What if you could combine all the things you love about hip-hop with a way to take better care of yourself? If that sounds like your cup of tea, then meet Shanae Jones the Hip-Hop Herbalist.
She is the founder of Ivy's Tea Company, a hip-hop influenced holistic health brand with a collection of handcrafted herbal teas and herb-infused sweeteners. Her products have taken a life of its own with catchy names like #TrapTea and equally clever descriptions that instantly reel customers in, but it's the delicious taste and sweet aroma that keeps them coming back for more.
This former executive assistant turned entrepreneur/herbalist shares her journey from working with a Quaker lobbying organization to creating safe spaces for black women and men in the holistic industry.
Courtesy of Shanae Jones
How did you come up with the title hip-hop herbalist?
It kind of came from other people. I'm happy too because I always wanted a nickname but I didn't get one (laughs). Now, I have one that I guess goes with my career, my passion. It just kinda came from the way I moved tea and I mixed it with herbs. [My] trap tea sort of took off on Twitter and this is just what it became, so that's how a lot of people [now] refer to me.
What was the concept behind hip-hop influenced herbal tea?
Well, I find that hip-hop is a great teaching tool and I see no reason why herbalism and herbal tea or any tea shouldn't be a part of that teaching. For me, it was quite simple; it was just very easy for me to see that connection between hip-hop and herbal tea. The common nature of hip-hop and also the common nature of herbalism and herbal tea. It's not considered highbrow medicine, and for a lot of people, hip-hop isn't considered this really incredible musical genre.
While I would disagree, there are parallels in that that also herbalism kinda deals with when it comes to conventional medicine. It was really easy for me to see the connection. I knew hip-hop, so [I] was like, I'm going to do something that I'm confident in and comfortable with and I can work with something I don't know much about.
I can make those parallels that people don't see. And I can bring it to people and make it plain for them to understand.
Courtesy of Shanae Jones
Why the name 'Ivy's Tea Co.'?
Naming a business is actually hard because you're like, 'I can't come up with anything!' But one day, it just rolled off the tongue.
I thought that I could name it after my grandmother. Her name was Ivy and she left Jamaica for a better life in London at a very early age. I think she was 16 or 17 years old. Ivy was kickass and very brave and I thought I should take that same energy and same spirit with me as I'm going on to do something very risky.
Being an entrepreneur is probably as risky as it gets and so I decided to name my company after her and it made sense and it sounded good. On the flipside, Ivy kinda smoked and she drank a lot. It probably wasn't the best idea to name a holistic health brand after her but her bravery was important to me and so I decided I would go with that.
Courtesy of Instagram/ @ivysteaco
Do you believe your British-Jamaican heritage influenced you as an entrepreneur?
Sometimes I would like to say 'no,' but sometimes when I look back I could see, [for example] my family owned a Jamaican restaurant. When I was in middle school and high school, I would work there. I would leave school and take the bus to work with my mom and grandmother in the evenings. I saw my family working together and I saw the freedom of entrepreneurship but I think that's why when I think about it, it gave me a real glimpse of how hard it is.
My grandmother now, she doesn't clean chicken at all, you can't get her to touch a chicken because she cleaned so many while she was working at the restaurant. It showed me the grit and it showed me the staffing problems, delivery issues--how do you promote? How do you market? And this was at a time where there wasn't really [any] social media so it gave me a real insight on what it is to be an entrepreneur.
I learned not to quit and I learned that it's not as glamorous as people online would make it look, so I at least got to see that upfront.
I do drink a lot of tea and I always have ever since I was younger. That's how I bonded with my mother and grandmother, just over cups of tea. It's how I grew into womanhood, it's how I learned a lot about my family, that's how I learned about gossip and I learned about news and socio-political issues. I got to learn about my mother and grandmother over those cups of tea so I guess it was the one thing that introduced me to tea, but the tea I make now is so different than what we had and it's so different from what people tend to think of when they think of British tea.
Courtesy of Instagram / @ivysteaco
Besides clever names like "PushaTea" and "What the Flu," what makes Ivy Tea Co. unique?
I'd say it's the mission behind the brand and that is to bring more black people into the holistic health industry and to change the scope of what holistic living is and what tea culture is.
The company is really all about shifting perspectives and subverting assumptions and in some ways, it is to offend people.
To get people to no longer take what they're used to and kinda flip it on its head and to say everything you think you know is wrong and I think that's really important as businesses grow and brands grow. There are lots of big trends we see about having a big face in front of the company and it's all about personality and how people buy into people and not brands per se but I feel that brands and businesses, in general, have the ability to shift American culture and the ability to create the America we want to see and mine is that I want to see a lot more inclusivity of black and brown people.
What are some obstacles you've encountered being a black woman in this space?
Well first off, a lot of people who drink tea don't think that hip-hop is necessary for it. They think that I should make it and make the brand, they would say, "more inclusive," but what they really mean is that they want to see less black people in the ad. They want the language to be a little "less black" but it's me.
When I make product descriptions online or I'm making a caption, it's my voice. I'm speaking the way that I speak on a regular basis not with any regard, it's not that I'm doing this intentionally, I'm just being my authentic self.
I also feel like the holistic health industry is full of wellness porn. Everybody's doing it, everybody's moaning, everybody is having a good time but they all got paid. It's not authentic, and I feel like I have to use my voice to kinda change that and of course, it's scary sometimes to be the first person over the hill, but I'm willing to do that.
I don't feel like I have much to lose, so I can take that chance but it is certainly a challenge. A lot of people don't want to see the brand the way that it is but I have proof of concept. I have customers who come back again and again. I have first time customers who come and are very appreciative of the fact that they can see themselves and hear themselves in the branding and that's enough for me to keep going because I know if I got them, then I can get one more and I can keep going and that's the point of the whole thing. I welcome the challenges. If it were too easy I think I probably would have quit by now.
Courtesy of Instagram / @ivysteaco
We've seen a rise in holistic awareness especially in the black community, but there are still some misconceptions about holistic medicine. How does your herbal teas address that?
I try to step away from that. I don't feel that Ivy Tea Company is here to address any misconceptions. It's gonna be there no matter what but we are here to bring acceptance and inclusivity into the industry and to create a space with people who have questions about holistic health but don't look like or live like the typical wellness guru. I want those people to come to me and feel comfortable asking questions and I want them to feel invited to approach the industry.
We don't have a medical industry in this country right now [for] holistic medicine or even alternative medicine practices like homeopathy, for example. Outside of the states, they do all the time but there are big pharmaceutical companies and lots of money to be made, so anything that encourages you to do something outside of taking a pill is oftentimes discouraged.
That's what herbalists like myself have to overcome and so that's why I feel like I'm here to stand in the gap. That's why it's important that I do this work but that I get more involved and give back to the community in a way. I don't want to address the misconceptions but I'll at least add information to it to make it a little more understandable as something you can take in conjunction to what you already know as far as conventional medicine is concerned.
What are the benefits of living a more holistic life?
I can speak for myself and say that it is a more focused, much more disciplined life. I also have much more self-confidence. I'm just a lot healthier because when you have teas and things, it's typically dry herbs but also when I cook my own food now, I use fresh herbs. I'm like the parsley person now, you know black chefs love to put parsley on everything.
I'm using fresh mint, I'm using fresh basil, I'm more into green juices and I'm also more interested in it. I used to have dry scalp, I used to suffer from a lot of migraines, and I no longer have those problems so for me the benefits have been tremendous.
You can find her products on www.ivystea.com. Follow Shanae on Instagram @ivysteaco.
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
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Thread Goals
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Renowned
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Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
So…apparently, there was once a Parade survey of 1,001 married Americans concerning sex.
Surprisingly (at least, to me), 88 percent of them said that their sex lives made them happy or they were at least “reasonably content” with it. The reason why that surprises me is because 1) I’m aware that somewhere around 15 percent of marriages are currently sexless; 2) only about half of people have sex on a weekly basis, and 3) if that many folks are indeed that satisfied in the bedroom, why do so many of us who work with long-term couples always hear otherwise?
Then, I paused and pondered on the “reasonably content” part. I don’t know about you, but to me, that doesn’t sound like hanging-off-of-the-chandeliers kind of sex. That’s more like, “I’ll take it however and whenever I can get it” sex — and, in my eyes, that’s just not good enough. To me, sex is a beautifully wondrous thing that should reach the peak of pleasure as much as possible.
Fortunately, I do know a few couples who profess to have great (awesome, fabulous, and tremendous) sex pretty much every time that they have it. Even though most of them aren’t familiar with each other, interestingly enough, they all agree that while skill and technique play a role in amazing coitus, there are other factors that can prevent great sex from transpiring, too.
I did some researching, interviewing, and reviewing of past sessions that I’ve had with couples, and here are the 10 things that continue to come up, as far as being barriers to the kind of sex that every single person deserves — sex that doesn’t just leave you feeling “reasonably content” (goodness, let’s raise that bar, please).
1. You’re Not the Best of Friends
GiphyBefore getting into this one, let me just say that I’m not referring to a “friends with benefits” dynamic. Although some of those do end up transitioning from being sex buddies to a full-blown relationship, some studies say that only about 15 percent of them do, and that’s not the greatest odds on the planet (for the record, around 28 percent are able to go back to being just friends as well).
No, what I’m referring to here is it’s wise to experience physical intimacy with someone who has the qualities of being one of your absolute closest friends: they’re honest, supportive, compassionate, loyal, communicate well, and they definitely are someone who you consider to be a safe space. When you’re in a relationship with someone who you also consider to be one of your dearest (if not dearest) friends, there is an incomparable level of trust and peace that makes intimacy that much easier — and special.
2. You Need to Get a Check-Up
GiphyIf you were to ask a group of people if they should get an annual check-up, they would probably say “yes.” Hmph, problem is, only about one-fifth of us actually do it, and when it comes to our libidos, that can be (potentially) problematic as hell. The reason why I say that is sometimes “not being in the mood” has very little to do with anything emotional, psychological, or relational; it’s actually a result of not taking the best care of your health.
Things like obesity, hormonal imbalances (including perimenopause and menopause), certain medications, stress, and good old-fashioned aging can be the underlying culprits, and if that is indeed the issue, as much as you might think that Google can cure everything, you actually need a medical professional to confirm what is going on — and what you need to do in order to rectify the situation.
3. You’re Not Affirming and Affectionate on a Daily Basis
GiphyQuestion: When was the last time that you gave your partner a sincere compliment? Believe it or not, there are studies that support the fact that complimenting others not only boosts their self-esteem and confidence levels but it also creates an atmosphere for clearer communication while motivating and causing the individual on the receiving end to feel valued. Not only that, but the person who gives the compliments ends up feeling happier and more grateful, too.
As far as affection goes, aside from the fact that it helps you to feel emotionally closer to your partner, there are health benefits to consider as well. Kissing, cuddling, and even holding hands can help to decrease stress levels, lower blood pressure, and even strengthen your immune system. The way I like to look at this is affirmations are a verbal form of foreplay, while affection is a PG version of it — and when it comes to experiencing great sex, foreplay should always be in the mix.
4. You Don’t Plan Dates (and Then Actually Go on Them)
GiphyI’ve got a girlfriend who’s been married for several decades and hardly ever gets taken out on dates by her husband. In his mind, it’s kind of a waste of money; he’d rather be a “great provider” than a romantic kind of dude. Problem is, her top love language is quality time, and so, not dating frustrates her more than most. You know what, though? Their story isn’t rare. In fact, some studies indicate that over half of the married couples in this country never go out on dates. SMDH.
There are dozens of reasons why this is not a good idea as far as “divorce-proofing” your marriage goes; however, since this article is about sex, specifically, quality time strengthens emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy improves the quality of one’s sex life. So, if you’re in a long-term relationship, your sex life is ho-hum, and you can’t remember the last time you and your partner actually went out together — perhaps it’s time to connect those dots.
5. Your Relationship Is Not Your Top Priority
GiphyIf I had to choose one main issue that keeps me in business (as far as marriage life coaching is concerned), it’s that one or both spouses in a marriage “forget” (I put that in quotes because sometimes they literally forget and sometimes it’s more of a passive-aggressive choice) to make their partner their very top priority (under God, that is). When it comes to this particular topic, a priority is defined as being “the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence” and when you say “I do” to someone, that is a part of what you are publicly declaring — that they are going to take precedence over everyone else in your world.
And what are some indications that your partner is your top priority? You are proactive rather than reactive when it comes to their needs. You are quick to want to resolve problems while being slow to create them. You consistently want them to feel heard, validated, and safe. You make them aware that they are a part of both your short and long-term plans. Empathy is a foundational part of the relationship. And honey, when two people do this for each other outside of the bedroom, how can there not be fireworks inside of it? Straight up.
6. Your Kids Are Taking Over
GiphyI always find it interesting whenever people get triggered by my saying that children should never come before marriage. For one thing, the marriage existed first. Secondly, kids aren’t adults; they don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to find balance in their needs or demands; adults need to be the ones to regulate both. And third, have you read how divorce affects/impacts kids even well into their adulthood?
At the end of the day, children want happy parents and there’s a greater chance that will happen when husbands and wives put their relationship first. Unfortunately, even with all of the data that supports my points, a lot of people still let their kids take over their entire lives — including their bedroom and that can lead to, not only a “less than” sex life but a completely ruined one, if you’re not careful.
That’s why I think it’s important for parents to read articles like HuffPost’s “We Decided To Tell Our Kids When We’re Having Sex. Here’s Why — And What Happened After.” and also ones that I’ve penned for the platform like, “Married Couples, Here's How To Make (More) Time For Sex,” “How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids” and even “10 New Moms Share What They Wish They Knew About Sex Post-Delivery.” The takeaway here is kids are to be a part of your life — not all of it.
7. The Chemistry Is Off
GiphyChemistry is an interesting thing because, although it is pretty necessary when it comes to having a fulfilling sex life, science is still trying to figure out just how to narrow it down. According to a particular article that I read, a featured sex therapist said that sexual chemistry is a combination of attraction, hormones, and even a combination of pleasant memories and/or nostalgia. Another article said that the level of brain chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine that naturally arise when we’re around certain people (vs. others) cannot be underestimated either.
To me, when it comes to (sexual) chemistry, I think my biggest takeaway is if there is something that you can’t really fake, that would be it, and so, while you shouldn’t rely on chemistry alone when it comes to cultivating a healthy and long-lasting relationship, if, after about three dates or so, there is no “spark,” don’t play that down. Sex is an essential part of a committed relationship, which means that chemistry, on some level, absolutely needs to be present and accounted for.
8. There Is Sexual Frustration
GiphyWhenever I hear someone say, “I’m not angry; I’m frustrated,” I always appreciate that level of self-awareness because being frustrated isn’t about being resentful so much as it’s about being disappointed — and sexual disappointment can happen in a billion different ways. Maybe the quality of sex has decreased. Perhaps you’re not having as much sex as you would like. Could it be that you want more spontaneity or romance, and your partner rarely, if ever, seems to rise to the occasion? Or shoot, maybe your sexual wants and needs have changed, and your partner doesn’t want to make the necessary adjustments.
A part of the reason why I’ve penned articles for the platform like “7 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Giving Them Some” and “9 Sex-Related Questions You & Your Partner Should Ask Each Other. Tonight.” is because the only way that you can ensure that your partner is truly satisfied as far as sex goes is if you ask. When it comes to great sex, there is no room for ego, assumptions, or taking the “if it always worked, it still should” approach. People who move like that? One way or another, they are going to disappoint their bae as far as sexual satisfaction goes (whether their bae actually tells them that or just…fakes through it instead).
9. Or Sexual Repression
GiphyOn the heels of the last point, one of the reasons why sex is considered to be an ultimate form of communication is that when it’s good — and I mean, really, really good — all five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and sound) are involved (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”). Another reason is that when you can trust your partner to share your deepest sexual desires and perhaps even a sex-themed bucket list or entries from your sex journal, that can open the door to all types of sexual pleasure…and close the door to what’s known as sexual repression.
Probably the easiest way to define sexual repression is it’s what happens whenever you’re holding back feelings and longings as far as sex is concerned. There are several things that can cause this to transpire. It could be fear of rejection, suppressed childhood or religion-related issues, guilt or shame surrounding certain sex acts, or even physical pain during sex.
For instance, I know a wife who was raped in college and never told her husband. For years, they had sex-related issues because it’s almost as if she was stoic during the act, which led him to not find sex enjoyable at all because he felt like he was unwanted. I also know a wife who, because she is a first lady (you know, a pastor’s wife), has suppressed a lot of her sexual fantasies because she’s afraid that her husband will find them to be “inappropriate.”
In both of these instances, a sex therapist could do a lot of good (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”) because they are professionally trained to deal with all levels of sexual repression — something that is very real, even if it’s not openly discussed very often.
10. Orgasms Consume You
GiphyDo you need to experience orgasms in order to have good sex? No. You don’t. Can it be magnificent whenever you experience them, though? Of course. That said, when it comes to having great sex, although orgasms are literally defined as being the peak of sexual arousal, it is important to take the pressure off of both you and your partner. Contrary to whatever you’ve heard (or told yourself), sex can be pleasurable whether you reach a climax or not, together or not.
However, if you want to have more orgasms, don’t make them the goal so much as heightening your intimacy, taking your time, relishing in each other’s erogenous zones, doing some dirty talking, and being in the moment. When you’re “great” at these things, one way or another, great sex — and possibly a few orgasms along the way — is sure to follow. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy