It's been some months since that vision board party where you and your friends vowed to manifest the lives you know you deserve. Everyone brought some food, drinks and old magazines. As you cut out images that represent your deep desires and pasted it to a large cardboard, you became excited about the possibilities for this year.
Maybe you went home and hung it up on the bedroom wall so you can look at it every night before going into a dream state. Or, you were bold enough to have it on display in the living room as a constant reminder of the life you want. Every day, you've been holding the vision, taking action steps and being steadfast in faith. Even when your mind started to betray you, you kept a positive attitude. But, let's be honest. Nothing is materializing and you're about to snap!
There's nothing wrong with having a clear vision for how you want to experience life. In the book, Truth, Triumph and Transformation, by Sandra Anne Taylor, she adds, "Life isn't only about making money or owning nice things, and the energy of the world has a far broader purpose. Limiting our viewpoint will actually reduce the profound power that energy and consciousness can bring to your daily life…"
Although you can never separate yourself from the Source of all creation, there are several reasons why the energy is limited or blocked from materializing into your desires.
Your Desires Are Not Aligned with Your Divine Mission
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You are a spirit having a human experience. Spirit is eternal and has chosen to materialize as you for a specific time and reason that goes beyond enjoying physical sensations.
You have unique gifts, skills and talents that are to be shared with the world. No one else has this treasure trove the way you do or can share it like you. When these superpowers are charged with an intention that benefits all creation, you are aligning yourself with your mission.
Maybe you want a certain car to prove that you "made it". You can change your intention to manifest that same car because it will help you travel wherever you need to go to share your gifts with people who need them.
When your desires are aligned with the greatest and highest good for all, the world opens up to you.
Your Eating Habits Lower Your Vibration
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In general, people know having a positive attitude keeps your energy high, and makes it easier to attract what you want. Food is also energy. Either it is increasing your vibration or diminishing it.
Everyone is designed to serve humanity or fulfill their mission in a variety of ways. You may see someone eating junk food all day everyday that can manifest whatever they want in life. But that might not be you. How do you know? Look at your life.
Your present existence is always giving you feedback. And it doesn't lie.
Think of a time when you cut back on sweets and started exercising. Did you have more energy? Did you feel like you were in the flow of life? Did you get more clarity? Were you able to resolve some issues?
Try an experiment. For the next 30 days, choose three items to remove from your diet. They must be things you love, but know you don't have any business eating. And no cheating! Journal daily so you can keep track of any out-of-the-ordinary occurrences.
This experiment will also help release any guilt, shame or judgment you may feel by eating something you think isn't good for you. This will improve your vibration. See, it's already working!
Low-Energy Sexual Partner(s)
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There was a woman who thought her husband gave her a STD. She felt a burning sensation every time they had sex. She visited the doctor several times, and each time, the doctor gave her the same results: Nothing.
Finally, she had a dream, which revealed that she didn't want to be married anymore. Her body was literally communicating to her that he was no longer allowed in the temple. Once she admitted this truth, the symptoms were gone. And so was he. Remember, you have a divine mission, and the entire universe aligns itself to support you in fulfilling it. Free will is a gift and a curse.
You must be honest about the type of partner with whom you have chosen to exchange energy. That's exactly what it is, an exchange of energy.
At some point in your life, you've walked away from relationships because it was too draining. They caused confusion. You were on their emotional roller coaster. And at the end of the day, the relationship was all about you being there for them. This is part of Energy Vampire-ism. More on that later.
For right now, the question is: Are you receiving loving, healthy energy that helps sustain your high vibration or even increase it? If not, then you have to choose: Do you want short-term physical satisfaction or live a better quality of life?
Truth be told: Your intuition told you about them when they opened their mouth to speak to you. So, you know what to do.
Unhealthy Relationship with Money
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Have you ever wanted a certain amount of money and got it? How did it feel? It probably felt like heaven – for a moment. But then, you noticed that high is steadily dissipating into one of two things: uneasiness or boredom.
If you feel a little anxious after receiving money, then it might be because you know another financial problem is just around the corner.
This can become a vicious cycle – need some money, receive money, spend money, and broke again. You're in a constant state of worry and may sacrifice self-love and self-respect to get your needs met. You accept less pay, work in an unhealthy environment or succumb to other conditions that compromise your well-being. Your life is focused on surviving, not thriving at the highest level of existence.
Or, your bills are paid and you have a certain amount of "disposable income." And so, you throw it away on meaningless items. Your direct deposit hits midnight Friday. By Monday morning, you're out $300 and have nothing of real value to show for it. Money has no real meaning to you.
The money you have now is the materialization of Spirit. Be grateful. Pay your bills with appreciation.
Never say you don't have enough because that paycheck was never meant to make you rich. It was to pay you for a service. That's it. The infinite Presence of the Most High is the Source of all wealth, which includes prosperity, divine health, and relationships, love, joy, creativity, success, etc.
Does your monthly bank statement reflect your beliefs and principles? Every time you purchase something, it is an investment in your values. At its best, money is a spiritual tool supporting you to fulfill your mission. Charge your money with an intention to use it to serve your higher calling. The energy will flow with a greater purpose and will be aligned with the Universe.
Energy Vampire-ism
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Energy is the force that fuels all life. You can't exist without it. Our society thrives on the exchange of energy. We trade time, gifts and talents for payment. We barter our resources for a variety of reasons. College students intern for free to receive exposure and invaluable skill sets. On the other end of the spectrum, once there was a male friend who paid an electricity bill on a monthly basis in exchange for guaranteed sex.
Constantly trading resources to get our needs met can condition us to think our source of energy should come from another person. When this happens, there are usually unmet expectations and hurt feelings.
Your partner expects you to make them happy even though they have no clue about what brings them joy. A boss tells you he/she is disappointed with your performance as if your actions control how they feel. That's a sneaky one. Your work performance may not meet the requirements, but your boss must manage him/her own emotional response to it, not you. Don't let your boss program you to think it's your responsibility to make them happy through your work. Anyway...
This type of energy vampire-ism is noticeable because you'll feel tired and weary. What about energy vampires that are undetectable?
It can be argued the worst energy vampire is the energy of indifference and idleness.
How much time do you spend on social media or online? You've had the experience of checking some celeb's page, and an hour later, you're looking at something stupid, just killing time. Or you accept a phone call your intuition told you to decline. You listen to them talk and may even have a few laughs. Afterwards, you're not drained, but you're not energized either. In fact, if you had not answered the call, your life wouldn't have missed it.
You think no harm was done. Well, time is an illusion.
All you have is now. You breathe now. Your heart beats now. You exist in the now. And if you're spending all of your existence on frivolous things that doesn't move you closer to your vision, you aren't harnessing the energy necessary to attract what you really want.
For the next 30 days, limit your social and online playtime to one hour a day. Then, record in your journal your daily accomplishments. You will be able to track your energy investments, and your progress to manifesting your desires.
As Taylor says in the book, "You can deny it if you want, but you do have an eternal identity; and your soul has its own intentions. Unfortunately, they may be entirely different from your personal intentions of making money or achieving success. The truth is that when you align your soul's intention with your goals, you'll unlock all the mysteries and open the door to ultimate abundance."
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on May 16, 2019.
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Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023