Gabrielle Union 'Wasn't Raised To Be Free' & Wants To Give Her Kids The Childhood She Didn't Have
Gabrielle Union-Wade has had an interesting few years in the spotlight since marrying husband Dwyane Wade in 2014. She's had to face many obstacles from public perception, judgement, and the cruel nature of the industry that she's in, but if anyone can handle it, she was absolutely built to do so.
So much so, that the Breaking In actress has pivoted her brand from being a movie star, to an activist and best-selling author. And although she may have not had the type of upbringing she has afforded to her kids, sis has somehow managed to tap into herself, through raising two daughters of her own.
In a recent interview with People Magazine, the mom of five, touched on the subject and the importance of listening when it comes to parenting.
And gems were definitely dropeth in the best way possible.
"We talk about raising free Black girls, I wasn't raised to be free. I was raised to conform, I was raised to assimilate. I was raised to be super conscious of the 'White gaze' and to constantly shape-shift so you can always be positioned as the exception so then hopefully, you know, you'll have a closer proximity to people who get to make decisions and maybe they'll deem you worthy."
She cheekily reacts to what she's saying, as if she understands how ridiculous it may sound--when in all honestly, most of us were, and are, raised to be the same.
But, no more. Sis makes it very known that this generational curse stops right where she stands.
"We're raising our kids to know that they're worthy because they exist. They are deserving because they exist. And we don't want them to ever shape-shift for anyone else's approval or acceptance. We want to make sure they feel strong, supported, and free to be exactly who they are, where they are, whenever they feel like being whatever that is. Because I definitely didn't have it."
Of course, she's alluding to her daughter, Zaya, who came out as transgender in 2019, and the notion that most of the people raised exactly as Gabrielle was, inflicts the same beliefs onto her simply because they don't take the time to understand it (God forbid, right? *eye roll*)
Andrew Toth/Getty Images
But ultimately, Gabrielle just wants her children to be happy--no matter if you agree with them or not. And she's doing so through the lens of the 'Shady Baby' herself, Ms. Kaavia.
"It's not about creating an image of perfection and these glossy perfect photos, it's just capturing her essence, and the main takeaway is she's free. She's free to be this amazing, dynamic, shady at times, loving at times, funny at times, Black little girl when the world has been not so kind to Black girls and women. So for so many people, she's just straight up freedom and what it can be like."
Watch the full interview here:
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Featured image by Gabrielle Union-Wade/Instagram
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
The 'Success' Salary: Is $588,000 Per Year Reasonable For Black Women?
According to a recent survey by Empower, a financial services company, many Americans say a yearly salary of $270,214 means you’ve made it. It’s the kind of earnings that reflect success. That sum, which is three times more than the median household income, accounts for just 10% of U.S. households that earned more than $234,900 last year, according to CNBC. When broken down by age, millennials (ages 28 to 43) set their “success” salary at $180,865, while Gen Z (ages 18 to 27) set their expectations even higher. They said it would take $587,797 to be successful, according to the Empower findings.
The research also found that 49% of Americans feel “less financially successful than others,” which is “part of the reason they say they’d need such a high salary to feel accomplished, " Rebecca Rickert, head of communications at Empower, told CNBC.
In terms of overall net worth that defines a “successful” life, Gen Z noted the average at more than $9.4 million, while millennials noted more than $5.6 million. The numbers reflect unreasonable, pie-in-the-sky notions about success, with 47% indicating that “they’ll never achieve the level of success they’re seeking” and 42% of women considering themselves financially successful right now.
Black Women and the Wealth Disparity
Black women professionals, in particular, face a major challenge to this perception of a successful salary in the form of the wealth gap, earning 66 cents for every dollar white males make and earning $96 for every dollar their Black full-time counterparts make.
Black women's weekly median earnings were $935 in the third quarter of 2024, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, which is more than $44,800 gross yearly. Elder millennial women (ages 35 and older), as a whole, earned median weekly earnings of $1,160, which is more than $55,600 yearly. Gen Zers ages 16 to 24 had the lowest median weekly earnings at $720 (or more than $34,500 per year).
And of course, the salary increases based on education and experience, but numbers still did not reach the “success” salaries of respondents in the Empower survey.
Alternate Pathways to Wealth
For Black women, the traditional path of just keeping a “good job” for 30 years doesn’t align with the “success” notions from the Empower findings, however, there are other paths to wealth building. Based on the success of high-net-worth Black women, the common themes are ownership, investing, and entrepreneurship. Women like Oprah Winfrey, Sheila Johnson, Rihanna, Serena Williams, Emma Grede, Fawn Weaver, Iman Abuzeid, and several others, all have those three things in common.
While there are still very real barriers to Black women reaching a multi-million-dollar net worth (and the aforementioned women are indeed outliers), investing in stocks, real estate, art, and other methods of making your money work for you are ways to increase one’s income as a full-time employee. And, according to the National Community Reinvestment Coalition, home equity has accounted for the largest share of Black wealth since the start of the 20th century.
Starting a lucrative side hustle, launching businesses, buying into a franchise, or owning a proprietary trademarked process or service can also be a great way to double or even triple your net worth.
Redefining Definitions of Success
While it is great to strive for wealth or riches, the way you define success is directly connected to your worldview and values. Not all of us link an abundance of money to success. The same respondents from the Empower research said their personal definition of success is “often at odds with what society prizes,” with 43% defining financial success as “having a certain amount of money or assets.”
Only 27% ranked “wealth” as the “highest measure of financial success,” with 59% stating that “happiness” is the most important benchmark (i.e., having the ability to spend money on the things and experiences that bring the most joy, doing what you love.) Thirty-five percent indicated success is defined by “the luxury of free time to pursue personal passions.”
If there's a yearly salary that denotes success, what happens if, when you finally achieve it, you can't really enjoy it? What do you think the salary of a "successful" person is? Is "success" truly defined by how much money you earn? The jury is out on that one.
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Featured image by Getty Images