If you’ve spent any type of time at all on TikTok or Instagram this year, I’d be floored if you didn’t come across the Morgan Stanley study that says that by 2030 (yes, almost five years from now which is very close), 40 percent of women in this country will be both single and without children. The reasons? More women are delaying marriage and having a family, and/or they are prioritizing their careers over being a wife and/or a parent.
As a woman who is, yes, single and childless (and is also counting the days until menopause is in full swing), I gave all of this some real thought as it relates to my own life. Being that I was pregnant four times (and terminated each time) in the 90s and also being that I haven’t been pregnant since, I’ve definitely asked myself, more than once, if that was all intentional, whether I realized it back then or not. What I mean by that is, were my in-my-20s decisions about thinking that I would have children later, or could it be that I never really wanted to have kids in the first place?
Honestly, I’m still somewhat figuring all of that out, although I will say that I don’t watch baby commercials and bawl, nor do I find myself wanting to run out and make a baby as a last-ditch effort before the “shop” closes down. I’ve got two goddaughters who are their own handful (because I take the role very seriously — check out “What You Should Think About Before Agreeing To Become A Godparent”), a bevy of love nieces and nephews, and I used to mentor teen moms.
Plus, I’m a doula, so I get to hold babies quite a bit. And although I will admit that I wish I had been more…spiritually responsible when it comes to my past pregnancies and I do sometimes wish that my father had a bloodline that would continue after I am gone, for the most part, I really am at peace, even as I’m still putting some pieces together. Yes, some women can bask in their womanhood, adore kids, and also not want children and — get this — be totally okay with that.
I’m just one example. Below, are 10 other women who, for different reasons and conclusions, have also made the ultimate decision to not become a mother — and, at the end of the day, they don’t regret it at all.
*Middle names are always used in my interviews so that people can speak freely*
Women Share Why They Decided Not to Have Kids (And Don't Regret It)
Giphy1. Allison. 37. Dating.
“I don’t know why folks think that not liking kids means that we don’t have a heart or something. When I say that, I mean that I think that children need to be raised by people who adore having them around and don’t just tolerate them or enjoy them when the mood hits. I know a lot of people who weren’t raised like that. I think that kids are cute and smarter than a lot of adults if you really listen to them.
"I just don’t like them enough to have them in the day-to-day of my life, for the rest of my life. A couple of hours or a weekend of babysitting are good. More than that, no ma’am. If that makes me evil to everyone, I’ll live. It’s better than having them and then raising them like they are always getting on your nerves. I’d call out names, but I want to keep my anonymity here.”
2. Evelyn. 41. Married for Three Years.
“This is my second marriage. The reason why my first one ended is because my husband wanted kids, and I was on the fence. Really, I wasn’t on the fence; I just loved him and I said whatever I needed to, to get married. That wasn’t fair to him or to me because all I ended up doing was wasting each other’s precious time. He’s now remarried with a baby and one on the way and couldn’t be happier.
"I’m now married to a man with children in college, and I’m thrilled too. I’m just not someone who looked at my adult life and saw children in it — not in a ‘mommy’ way. I have always wanted to do other things with my life and I enjoy now having a partner who feels the same way.”
Giphy3. Alessia. 35. Engaged.
“I ended two pregnancies in my past: one was in college, and another was in my mid-20s. At the time, I thought that it just wasn’t the right time for me. But then I noticed that when I shared my abortion stories with others, and they were talking about all of the PTSD and regret that they had surrounding their own terminations, I realized that I don’t think that there will ever be a ‘right time.’
"My fiancé has a child, and I love him, and I don’t mind becoming a stepmom. But there is nothing about me that wants to get pregnant or have a child around full-time. He doesn’t want any more kids either, to the point where he has already had a vasectomy, so it’s turned out perfectly.”
4. Paxtone. 51. Married for 16 Years.
“My husband and I knew that we were meant for each other on our second date — the fact that we got married four months later and have been married for almost 17 years now proves it! One of the things that made it crystal clear to us both is that neither of us wanted to have children. Children are expensive, and we preferred to put that money towards seeing the world, saving up for retirement — and also helping our siblings with their children.
"We’ve helped to put a couple of nieces and nephews through college and put a down payment on a home for another. Don’t underestimate uncles and aunts who don’t have kids. They can bless in ways you never saw coming.”
Giphy5. Lakelynn. 43. Separated.
“When my soon-to-be ex-husband first told me that he wanted a house filled with children, I should’ve ended the relationship then. He told me that when we were dating and I thought he was so perfect that I talked myself into what I knew I didn’t want: to be a mother. I think the universe agreed with me because I was never able to get pregnant during the first four years, and then we tried IVF and still weren’t successful.
"Now he’s drained, I’m resentful, and we both feel like a lot of time was wasted. He still wants children, I don’t and I don’t want to keep ignoring what is screaming in our faces — that I shouldn’t force what my gut doesn’t desire and he shouldn’t have to make the kind of sacrifice to go without. Love isn’t always enough.”
6. Skye. 48. Dating.
“Some won’t want to hear this, but I don’t respect people who think that older kids should help them raise their younger kids. Children are not continuous babysitters, and they need to have a childhood. I know because I was the second-to-oldest child in a family of six, and there were a lot of things that I missed out on doing because I needed to stay home and watch my brothers and sisters.
"When it was time for me to go to college, I couldn’t wait to leave and never looked back. I decided after graduation that I didn’t want any children, not because I don’t like kids, but I would rather have the freedom that comes from being an auntie than a mom. I was basically a second mom while growing up. Girl, I am so over that.”
Giphy7. Carlee. 45. Divorced.
“My decision to not have kids may be different than other women. I once did, but after three miscarriages, I emotionally don’t have the strength or even the interest to keep trying. Now that it’s been seven years since my last miscarriage, I realize that I don’t want to adopt either. Sometimes you’re conditioned to focus on only one part of what makes you a woman that when you put it aside, you learn more about yourself.
"Motherhood is beautiful, and it’s not all that makes a woman a woman. I’m not sure if I had birthed any of my children if I would’ve ever realized that.”
8. Ona. 37. Married for Five Years.
“Two things that I always thought were really cute for anyone but me are kids and pets. Sure, they’re adorable and fun to play with, but when everyone goes home, you’ve got to do some real work, and it never lets up. How do I know? My girlfriends constantly tell me! I’d rather be, what I call [a] ‘relief auntie’ for a few hours than a mother 24/7. It’s just not me, my husband is the same way. Parenting enriches your life in one way. Not parenting does in another.”
Giphy9. Kiera. 44. Dating.
“I’m too selfish for children — in a good way. What I mean is, I think if you know that you don’t want to devote your life to your children, you absolutely shouldn’t have them. I know parents who are too self-absorbed to be raising kids and that’s unfair to their kids. There has always been a part of me that knew that I didn’t want to put a child first, and so I have either been on the pill and used condoms or had an IUD for years now. You have no idea how thrilled I am that I’m seeing signs of menopause coming.
"I live my life for me, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Be embarrassed if you have kids and you still think that you come first.”
10. Xane. 50. Single.
“I never want to get married, and so, I never want to have kids. I know that some women see being a mom differently, but I come from a single mom, and I think that children need both of their parents. Since a hubby has never been a desire for me, children aren’t an option either. I think it’s sad that some people think that is sad. I live a very full and enjoyable single life, and not once have I wished that a kid was a part of it.
"Hell, when I hit menopause, I threw a party like it was a birthday one! I like being a poster child — hell, billboard — for being a happy single woman. If you want to be a mom — great. If I don’t want to be a mom, also great. Right?”
____
Absolutely right, my dear. Indeed, something that’s so beautiful about being a woman is there are many ways to be one. And as far as children go, you can “birth” other things like dreams and ideas too — never forget that.
If you’re a woman who has never really wanted to have kids, please know that I penned this with you in mind. As you can see, you are not alone, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or quiet about.
In fact, pat yourself on the back for knowing what you want — and don’t want. You’re more ahead of the game than you might think, sis. Hmph. Promise you that.
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Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images
- I'm A Black Mother Who Adopted White Kids, Here's Why ›
- No Baby, No Problem: Why It's OK To Not Want Children ›
- I Got My Tubes Tied At 30 Because I Always Knew I Didn't Want Children ›
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This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
