

Here's How To Make Wash Day Less Of A Headache
I don't know about y'all, but if there is one very necessary task that I pretty much have to gas myself up to do, each and every time that I do it, it's shampooing and conditioning my hair. Back when I had a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), it was nothing to wash it in the shower and let it air dry as I go about my day. Yet now that I finally have a few inches—and, as my braider always tells me, a lot of hair density—there is no other word to describe wash day other than being an absolute chore. Still, it's something that has to be done if I want my hair to flourish.
I must admit that over the past three years or so, I have figured out a routine that makes wash day a lot less stressful and time-consuming. If you'd like to know my personal approach, I've included 10 tips that can make your own wash day a bit less of a headache than it (probably) currently is.
1. Set Up Some Entertainment
The longer my hair gets, the more I have to gas myself up to wash it. The reason why is because, sometimes, believe it or not, it's the rushing through the shampooing, conditioning and drying process on wash day that can end up doing your hair the most damage. What can help you to avoid rushing, so that you can handle your hair with the ultimate care, is to set up some sort of entertainment that can help to keep you in good spirits. It can be turning on some throwback jams or making the decision to catch up on a favorite show. My hair, right now, is a little past my chin and, from beginning to end, wash day takes about three hours (mostly because I try to deep condition for about 1.5-2 hours of that). Based on the length of your own locks, that can help you to get an idea of whether you'll be listening to one LP or watching two movies. Either way, it can help you to enjoy something that you might not have much time to do otherwise.
2. Give Your Hair a Little Bit of Steam
Out of all the tips that I'm about to share with you, the one that you may have never done or even considered before is steaming your hair. If you do this before actually shampooing your tresses, it can help to lift your hair's cuticles; that way, each strand is able to absorb both the water as well as the products that you're about to apply so much easier.
You can steam your hair by either using an actual hair steamer. Or, if money is a little tight right now, another approach is to simply stand in the back of your shower (so that the water doesn't get all over you), with the water as hot as possible and with your bathroom door closed for a good 7-10 minutes. As a bonus, your face can get a little bit of a steam detox treatment too.
3. Treat Your Scalp
Before we get into how to properly wash your hair in a way that will help you to save time, let's talk about your scalp for a hot sec, shall we? After all, it is the foundation of your hair. Since it's not hard to collect build-up that can irritate your scalp, I'm a big fan of detoxing it before shampooing and conditioning your hair. Don't worry—it actually sounds like more complex of a process than it actually is. You can decide which kind of detoxing you'd prefer to do by checking out the article on our site entitled, "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend".
4. Don’t Forget to Pre-Poo
Once your hair is all steamed up and your scalp is detoxed (the steam can help to open up your pores which makes the detoxing process more potent), it's now time to apply one more prep step and that's to do some pre-pooing. The long short of this is it's all about applying an oil to your hair, basically for two main purposes. For one thing, the oil can help to add a little more moisture to your hair which can help to protect it from any stripping of natural oils that shampooing might do. Secondly, pre-pooing makes the next step that I'm about to discuss oh, so much easier. Just make sure that you go with an oil that will nourish your locks. Coconut, avocado, jojoba, grapeseed and even virgin olive oil are all really good ones. Simply wet your hair with lukewarm water and apply a healthy amount of oil to your hair; not enough to make it all greasy, but definitely enough that it gives your tresses enough "slip" to make it super manageable.
5. Then Do Some Detangling
It's gonna be pretty difficult to thoroughly wash your hair, if it's all stuck together and/or tied up in knots. That's why it's a good idea to do some detangling before you actually apply any product. Once your hair is wet and your preferred oil of choice is applied, I recommend using your fingers—at least first—before using a detangling comb. Wet hair is mad fragile, so you don't want to immediately start hacking away at your hair with a styling tool. Anyway, make sure that you start, not at the roots of your hair but actually the ends. Feel around for any fairy knots and try and separate them with your fingers. Then work your way up the shaft. Once you can, at least for the most part, run your hands through your hair, you can then separate your hair even more with a detangling comb. If you need some help with figuring out which detangling comb (or brush) would be best for your hair, I checked out a few YouTube videos that can probably point you into the right direction. You can view them yourself here, here and here.
6. Use a Sulfate-Free Shampoo
Our scalp tends to collect a fair share of sweat (especially if you work out on a regular basis) while our hair gets full of dirt and product over a period of time. This is why it's necessary to have a wash day, to begin with. As far as how often you should shampoo (and condition) your hair, it kind of depends on your own hair type and lifestyle. However, a lot of professional stylists would recommend that unless your hair is type 1-3a (because those types have strands that are straighter which makes it easier for our body's natural oils to run completely down the shaft which causes the hair to get oily faster), every 10-14 days is pretty standard. The reason why you shouldn't wash your hair more than that is that there is such a thing as "overdoing it"—stripping your hair of the natural moisture that it has and needs which can cause your hair to become dry and brittle which can ultimately cause breakage.
Whew. Now with all of that said, just make sure that you avoid sulfate shampoos. The reason why is because they contain ingredients that can further strip your hair. There is just one caveat to this particular tip. If you've been using a lot of product and you need to make sure that you remove all of it, a sulfate shampoo can help to get the job done. Just make sure that you don't incorporate it into your wash day routine on a regular basis and that you definitely deep condition your hair after using it in order to replace the moisture that was lost.
As far as the kind of sulfate-free shampoos that are best, I personally use shampoo bars that are made of honey and/or Jamaican black castor oil (Etsy has many options). Also, Naturally Curly did us all a solid with their article "Top 30 Sulfate-Free Shampoos". You can probably find a shampoo that is just perfect for you there as well.
Oh, and for those of you who may be like, "So, what about co-washing instead of shampooing?" Eh. That's something that is totally up to your own discretion. What I will say is if you do decide to "wash" your hair with conditioner rather than with shampoo, at least try and shampoo your hair, every third wash day. While co-washing can help your hair to retain even more moisture, there comes a time in every woman's life when her hair needs some old-fashioned washing. Feel me?
7. Shampoo in Sections
If one of the main reasons why you semi-loathe wash day is because your hair seems to end up a matted mess, that's probably because you don't wash your hair in sections. Once you've finished shampooing, apply a little of the pre-poo oil that you already used to your fingers and then section your hair off into four main parts. If you want, you can hold each piece with plastic—not metal, plastic—hair clips. Then, wash each section, one at a time. That way, you can effectively clean all of your hair (and scalp) without your hair getting all tangled up in the process.
8. Deep Condition
I honestly don't think that I will ever do an article on hair care where I won't recommend deep conditioning locks. Ever since I've made a point and purpose to do it, my hair has felt so much softer and I've been able to retain so much more length. Deep conditioning is all about applying a conditioner to your hair and letting it sit for more than just a couple of minutes. As I said earlier, I try and let mine fully saturate the cuticles of my hair for at least 1-2 hours; sometimes, even overnight.
While you could use pretty much any conditioner, my personal recommendation is to look for one that is "branded" as being a deep conditioner (Essence has a cool list here). Those tend to be thicker in consistency which can help to give your hair more moisture. An added tip would be to add some Chebe powder to your conditioner; it'll help to restore the pH balance of your hair while also making it feel super soft. I use it every wash day and I've definitely seen a difference since I started adding it to my hair routine.
9. Let Your Locks Air Dry as Much as Possible
Now that your hair is all clean and well-conditioned, it's time to start prepping it for styling. While some people are extremely anti-heat, I'm actually not that girl. I've found that blow drying my hair on wash days (and then not really using any heat on my hair until the next wash day rolls around) has helped to reduce tangles and fairy knots. The key is to get a quality dryer, to allow your hair to air dry at least 50-60 percent before applying any heat, to use a cream-based thermal heat protectant on your hair, and to make sure that your blow dryer is set to no higher than medium. Applying all of these tips (not just one, all) will significantly decrease your chances of hair damage. It can also really speed up the time it takes to finish up your hair routine on wash day.
10. Put Your Hair into a Protective Style
While I would really like to have my soul glowin', every day of the week, I've gotta admit that I experience a lot less breakage when I keep my hair in a protective style during the weekday and then let it do its own thing, in all of its glory, on the weekend. For the record, a protective style doesn't have to be braids or twists. It can also be a wig or weave. Whatever you decide to do, the objective should be to do what you can to keep the ends of your hair from being exposed to the outer elements while keeping you from manipulating your tresses a lot.
Welp. That's it. It might seem like a lot at first, but once you get into the swing of this routine, you should be able to finish in three hours or so (even less if you opt to deep condition your hair for only thirty minutes or so). Anyway, here's to healthy and clean tresses, sis. The kind of hair that makes it well worth enduring…wash day.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Here's How To Host Your First Dinner Party, According To TikTok's Viral Dinner Host
If you haven’t scrolled upon Olivia McDowell's TikTok famous dinner parties, you may need to reconfigure your "For You Page."
What began as a passion for hosting aesthetically themed meals for her closest friends has quickly become a viral sensation. With an astonishing 12 million viewers, women describe Olivia’s picturesque dinner parties as the “dream girls' night,” complete with classy cocktails, beautiful table settings, elegant outfits, and, most importantly, food plated to perfection.
Seemingly reigniting the feminine urge to host fancy dinner parties, Olivia has perfected the finer details. Overlooking the skyline in her beautiful NYC apartment, she never fails to make her signature handmade pasta dishes while simultaneously looking effortlessly chic in the wardrobe of dreams while doing so.
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @nara0630 what should the theme of my next dinner party be? #minivlog #nycliving #dinnerpartyideas #caviarinnewyork
What I love most about hosting intimate dinners for close friends are the connections and relationships that form over food. They don't require a caviar budget with a high-rise apartment, it just takes determination and a little creativity. Watching Olivia’s journey inspires viewers to be a part of a community of positive and uplifting women who share common interests and tastes in food, fashion, and decor. Simply stated, she’s raising the bar of friendship goals.
If you’re aspiring to host a holiday-themed dinner party this season, check out the four tips that will guide you along the way.
Choose Your Theme
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @emz.life.tsv what was your fav part? 🤍 hope this gives you some inspiration to host a fancy friendsgiving too! #hostingtip #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Set the ambiance with a thoughtful theme, which will indeed be your guiding light for less stress during the planning process. Establishing a theme sets the tone for everything else to fall in place, such as menus, table design, and presentation. For example, a holiday-inspired dinner party is a perfect occasion for elegant all-white decor paired with draped table cloths, pillar candles lit atop luxe holders, floating floral arrangements, and, for a personal touch, handwritten place settings.
Utilizing free resources such as Canva for menu templates and creating a “Dinner Party” moodboard via Pinterest is perfect for gathering dinner inspiration for themes, decor, and recipes for the special occasion.
Simplify the Menu
@oliviaamcdowell How to host your own pasta making dinner party — part 1: pasta making from scratch 🤍 Hosting dinner parties has become my favorite thing to do this year. More goes into it than you expect, the prep, planning, guestlist, tablescape, etc. but it’s always worth it in the end. What do you guys want to see next? #hostingtips #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Don’t overcomplicate the menu. A simple dinner party formula to use as your guide to making sure your guests leave full of food and joy is appetizers, salads, entrees, sides, desserts, and beverages. As a starter, assemble an aesthetic spread that your guest can nibble on while awaiting the main course with starters such as bread, cheese, jam, nuts, and fruit. A simple salad will do, complete with a light dressing right before your entree. For a main dish, pasta recipes always go a long way and also allows your guests to interact with one another, which leads to McDowell's third dinner party hosting tip.
Include an Interactive Element
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @itstai.tv 🥹🖤 #girlhood
To break the ice and encourage guests to get to know one another, introduce interactive elements to the evening. Moments of interaction allow everyone to connect, like capturing content for social media or memorializing the essence of the night through fun Polaroids. Olivia also encourages her guests to participate in the pasta-making dinner process as a group, or if hosting a brunch, her friends indulge in building their own coffee bar as an opportunity for forming connections and conversation starters. Group board or card games are also great for laughs and healthy competition to help get the vibes flowing.
Don’t Forget the Dress code
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @samantha_mendiz when all of your friends are the main character 🖤🥂 #dinnerparty #nycfashion
Tis’ the season for glamour and sparkles, so why not go all out with a super chic dress code? You can’t have a picture-perfect holiday dinner party without the coordinating attire to match. When planning, make sure to make the required attire specific yet broad enough for a range of personalities and preferences to comfortably partake while looking stunning doing so.
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