This past year has been a trip—and then some. Without intentionally setting out to do so, I've ended some toxic relationships (which were mostly toxic because I was the one doing most of the work to maintain them). And, even though no one is independently wealthy over here, I decided to sever some professional ties (mostly because they weren't paying me even close to what I was worth).
As a result, I've had some moments when I've felt—beat. I mean that kind of exhaustion where if I slept 16 hours a day, it wouldn't be enough. I've also had moments when I've broken out into tears for no apparent reason and, let's not even discuss my bank account.
There's no doubt about it, in some ways, this season has had me feeling worse rather than better. And although I know I've made choices that truly are the best for me, it hasn't immediately felt that way.
However, what was going on in my personal and professional life isn't what helped me to pinpoint what was actually transpiring. It was actually something what went down with my body physically.
What My Candida Attack Revealed
If you've ever had a yeast infection before, you know there are really no words to describe how utterly annoying and uncomfortable it can be. Well, not too long ago, I had the triple threat (literally) of a yeast infection, a small eczema flare-up, and a bout of tinea versicolor—all at the same time. Hell on earth, I say. No exaggeration.
t had been so long since I had a yeast infection that I went to the drugstore to cop some Monistat. Not to knock the over-the-counter drug, but basically my body laughed at the cream. It was a complete waste of twenty bucks.
I was willing to bet good money that what I had going on was a fungal issue (I have a natural sensitivity to fungus). And since I'm not a fan of taking antibiotics (I try to avoid them if I can; besides, some infections are resistant to them anyway) and going to the doctor was going to cost a pretty penny, I decided to take matters into my own hands and treat matters holistically.
What I discovered helped me to see the silver lining in my not-so-little-little fungal attack.
Bad breath. Constipation. Breakouts. Mood swings. Insomnia. A low libido. If you make the time to check out "The Largely Unknown Health Epidemic Affecting Almost ALL Americans," you'll peep that reportedly "70 percent of all people are affected by Candida, a systemic fungal infection"—and a lot of the symptoms I just mentioned are indications that you might be one of those individuals.
Anyway, as I was reading up on just what candida is and does to our bodies (it's some pretty icky/scary stuff), I also looked up some natural ways to treat a candida infection (which is a form of a fungal infection).
Breaking all of what I discovered down is kind of its own article. Let me just say for now that antifungal herbs like garlic, turmeric, tea tree oil, Pau D'Arco, and Oil of Oregano are real game-changers. If you add to that some berberine and Yeast Fend (from The Vitamin Shoppe) and a mega-probiotic, I'd be floored if you don't start to feel much better.
Well, after you start to feel worse, that is.
What do I mean by that?
After I researched how all that was going on with me was interconnected and then I added those herbs (along with eating less sugar, drinking more water and taking my stress down a few notches) into my system, for a couple of days I was like, "What in the world is going on?!" I was more tired, had more discharge and itching, and even a few pimples. Uh-uh.
But then I happened upon a phrase known as the "healing crisis" and it's not only changed my life, but also my perspective on what I was going through - both internally and externally.
What My Physical Healing Crisis Is Teaching Me
Long story short, a healing crisis is defined as being "a temporary worsening of symptoms that occurs when the body is going through the process of healing itself through the elimination of toxins."
In the case of candida, as the cells die off, toxins are released into our system that result in us feeling worse (sometimes much worse)…first. That's because during a healing crisis, the symptoms aren't the things being addressed. The root of the infection is too. Maybe you've been consuming too much sugar, or have an underlying health issue, or you're not having enough antibiotics - whatever it is, the healing crisis is an essential part of resolving your concerns. So if you stay the course and are patient on your journey, you eventually end up feeling better than ever.
As I thought about the healing crisis on a physical level, it got me to thinking about many of the things that have been going on in other areas of my life.
Take my personal relationships, for example. Being basically co-dependent in so many of them was a lot like applying Monistat to a yeast infection. I was doing whatever I could to keep certain people in my life, but I was never really happy in those relationships. What was my root issue of that?
Well, for starters, I'm realizing that as a childhood abuse survivor, some of the boundaries that weren't taught to me as a child, resulted in me not setting healthy ones as an adult. Oh, but I'm doing that now (if you've never readSafe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't—chile, it will change your life!).
My relational healing crisis is teaching me that going-along-to-get-along is usually a "symptomatic way" of handling things. Choosing to value myself and not settle for less—across the board—is getting to the root of past patterns and problems.
And you know what? Just like things had to "die off" in my body for me to be physically healthy again, certain people, places, things, and ideas had to go as well for me to live my best life.
In order for me to get to where I know I need to be, life literally had to get worse before it could start getting better. But baby, I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel and the gold at the end of the rainbow.
So, if it took having a health crisis to learn what a healing crisis is and why I needed to experience one, believe it or not, the candida was worth it.
Bottom line, if you've got to let some things go, even if it hurts, in order to be your best self, DO IT.
It will feel like a crisis at first, but there will be healing in it.
I promise you that.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- What Is A Healing Crisis? Understanding Detox Reactions | Ritual ... ›
- Avoid a Detox Crisis! Common Snags and How to Dodge Them ... ›
- Is A Healing Crisis Really Healing? - Autoimmune Wellness ›
- Are You Experiencing a Healing Crisis - DrJockers.com ›
- 9 Strategies to Overcome a "Healing Crisis" During Detox ... ›
- What is a Healing Crisis? ›
- What Is a Healing Crisis? | AlkaWay USA ›
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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