Tracee Ellis Ross On Being Single & Childless At 45: "It's Sort of Fascinating"
Earl Gibson III/Getty Images

Tracee Ellis Ross On Being Single & Childless At 45: "It's Sort of Fascinating"

Tracee Ellis Ross

If you asked me right now what I want to be when I grow up, my answer would be Tracee Ellis Ross. At 45 years old, our fairy godmother of style and all things glamour manages to balance activism, directing, acting, and self-care without breaking a sweat. Although her coveted beauty and style may seem effortless, Tracee recently revealed to InStyle that just like the rest of us, she had to work for that sh*t. She said:

"The 'I woke up like this' thing? Bullshit! 'Black-ish' is in HD, darling! There's no Vaseline on the lenses. At 18 I might have woken up like this. At 45 I f*cking work for it."

The Black-ish star revealed that she likes junk food just as much of the rest of us. Tracee's trick is to keep in mind that every Krispy Kreme donut equals a sweat-drenched day at the gym. According to her, the key to real self-care is balance.

"I love potato chips more than anything in the world, and so I work out hard. I put masks on my face. I take care of myself. And, by the way, to me self-care does not mean going to the spa. It's learning to say no. It's knowing yourself so you can make choices that are an expression of you. That's self-care."

Along with being able to say no, Tracee says that one of her non-negotiables when it comes to self-care is delegating time alone. Although she does make time for fun with friends and family, "choiceful solitude" is a factor in Tracee's life that is not up for debate. She is a reminder to live life in pursuit of what makes you happy, not just what sounds good to the people around you. Despite the society's ideal scenario of a husband and children, Tracee says that she's happier taking the road less traveled:

Earl Gibson III/Getty Images

"It's sort of fascinating to be 45 and single and childless. Happily single, I should add. Not at home crying about it. These are very big and very personal questions that aren't anyone's business but that somehow, like the right to choose, become fodder for public conversation. Some of the ability to reflect on what I really want comes from pushing up against a society that shames me for not having the expected trappings. I'm very pleased with my existence these days. Have I had to learn to make friends with loneliness? Yes. I think if I were in a relationship, it would be the same."

Tracee was blessed to grow up as the daughter of rhythm and blues royalty, and this privilege is one that she acknowledges and took full advantage of. She told InStyle that her confidence and flair comes from her biggest inspiration and confirmed that she does, in fact, get it from her mama. The actress said that one of her favorite activities to date is rummaging around in her mother's storage unit full of old clothes.

"It's like going to a museum. I'll sound like a crazy person, but when I hold some of her extraordinary original beaded stage clothes, there is a particular Diana Ross smell, a mom smell, a certain perfume that I just love. And sometimes, when you open the garment bags and there's makeup or sweat or other evidence of the clothes being worn — I find it really extraordinary. It's an artifact. You're seeing the fullness of a life that existed in that snapshot of a moment.

To Tracee, style was never about the clothes a woman wears, instead, it is defined the woman wearing them. She continued:

"As a kid I saw my mom as the lady in the sparkly dress on the stage who sang, but as I've gotten older, I've found the language to articulate that what I was seeing was a woman in her full glory being in connection with this gift she was given, being glamorous and sexy but not in a way that's 'Look at me.' We live in a 'Look at me' culture. I was raised to view sexy as being at the height of your ... self. Clothing was one of the ways you could wear your inside on your outside."

Again, Tracee hit us with gems for days. It doesn't really matter what you wear, as long as you remember how powerful the woman is underneath it all.

And that ladies, is what you call black girl magic at its finest. Read the full interview here.

Featured image by Earl Gibson III/Getty Images

A Black man, R. Kelly, stands in a court room, wearing an orange jumpsuit with his hands handcuffed behind his back, accompanied by a police officer in a green uniform, bulletproof vest and gun.

*Editors note: this article contains information about sexual assault, child pornography and rape. Please read with care. If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Saweetie Has A Candid Discussion About How She Viewed Her Hair Growing Up

At the end of last year, Saweetie decided to do the big chop and debuted her new crown on Instagram in time for the new year. When asked about her decision to shave her head in previous interviews, the “Icy Chain” rapper shared that she wanted to “start fresh.” But now she’s giving folks a deeper look into her relationship with her hair. In the May 2022 Glamour UK issue, the 28-year-old reflected on her hair journey from struggling with it as a child to cutting it all off as an adult.

Keep reading...Show less
'P-Valley' & 10 Other Shows That Feature Empowered Black Characters

I vividly recall my mother implying that TV couldn’t teach me much of anything, but in reality, we know that representation teaches us a lot! It empowers us and highlights diverse ways of Black life (more so in recent television history) that vary from traditional to not so traditional – though this makes the impact no less real. Television shows like P-Valley highlight the importance of human decency over respectability politics, while other shows allow us to see the value in falling through life with our awkwardness.

Keep reading...Show less
Halle Bailey Makes Her Red Carpet Debut With Boyfriend DDG: Here’s What We Know About Him

Halle Bailey and her boyfriend DDG are one of the cutest celebrity couples in the game right now. After confirming their relationship in March 2022, Halle, 22, and DDG, 24, made their red carpet debut as a couple over the weekend during the 2022 BET Awards. In an interview with Extra, The Little Mermaid star shared that she was “nervous” about their debut. “We’re like tryna figure out what we were going to wear. All this stuff,” she said. The couple matched each other’s fly with both wearing all-black outfits.

Keep reading...Show less
Here's Why You Should Ditch Fourth Of July And Have A Family Reunion Instead

“Who made the potato salad?” As summertime kicks off, this is the universal question that, without fail, will be asked at every barbeque and backyard kickback over the coming months. With the Fourth of July also nearing, summertime celebrations and cookouts will be in full force. However, as the tide begins to turn in this new day and age, more Black Americans are celebrating Juneteenth, instead of the Fourth of July, because, after all, there were still over 250,000 Black Americans enslaved in Galveston, Texas during this so-called Independence Day.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
A Black woman looks into the camera and gives a closed-mouth smile. She's wearing a black turtleneck

Miss Diddy Kicks Off BET Awards Weekend With 'A Toast To Black Hollywood'

Her annual event to celebrate the culture has a new name and more intention than ever before

Latest Posts