps your vaginal/cervical mucus in good condition (which is really good to know if you’re currently in the process of trying to conceive). So, if you’ve got a get-together with your girlfriends coming up, introduce them to a yogurt cocktail. It just might become their — and their vaginas’ — new favorite thing. Enjoy!
Get the Joaquín Simó's Pearls Before Swine recipeHERE.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Although I’m not exactly sure that writing about sex as much as I do was on my life’s work bingo card back in the day, I must admit that it has always been a topic that has fascinated me. I think it’s because, even though society likes to gaslight us by acting like the act is “no biggie,” there is way too much data out here that says otherwise. Hmph. Not like I needed the data in the first place because, in my opinion, any act that is responsible for creating life, that is something that is a pretty BIG deal.
So, today? Today, we’re going to tackle how sex impacts us when it comes to our energy fields. What (mostly) inspired this is once reading a science-based article about how it is a fact and not a myth that just like plants can absorb energy from other plants, humans can do the same thing by being in the space of other human beings. And when you stop to really think about it, doesn’t that make all of the sense in the world?
Otherwise, there wouldn’t be terms out here like “peer pressure” and big grown folks wouldn’t be out here trying to look and act just like some of their favorite celebrities or IG influencers (and yet, on that point, I digress).
So, since energy impacts us in some pretty significant ways, let’s take a few moments to see how it goes down when it comes to copulation — just so that you’re (even more) aware of what you’re getting yourself into when you “do the do,” as far as your personal energy space is concerned.
Energy. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so before we get all up in how energy is exchanged during sexual activity, what is energy as it relates to human beings, in general? Well, in some ways, it all depends on who you ask. For instance, the famed Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that energy is about having the capacity to do something. Some medical experts say that energy is all about how something impacts you on a mental or physical level.
For instance, negative energy tends to be very heavy and draining while positive energy can increase feel-good chemicals throughout your system which makes it easier for you to do things like be creative and problem-solve. Something else that I think is important to keep in mind as far as human energy goes is it’s impacted by a myriad of things including a person’s stress levels, how healthy a person is, what their life choices are (as far as how their decisions influence them) and even what their sleep patterns are like.
And if all of this is true, then something else that Aristotle once said about energy would be beyond accurate: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Energy is life. Whew, so if this is indeed the case, does this mean that when you choose to have sex with someone, you are sharing your life force — whatever state that may be — with someone as they are doing the same to/for/with you? YES.
What Does It Mean to Exchange Sexual Energy?
GiphySince I grew up in an entertainment industry household, I think that’s probably why I’ve ended up with some close friends who are in the industry as well. That said, I will never forget when I was talking to one of them one day about a particular artist. When I expressed how much sex appeal that she had, my (male) friend simply said, “Yeah, I’ve been in her presence a few times before. She has some really dark energy. I didn’t even hug her.”
Now from a scientific standpoint, dark energy is simply what causes the universe to accelerate in growth over a certain period of time; however, when a person is described to have dark energy, that usually means that they have an evil and/or negative and/or heavy and/or draining aura about them. And y’all, here’s what’s semi-wild about what he said: did you know that science backs that hugs do indeed transfer energy?
Yep, research reveals that a hug from someone can literally alter your brain and body chemistry — so you definitely need to be discerning about who you let up into your affection space. Straight up. And so, since a hug has the capacity to do that, how much more can SEX?
To further emphasize this, let’s begin with an article that I read on Healthline’s website entitled, “Do We Really Exchange Energy During Sex?” After checking it out, one of the main things that I appreciated was when a doctor who was interviewed for the piece said:
“Every sex act is an exchange of energy [because] every sexual act raises or lowers your energy level…Therefore, a sexual relationship isn’t a purely psychological or physiological, mechanical act…Rather, it’s an energetic action. When we have an intimate relationship with someone, the two energies merge.”
Okay, so according to science, when two people have sex, energies merge. Well, according to Scripture, when two people have sex, oneness transpires (Genesis 2:24-25). Let’s keep going.
There was once a Physician-scientist by the name of Wilhelm Reich (who actually died in prison, in part, because of his radical beliefs on sex and orgasms during his time), who once said that having a healthy sex life (which, to him, including orgasms and is what he referred to as “orgastic potency”) is what played a huge role in one’s emotional health and well-being. That’s because, to him, without the release of sexual energy, neurological disorders would be come to be.
My takeaway from this is when you think about the fact that things like serotonin, dopamine, and the “the bonding chemical” oxytocin are all released during sex (and most certainly during orgasms), and also since sex (and orgasms) reduce stress — you need to tend to your sexual energy for the sake of your holistic health. Let’s continue on.
After reading an article on sexual energy on Cosmo’s website in which one of the sex therapists said that “our sexuality is our power" and then reading an article on the same topic on Well + Good’s platform where another expert stated that, “Many belief systems believe sexual energy is an expression of the soul's connection to the cosmos and the rest of the universe”, I thought about the word “power” and then “soul connection.”
At the end of the day, power isn’t just ability but the capability to influence and even take authority over something or someone. And a soul connection? Several years ago, when I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” one of the things that I made sure to emphasize is your soul IS also your life. This means that soul connections are life connections.
And so, it would appear that sharing sexual energy also means that you are making a life connection with someone. And that type of connection has the power to influence you in ways that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. That is how deep exchanging sexual energy is.
What You Should Always Keep in Mind Before Sharing Sexual Energy with Someone Else
GiphyNow are there degrees to this whole sexual energy thing? Of course. The type of connection that a husband and wife of 20 years can make via sex is very different than a one-night stand. However, it would appear that science believes that it doesn’t really matter what you tell yourself about sex with someone (or even how many condoms you may use during sex) — potent energy is exchanged regardless.
That’s a huge part of the reason why I will forever roll my eyes about how ridiculous “casual sex” sounds to me, because, although I do believe that it is very possible to engage in coitus that has no real purpose (casual is purposeless, by definition), what isn’t possible is for there not to be a significant connection made from a scientific standpoint. Because again, if a mere hug can alter you (shoot, a handshake too), do you really think that allowing a man’s penis into the sacred space known as your vagina will not? After reading all of this…do you really?
When it comes to energy, author T. Harv Eker once said, “Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” With all that was just shared about sexual energy, each and every person you choose to “engage” with, they are either going to affect you or infect you — just with their energy alone.
Knowing this, if there was ever a time to choose wisely, this would be it.
Your energy is your power. Who you exchange power with? CHOOSE WISELY.
EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.
And because energy can shift…be cognizant of what you’re doing…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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