2024 is here, and while many people will tell you that New Year's resolutions are pointless and you won't keep up with them, I will tell you why you should. The new year is an opportunity for you to design the life you want, reflect on the previous year's wins and losses, and decide for yourself what you want to manifest.
There have been years where my new year opened up doors for me that I never thought possible and years where I struggled tremendously - in both circumstances, my attitude, choices, and consistency were a direct result of the outcomes. As you approach the new year, I'm not here to tell you what you should consider for 2024; I'm suggesting what you should do away with to build a life rooted in what's best for your well-being. The rest is up to you.
5 Things To Let Go Of In The New Year
1.People Who Tell You Don't Set New Year's Resolutions
There is something to be said about being intentional in goal-setting for the new year.
Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
Is it just me, or are people who tell you that setting New Year's resolutions pointless just not my kind of people? Am I saying that you should set unrealistic goals for yourself? Absolutely not, but there is something to be said about being intentional. You cannot create anything great without being specific and dedicated. Stay the course even if you're the only one in your immediate circle who sticks with their resolution goals. To keep yourself motivated, make small goals instead of focusing on the larger goal ahead of staying dedicated all year.
2.Diets That Aren't Sustainable
Making lifestyle changes can be difficult, especially when they're unstainable. Fad diets can lead to weight gain and worse outcomes like binge eating. Deciding to assess your eating habits and make changes to fuel your body and take care of your temple is a beautiful decision, but it should be made with your long-term goals and lifestyle in mind. Instead of focusing on restriction, focus on implementing whole foods into your diet and cutting back on processed foods and, more importantly, foods that don't agree with your body. Our bodies are constantly speaking to us; we just have to listen.
3.Misaligned Relationships
Ask yourself if relationships that are holding space in your life are a reflection of what you desire in 2024.
Westend61/Getty Images
Don't start the new year pouring into dead-end relationships. Often, when friendships, relationships, and even business relationships are close to their expiration date, we delay deciding to move on out of fear of the unknown, but what does it serve you to stay in any relationship that's expired? Make space for what's coming by, and ask yourself if the relationships that are holding space in your life are a reflection of what you desire in 2024.
4.Movement That Isn't Rooted in Joy
What's your relationship with movement? Is it something you do just for weight loss? Is it based on the workouts you were told would garner a specific result? Exercise isn't just crucial for our bodies, it's needed for our minds as well. There are studies that show the correlation between exercise and the release of trauma stored in our bodies, but that exercise should be rooted in a workout routine that you can enjoy.
Related: 5 Satisfying Hip Opening Stretches Your Body Wants You To Do More Often
Much like your diet should be sustainable, your exercise regimen of choice should be as well. So ignore the TikTok trends, and try out a bunch of different exercise machines and classes if you can. Develop a workout routine focused on exercise that excites and challenges you.
5.Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Use healthy coping tools to prep yourself for how to respond to shifts in your life that you don't expect.
Westend61/Getty Images
Even if you have the year wins, challenges and adversity will come. For every high, there will be a low, and that's not to say that you should anticipate pain and loss; it's to prepare yourself for how to respond in a healthy way to shifts in life that you didn't expect. On those days, do all you can to stay away from overeating, alcohol, and any other unhealthy ways that you would usually lean on to cope; develop a list of healthy coping tools that you can turn to.
2024 will be your best year if you are intentional. I believe in you, and I cannot wait to see all that lies ahead of us in the coming year.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by NickyLloyd/Getty Images
Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Tasha Smith On Why Your Self-Worth Is Your Greatest Asset In Relationships
If the definition of BOOM needed a photo next to it, it better be Tasha Smith’s face.
Tasha Smith, 53, the actress known for her captivating performances and outspoken personality, has become a beloved figure in the entertainment industry. Her portrayal of the fierce and fabulous Angela in the hit movie Why Did I Get Married? is nothing short of iconic.
Beyond her role in the Tyler Perry film, Smith has established herself as a versatile actress with a range of impressive credits to her name. She has consistently delivered powerful performances in both film and television, showcasing her ability to embody complex characters and bring their stories to life.
Off-screen, Smith is equally captivating. She is known for her candid and outspoken nature, never shying away from speaking her truth. Her authenticity and willingness to address important issues have made her a role model for many.
Lucky for us, she brings that authentic energy no matter the occasion. Tasha had us saying “Amen” and “Amen again” while listening to a resurfaced interview with Donni Wiggins on theFully Transparent podcast. There, she talked about starring in Bad Boys: Ride or Die, working with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, and being a powerhouse.
One commenter shared, “Tasha Smith needs to have her own talk show and or motivational conferences!” and we couldn’t agree more. Keep reading for some gems that stuck with us!
Tasha Smith On Self-Worth and Resilience:
“Don’t let any man burn you out or make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t take 'no' from anybody. Period. I mean it, honey. When things go wrong, don’t stay down for too long. Let the comeback be quick and big, honey. Big. We’re resilient. We are.”
On Understanding Your Value:
“You have to understand your value. Sometimes, when things don’t go right in relationships, we, as women, tend to blame ourselves. But why does that have to be the case? I remember talking to a woman who said her guy cheated on her. I told her, ‘He didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ She looked at me confused, and I said it again, ‘He cheated because he didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ That behavior has nothing to do with you—it’s about him trying to feel better about himself.”
On The Power of Boundaries:
“If we understood our value, we’d have more boundaries, and we wouldn’t accept so much. You know what I mean? Because, honestly, we create bad behavior by what we allow. Women ask, ‘Why does he keep doing that?’ Well, because you keep letting him. The apologies are working, and those apologies come with more demonic ones.”
On Breaking the Cycle of “Sorry”:
“Once you get delivered from one 'sorry,' if you keep the door open, more will come in—stronger and harder to overcome. Before you know it, you’re stuck in that 'sorry' space. If you truly understood your value, you’d be quicker to walk away.”
On Moving Forward with Self-Respect:
“For me, at this point in my life, I’m not spinning the block anymore. You can’t just keep spinning the block. You have to have self-respect, boundaries, and a sense of your own worth. If you don’t value yourself, trust and believe a man won’t value you either.”
Watch the podcast interview in full below:
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images