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We All Deserve An Upward Spiral, Here’s How To Spark Yours
There are moments in life when it feels like things just won’t seem to look up. Disappointment strikes, rejections come from all directions, and you couldn’t find the “bright side” of your situation if you held a flashlight up to it.
This mental pit, known as a ‘downward spiral,’ is an occurrence that comes from life’s circumstances but can be difficult to spot until you’re deep within it. But in order for you to shift the direction of your spiral from a downward decline to an upward trajectory, you must first be able to detect the signs of when your mental health is headed in the wrong direction.
According to Dr. Jonathan Leary, founder of the Remedy Place — a social wellness club, downward spirals can manifest in many different ways, so it's important to be aware of the signs in order to prevent further decline. “A lack of social support and connection can negatively affect mental and emotional health,” he explains. “Pay attention to signs of withdrawal from social activities, decreased interest in hobbies or relationships, or a sudden change in social patterns.”
In addition to involuntary solitude, Dr. Leary shares that mental and physical health issues such as depression, anxiety, excessive stress, chronic illnesses, or conditions that are not properly treated can lead to a decline in one’s well-being. “These signs may include changes in mood, decreased motivation or energy, difficulty concentrating, or increased irritability.”
Being able to identify the signs of our rough patch is the first step to making a pivot out of these dark moments, and once the clouds clear, it might just be time for you to spark your upward spiral.
WHAT IS AN UPWARD SPIRAL?
“An upward spiral refers to a cycle of positive changes and experiences that contribute to an individual's overall well-being and happiness,” he explains. “It involves a series of interconnected factors that build upon each other, creating an upward trajectory in various aspects of life.”
Creating these cycles of positive momentum and growth can positively impact one's well-being, confidence, and overall outlook on life. That’s why Dr. Leary says that creating your own positive feedback loop can be the fuel you need to ignite tangible change in your life. “The positive changes in one area of life can spill over into other areas — for example, improved physical health can boost self-esteem and motivation, leading to increased engagement in social activities and personal growth,” he says.
Finding your spark can start with you setting small, measurable goals to reach, pursuing personal interests, and continuously learning and growing can foster a sense of purpose and accomplishment. “As individuals make progress toward their goals, they experience a sense of self-efficacy, confidence, and satisfaction, leading to increased overall well-being,” Dr. Leary explains.
Small, positive actions can lead to bigger changes, so implementing new habits and mindsets into your daily life can not only keep the flame of your upward spiral burning bright but also lead to bigger changes in wellness.
“Cultivating a daily gratitude practice by acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life can shift focus toward the good and enhance optimism,” Dr. Leary shares. “Breaking down large goals into smaller, achievable micro-goals can provide a sense of progress and motivation, so celebrate small victories along the way, as they build confidence and momentum toward larger goals.”
He continues, “Remember, the key is to start small and gradually build upon these habits and mindsets over time. By consistently incorporating these positive actions into your daily life, you can create a ripple effect that leads to bigger changes, greater well-being, and an upward spiral in multiple areas of your life.”
HOW TO PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION:
At times, hitting a downward spiral can seem unavoidable, but there are ways to prevent things from going bad to worse, and it’s all about being proactive about noticing the first sign of distress and regularly checking in with yourself to honestly assess your physical and mental well-being. If you are on the journey toward an upward spiral, remember that practicing self-compassion can be an invaluable resource along the way.
So if you’re looking for a place to start, consider the following strategies from Dr. Leary in the slideshow below:
1. Mindful Awareness:
The Good Brigade/Getty Images
“Start by developing awareness of your self-critical thoughts and judgments. Notice when you're being hard on yourself or engaging in negative self-talk. Mindful awareness allows you to recognize these patterns and begin the process of shifting them.”
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."