

The beauty of life is that anything can happen at any moment, and you can count on the journey to help you gain perspective and strength to deal with it. When I was 21 years old, I was officially diagnosed with generalized epilepsy. Epilepsy is a neurological disorder that causes abnormal activity in the brain, seizures, and loss of consciousness.
The seizures would start off slow. First, I'd feel very tired — both mentally and physically. Then, it would become hard for me to stay focused. I would be in and out, as if I was falling asleep and waking up. After those signs, I would have the seizure and lose consciousness. I also experienced memory loss and I can only remember the events before I had the seizure.
Sound intense? It is.
When I was diagnosed, I felt upset and even betrayed. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me or where these seizures were even coming from. I had no idea what epilepsy was at the time, all I knew was I was having seizure after seizure and it was stressful.
My first seizure happened in my bedroom. I was talking with a friend and getting ready to head out. I noticed I felt drained and completely out of it, I felt zombie-like as I was getting ready. Next thing I knew, I was laying on the floor with my mom and friend hovering over me and blood scattered around me. I didn't know what happened or where the blood came from, but I was too exhausted to figure it out.
After being sent to the ER and hearing my friend tell the story, I realized what happened. I realized that on my way to the bathroom, I began shaking (convulsing), then fell and hit my head on the end of the bed. I busted the top of my nose in between my eyes and needed six stitches due to the impact.
After a while, it became more intense and the seizures were happening way too frequently. I would have seizures on the train, at work, and at home. At that point, I knew I needed to seek out some serious medical attention.
I spent a year and a half trying to figure it out and go back to "normal." I went to different hospitals and tried an array of medications. Nothing worked. I wanted to give up. It seemed like the doctors didn't know how to help me. I was losing hope in the medical system and had a hard time adjusting to what my new life would entail. I felt hopeless and remembered that my mentor at the time used to suffer from seizures. When I reached out to her, she recommended I make an appointment at NYU's neurology center and I did. I'm so grateful for her to this day because that's when I finally received the proper treatment and tests.
I was officially diagnosed at NYU, but I also had to face the hard reality that this was never going away.
My doctor informed me that the chance of epilepsy going away as an adult was unlikely, but it can be maintained. She also informed me that the type of epilepsy I have can be triggered by hormonal changes, stress, and alcohol. So, if I wanted to start a family, I would need some medical assistance to make sure I can carry seizure-free. I was literally shook! Just when I started to get a little hope, it was taken away. As for alcohol, I cut back, but not completely at first. I had some wine and a beer here and there and stuck to things with low alcohol.
Fast-forward to life after my diagnosis, I was doing fine, I hadn't had a seizure but I was taking medication every day. The medication was bittersweet. While I didn't have any seizures, I wasn't eating either. I could hardly finish a meal and I lost a significant amount of weight. I would only eat one meal a day or drink nutriments. Although eating became a struggle, anything was better than the seizures, so I continued taking my meds and smoked some weed to gain an appetite. Unfortunately, my seizures didn't stop and I stopped taking my meds and looked into holistic treatments (which I don't encourage you to do without consulting with your doctor). I realized I had to make these lifestyle changes to live seizure-free:
Avoid Anything That Can Cause Hormonal Changes
I stay away from all birth control methods, emergency contraceptives, and anything that can affect my menstrual cycle. I also take folic acid daily as a preventative measure to lower the effects of any issues I may have during pregnancy.
I Had To Accept Epilepsy
I never really accepted epilepsy in my life. For a long time, I disassociated myself with it so much, especially in the beginning. I didn't identify with being "disabled," not that there's anything wrong with that, I just didn't feel that way. I didn't want to face it, I didn't want to understand it, and I certainly didn't want to live it. I was also younger and less mature at the time, which made it even harder. I noticed when I accepted it, I paid more attention to triggers and effects, I was able to do more research and became open to exploring ways of living with it.
Keep Stress Low
Like anxiety, too much stress can be a trigger. To keep my stress low, I try my hardest to:
- Meditate every day
- Practice time-management
- Exercise or do yoga
- Attend therapy when I can
Very Low Caffeine Intake
Anxiety is also another trigger and too much caffeine makes me very anxious. I avoid anything that may cause any additional anxiety to keep it safe. I don't drink soda and stick to decaf coffee.
Eating Healthier
I struggled big time with eating and because of that, my body wasn't getting the proper nutrients it needed. I make sure I'm having the necessary amount of carbs, protein, and vegetables to maintain a healthy diet and weight.
Avoid Alcohol
Alcohol was the biggest trigger and probably the hardest one to let go of. I didn't drink much but it was still something I enjoyed. I also felt very peer-pressured to drink. Every time people would invite me to hang out, the first line would be "let's grab a drink" and it became harder to deal with.
I also felt uncomfortable sharing that I don't drink, each response was either "how you don't drink?" "you don't drink at all?" or "why you don't drink?" I don't blame the people around me for their curiosity, but it was hard to deal with on top of everything else. I was very uncomfortable with having epilepsy, especially when it came to talking about it.
Eventually, I just removed myself from certain settings like bars and when people asked why I didn't drink, I just let them know it's not for me.
Since making these lifestyle changes, I've been seizure-free for a year *insert twerk*. If you have epilepsy, please consult your neurologist before making any lifestyle changes.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Freelance writer, content creator, and traveler. She enjoys the beauty of simplicity, a peaceful life, and a big curly fro. Connect with Krissy on social media @iamkrissylewis or check out her blog at www.krissylewis.com.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock