

Back when I used to write devotionals three days a week (I did that for over 20 years, by the way), it was wild that, over time, far more than Christians were on the subscription list. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, folks who were even agnostic and atheist were subscribed. There are various reasons why yet something that I have always said to people who have no interest in following the Bible is, even if it ultimately played out that everything in it was fictional, the Good Book still offers up some great “morals to the story” and food for thought that pretty much all walks of life can benefit from (which is why I enjoy reading books from other faiths myself).
I think that’s why it’s so easy for me to incorporate a lot of Scripture even in my “secular” writings — because again, even if the Bible isn’t your thing, there are still some takeaways that you can benefit from…so long as you remain open-minded and willing.
Take today’s message, for example. Whether you believe that the world started in the Garden of Eden with Adam and the Woman (Eve’s name prior to sin — Genesis 2:23 & 3:20) in it or not, there are all kinds of lessons in there; one, in particular, that I share with my clients (who also come from all walks of life) often. One that, almost every single one of them has found an immense sense of relief and freedom for themselves once they took it all in.
One that, if you’re someone who is a self-professed perfectionist or you simply know that you’ve got some pretty unrealistic expectations in a certain area (or some areas) of your life, hopefully, what I’m about to share can give you some peace of mind too.
Ready? Gather your imagination together and let’s stroll through a garden for a moment.
One of the Most Missed Points About the Garden of Eden. Hands Down
People who know me know that there is no question that my favorite place in the Bible is the first two chapters of Genesis. The reason why is because that is the only place where perfection is recorded and so, to me, that is the blueprint for how those of us who follow the Bible are to live our lives. For the sake of your time and my space, I can’t get into all of the gems that are at the beginning of Genesis.
Today, if you have a Bible (you can also go toBible Gateway if you don’t), go to the first chapter and tell me what you see when you read about light in verse 4; when God separated the land from the water in verse 9; when seeds, herbs, and fruits manifested in verse 12; when the day and night were separated in verse 18; when sea creatures and birds were created in verse 21, and when other animals came forth in verse 25.
At the end of each verse, what adjective is used to define what God had done: GOOD, right? And then, once humans were made, at the end of all creation, verse 31 says that God saw things to be VERY GOOD.
Good. Theologians believe that the original language of Scripture is Hebrew andthe Hebrew word for good is “tov” which basically means “functional.” Functional means “capable of serving the purpose for which it was designed.” So, according to Scripture, only in Genesis 1-2 are we seeing the world in the way that it was created to function. This means that prior to sin, things were functional. Now, things are dysfunctional.
If that isn’t a sermon unto itself, what I really want you to zero in on is the fact that even in a state of perfection, the word “perfect” was never used — good was. My theory is that because God is all-knowing and he knew that the Woman and then Adam (yes, in that order) were going to show all the way out, he didn’t want to go with the word “perfect.” However, even after all of the tree drama and sin entered into the earth (Genesis 3), guess what things could still be? GOOD.
Perfect means things like “excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement,” “entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings,” “matching in every detail the definition of an ideal type of something,” “thorough or complete; absolute” and “pure” — a lofty standard indeed. Yet again, even in the state of things being perfect, Scripture says that God preferred to go with the word “good” to describe what he had done.
Is good a lot? It is. Yet is it less stressful than perfect? 1000 percent. So, tell me something: If in the state of (biblical) perfection, when things were as functional as can be, since even God himself didn’t state that things were perfect (again, because I think he knew that sin was coming!), why, when things can’t get more dysfunctional in society and culture, on a billion different levels, than they are right now, are you stressing yourself out to not be content, satisfied, at peace with reaching the goal of good?
Why isn’t GOOD…good enough?
Why Perfectionism Works Against Not for You
Although it probably seems obvious that this would be an ideal read for people who are self-professed perfectionists, the reason why I think that everyone should at least skim it is that some folks are perfectionists-in-denial — and it’s mostly because they aren’t aware of whatsome of the traits are that come with actually being one. I’ll share seven:
- Perfectionists have unrealistic standards and expectations
- Perfectionists do a lot of things with fear (of failure) as their motivation
- Perfectionists tend to be big-time procrastinators (due to the whole fear of failure thing)
- Perfectionists are unteachable and quite defensive
- Perfectionists are inflexible and have an all-or-nothing kind of attitude
- Perfectionists are hella critical
- Perfectionists oftentimes have low levels of self-esteem that they mask
Okay, so now that you’re taking all of this in, are there certain points that you’re able to personally resonate with? With your friendships, do you have unrealistic expectations? In your relationships, are you inflexible? At work, are you a procrastinator or perhaps super critical of other people? If you’re nodding your head “yes,” all the while saying to yourself, “I mean, what’s wrong with that?” — two points.
One, Ionce read an article that featured a study about how coworkers absolutely prefer to not work with perfectionists. The reason why is that many individuals find them to be draining, pressuring, and full of unrealistic expectations. Something that I also found to be interesting about the read is perfectionists tend to live in what is known as “the tyranny of should” which reminds me of something that a friend of mine often says: “’Should’ is how a person decides how they think things should be that usually based on their own ego; not everything should be a certain way just because you decide that it…well, should.”
Adding to that, the article goes on to share that perfectionism is tied to stress, mental health challenges, eating disorders, and plain ole’ burnout. Know what else? It’s due to perfectionism that many remain stagnant or quit things that they’ve started. What could possibly be good about that?
Second point: perfectionists have a tendency to not be able to take what they dish out. What I mean by that is, while they oftentimes extend very little mercy or grace to others when it comes to how they think that things should be or should go, whenever they mess up, here come all of the excuses and justifications. Why? Because they are so caught up in wanting things to look flawless (when it comes to themselves) they will dodge accountability and gaslight in order to keep the façade of their own perfection going. What is good about that?
Adding to all of this, another article that I read on perfectionism said that it can cause people to feel very self-defeated, simply due to the fact that their own high goals can be overwhelming and so, “By avoiding mistakes at any cost, a perfectionist can make it harder to reach their own lofty goals.” What in the entire world is good about that?
Gee, I don’t know about you but the more that I read about trying to be perfect, not only does the outcome not even come close to being perfect, there’s not much good that comes from it either.
So, now that you see all of this, does the title of this piece make more sense to you? Why strive for perfection when strive means things like “to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict” and to fight or struggle? Why not go a bit easier on and be realistic with yourself and aim for “good” instead — because to me, good is where it’s totally at.
Why Good, Not Perfect, Is Actually Best
Since I write mostly in the relationship lane, let me start to bring all of this home with a relationship goals example. I’ve shared before that, personally, very few things irk me more than when someone says that they are “waiting on their fairy tale” (insert a million eye rolls here).
Fairy tales aren’t real. Fairy tales, by definition, are stories for children. Plus, those who are on some “I want the princess treatment” — princesses are the daughters of fathers; in a relationship, a queen is the wife of a man — a king and she has a lot more responsibilities than a princess does (another message for another time, chile — Proverbs 12:4). So, already, just putting that kind of energy and mindset out into the universe, you are being unrealistic. I’ll keep adding on to all of this, though.
Now say that in your fairy tale, you want a 2.0 version of a 6-6-6 guy (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”). He’s got to have six figures, be at least 6’ feet tall (only 15 percent of men in America are that, by the way) and his package must be no less than 6.” Plus, he should be the kind of man who causes mouths to drop whenever he enters the room and, somehow, he should be hella ambitious and yet can be available for your every beck and call (that’s not really how ambition works, but…). In your mind, it’s a standard — oh, but is it really? Looks to me more like you are one hell of a (relational) perfectionist.
First of all, don’t even get me started on how many people who barely have $300 in their savings account think they should be with a wealthy individual; what you desire, you should certainly try, hard, to be. My main point, though, is this: FOLKS WHO LIKE THE “GOOD” IN LIFE KNOW HOW TO BE SATISFIED WITH LESS THAN PERFECTION. Just peep the definitions of good:
Good: righteous; satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree; right, proper, fit; well-behaved; kind, beneficent, or friendly; in good standing; educated or refined; financially sound or safe; genuine not counterfeit; sound or valid; reliable, dependable, responsible; healthful; beneficial; comfortable; pleasant; free from distress or pain; attractive; competent; socially proper; remaining available to one (whew!); satisfactory for the purpose
Instead of being out here waiting for the perfect man — eh hem, when you yourself are not perfect — why not a good one? Does he have to be fine as hell or can he be “attractive”? Does he have to have millions (good luck) or can he be “financially sound”? Does he need to have a PhD or can he be “educated” (and there are a lot of ways to be that way)? After all, all of the words in quotes, they define what it means to be good and again, you’re not perfect…why not be intentional about being a good woman, so that you can connect with a good man?
Why isn’t that GOOD ENOUGH for you? Is your perfectionism tripping you up?
And listen, how truly awesome is it that the last two definitions that I listed for good are as, well, good as they are? If you have a man with an exclusive mindset (he is available to one) and you know what purpose a relationship is to serve in your life (do you?!) — a man who checks those boxes…shouldn’t you be completely satisfied with that? A kind, friendly, dependable, reliable man who you feel comfortable around who is righteous and genuine? That’s a GOOD man right there. Why pass him by because you’d prefer (even if it’s subconsciously) to stress yourself out with standards of perfection? Y’all, don’t tell me that I ain’t preachin’ here. LOL.
Oh — and best believe that all of what I said about relationships can apply to virtually any area of your life. I promise you that if you are someone who is caught up in the unrealistic world of perfectionism, once you choose (because it is always a choice) to be satisfied and content in life, you start to desire what is far more attainable: GOOD — and when you get to that place, more times than not, you realize that good wasn’t merely “good enough;” it actually is what was the absolute BEST for you.
It is author and speaker Brené Brown who once said, “Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’” She’s right and I can promise you that, the more content you become with yourself, the less you will care about perfectionism (including what others think) anyway.
After all of this, do you get how ridiculously counterproductive that way of life is…how, at the end of the day, it is never truly meant for your — well, GOOD.
Be good to yourself. Go for what is GOOD. It’s the best thing going. Guaranteed.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
- No, You Don't Have To Make Healing Your Entire Personality ›
- Ever Wonder If Your Man Is Actually Holding You Back In Life? ›
- I’m Good Luv, Enjoy: How Saying 'No' Keeps Your Life Balance In Check ›
- How These Working Moms Find Balance Amid The Demands Of Work & Family Life ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Can You Really Make Your Hair Grow Faster? Depends On How You Look At It.
Four years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Let's Gain An Inch A Month Of Hair Growth 'Til December, Shall We?” The main reason why I did it was because, I feel like almost every week, I will see someone on social media (male and female alike) say that Black women aren’t able to grow long hair — and boy, does it truly piss me off.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a trillion times before: So long as your hair is growing, you can grow long hair. It might take longer than other people, yes — and I will get to win why in just a moment. However, more than anything, what affects length is length retention, and what impacts that is if you’re doing things that result in you losing the ends of your hair at about the same speed as the roots of your hair are growing in.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? If I really want some serious inches and/or I want my hair to grow faster, there are ways to do it? Believe it or not, the short answer to that is “yes.” Adding to that initial yes, YES, you will need to be methodical. YES, you will need to be consistent. YES, you will need to be patient. Yet if you’re willing to make that type of commitment and then apply at least 3-4 of the following 10 suggestions, you really could end up reaching hair goals that you’ve never been able to reach before.Inches upon inches…and even a bit faster than what you’ve been accustomed to experiencing.
I’ll Be Real With You: Genetics Dictates Speed, Texture, Color and Length — to an Extent
Okay, so let’s first get into something that can’t be helped via any tip or hack: genetics. When it comes to things like texture, color, density, and, to a certain extent, length — yes, that is predetermined by your DNA. This means that the reality is, the reason why some people can get hair down to their butt while others can’t seem to get past their bra strap is because hair has a growth cycle and some people’s anagen phase (the phase that literally determines how long your hair will grow) is simply longer than others.
When it comes to this, in particular, it’s also important to keep in mind that diet, age, and the condition of your health can also play a role in lengthening or shortening your anagen phase; however, so long as your hair is growing 1/4”-1/2” a month and you are able to retain length, you should be able to at least get a very nice lob (long bob) going.
Also, while we’re here, please don’t fall for the STRAIGHT UP LIE that only other ethnicities have longer anagen phases. Aside from the video that you just watched, examples like these here, here, here, here, here, here and here and here are living proof that regardless of ethnicity or texture, some women have hella long anagen phases — including many Black women.
And what about speed (which is the main focus of today’s piece)? Well, although there are some things that you can do to stimulate your hair follicles, which could get them to grow a bit faster, the main thing that you should be concerned with is taking such good care of your hair that you don’t end up breaking it off or causing it to weaken — because strong hair that can retain length is going to give the impression that your hair is growing faster because you aren’t losing any more of it than you actually should (which shouldn’t be more than 50-100 strands on a daily basis, by the way).
So, with all of the science stuff out of the way, here are 10 things that you can do that will either stimulate hair growth or help you maintain the locks that you’ve already got.
10 Proven Ways To Grow Your Hair Faster
1. Take a Multivitamin
When it comes to the gaslighting of health-related issues in this country — geeze, where do we start? For instance, how wild is it that “some folks” believe that taking a multivitamin is pointless? Meanwhile, pharma will push commercials down our throats — meds that come with side effects that are oftentimes worse than the health problem that it’s supposed to treat, to begin with. Not to mention the fact that research shows that over 90 percent of us don’t get enough vitamin D, almost 90 percent of us could use more vitamin E, 50 percent of us need more magnesium and around 40 percent of us are deficient as it relates to calcium as well as vitamins A and C.
So yes, while maintaining a healthy diet is the best way to get your system what it needs, if you want to “fill in some gaps,” a multivitamin can certainly be beneficial.
As far as your hair goes, your tresses need: zinc for healthy hair follicles; vitamin A to keep your scalp well-moisturized; vitamin C to boost collagen (and give your hair more elasticity); biotin to prevent hair thinning and hair loss; iron to provide your hair follicles with oxygen, and vitamin E to keep your scalp healthy and your hair moisturized — goodness! Instead of taking a lot of different supplements, decide instead to knock all of these nutrients out by taking one multivitamin on a daily basis. A list of some highly recommended brands can be found here.
2. Consume More Protein
Your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), so it definitely needs some of that in order to thrive. In fact, some health experts say that if your hair isn’t growing at the rate that it should, it could be because you don’t have enough protein in your system. That said, if you’re a meat eater, steak, lamb, chicken, and turkey can all do your hair a lot of good. If you’re not, I actually penned an article with you in mind a while back. Check out “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.” when you get a chance.
Unsplash
3. Try Some Coffee Beans on Your Scalp
In my opinion, coffee is always going to be a polarizing topic. On one hand, if you drink too much of it, it can cause a few problems with your health (check out “Your Morning Coffee May Be Causing More (Health) Issues Than You Think”). On the other, if you’re looking for ways to incorporate it into your beauty routine, it can bless you in some pretty unexpected ways (check out “Why Caffeine Is Great For You On The Beauty Regimen Tip”).
Take your scalp, for example. Using coffee as a hair rinse can help to keep the pH level of your scalp where it’s supposed to be. Also, if the beans are ground up, you can exfoliate your scalp with them in order to remove dead skin cells and product buildup so that your hair follicles are able to grow — sometimes faster since the caffeine that’s in coffee can help to stimulate hair growth.
4. Add Oil to Your Shampoo
When your hair is dry, that can lead to breakage because moisture is critical when you’re trying to keep some inches on your head. And you know what? When you shampoo your hair, although it’s cleansing your scalp and tresses (and stimulating your scalp which can help your hair to grow a bit faster), it’s also stripping your hair of its natural oils — and that isn’t a good thing.
A hack? Add a carrier oil like rosemary, olive, avocado, jojoba, or soybean, so that your shampoo won’t be able to dry your hair out so easily or much. (P.S. This is also a great tip if you don’t have a lot of time to deep condition your hair sometimes.)
Unsplash
5. Never Go Without Bond Builder
Another article that I want you to check out when you get a chance is “Everything You Need To Know About Bond-Building Your Hair.” Listen, my life (hair-wise) has totally changed ever since I added this extra step into my wash day. That’s because bond-building products are able to reduce breakage, make your locks stronger, decrease frizz, make your hair softer and more manageable, and even help to protect your cuticles — especially if your hair happens to be color-treated. I’m telling you, if you didn’t get anything else out of this read, get you some bond-builder products.
My (current) personal favorites are Marc Anthony's Repairing Hair Mask, Repair Bond + Rescuplex, and Repairing Leave-In Conditioner. Just for the record.
6. Apply an Essential/Carrier Oil Blend to Your Scalp and Ends
It can never be said enough that the ends of your hair are the oldest parts of it. And so, if you don’t take care of them, I don’t care how fast your hair grows out of your scalp, you aren’t going to see much progress because your ends will be weak, split, or snapping off left and right. Something that you can do to avoid all of this is to apply an essential oil and carrier oil blend to them. For instance, a mixture of rosemary and cedarwood will not only strengthen your ends, it’s great for your scalp in the sense that it will help to increase blood circulation to your hair follicles (which can help your hair to grow faster) as well as soothe your scalp if it happens to be itchy and/or irritated.
Unsplash
7. Use a Conditioning Spray on a Regular Basis
Something else that I would definitely do a free commercial for: Bronner Brothers's Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray. Whew, chile! Since my hair can never seem to retain enough moisture (check out “Is Your Hair Dry No Matter What You Do? I Can Relate.”), this spray has been a real lifesaver in between wash days because, even though it “acts” like a regular oil sheen, I’ve yet to come across a spray (that isn’t wet) that keeps my hair super soft and manageable. Yeah, if your locks are on the drier side and you don’t want to add water to them, a conditioning spray is definitely the way to go.
8. Be “Drink Conscious”
A couple of years ago, I read an article that said that when men consume, even one soda on a daily basis, that could make them more susceptible to hair loss. That got me to wondering about what can be consumed that will help with hair growth. Carrot juice is like a multivitamin for your hair thanks to the vitamins A, B, C, and E that are in it to keep it strong as well as the antioxidants that help to increase blood flow; the high amount of water, as well as the potassium, iron, amino acids and vitamins C and K, help coconut water to deeply hydrate your scalp, strengthen your hair and reduce the potential for hair loss, and the properties in green tea can help to prevent hormonal hair loss.
Getty Images
9. Massage Your Scalp (at Night)
Throughout this article, I’ve mentioned a few things that you can do to stimulate blood circulation to your scalp and hair follicles. I’ve also said that when you do that, it can help to speed up hair growth to a certain extent. Well, out of all of the things that you can (and should) do to accomplish this particular mission, giving yourself a scalp massage, at least a couple of times a week (for 10-15 minutes each time), is probably the most effective.
It reduces head tension and stress, helps to strengthen your hair over time and it can even make your hair strands thicker. My two cents would be to warm up an essential oil like lavender, thyme, or peppermint, add it to a bit of grapeseed oil (which is packed with antioxidants), and then use your fingertips to gently rub your scalp. Not only does it feel amazing, the oils will deeply condition and nourish your hair in the process.
10. Reduce Your Stress Levels
If you’ve heard before that stress can lead to hair loss and even premature graying — that’s not a myth; it’s totally true. As far as hair loss (and growth) goes, that’s because, when your cortisol levels are elevated, that can extend your hair’s resting phase — which basically means that it can “stunt” your hair’s progress. And chile, from where I’m sitting, that’s just one more reason to determine that you will not allow any person, place, thing, or idea to stress you out this year! Not only is it not good for your health, but it could also totally wreck your hair goals. And nothing is worth that, right? Precisely.
Chill out. Grow hair. That’s the motto for this year, sis. Straight up.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Manu Vega/Getty Images