If someone were to ask me about the part of my body that I have neglected the most over the years, I would probably have to say that it was my scalp. Hell, with the amount of permanent hair dyeing and texturizing that I used to do once upon a time, that would be enough “scalp abuse” to prove my point.
I know this to be the case because once I stopped applying harsh chemicals to my hair (which includes my scalp), I went through about a year-and-a-half of scalp flaking that was totally out of control. A hairstylist told me it was my scalp actually recovering from all of the trauma that I had sent it through. Then, when I started scalp detoxing (check out “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”) — that’s when I knew that I had to get better about taking care of the foundation of my hair: my scalp.
If that’s something that you’d like to get better at doing as well, I will share with you some of the things that I’ve been intentional about doing that have done a world of good as far as scalp maintenance is concerned. If you do these things consistently, whether you deal with dry scalp, dandruff or you simply want to see your hair thrive more, I can almost guarantee that you will see a noticeable improvement in a matter of a couple of months.
1. Eat More Antioxidants
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Whenever you hear someone talk about the importance of having antioxidants in your system, it’s probably in the context of relying on them to boost your immune system. However, there are several reasons why they’re also really good for your scalp and hair as well. Antioxidants help to fight off free radicals, boost blood circulation to your scalp, protect your hair and scalp from UV damage, reduce hair shedding, promote healthy hair growth, and even make your hair appear fuller.
Foods that are full of antioxidants include citrus fruit, berries, spinach, broccoli, carrots, kale, cabbage, sweet potatoes, onions, and cinnamon…so, the next time you’re at the grocery store, do your scalp a solid and pick up a few of ‘em.
2. Up Your Vitamin B12 Intake
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As I’ve gotten older, something that I’ve been intentional about doing is taking a vitamin B12 supplement. Holistically, it’s a nutrient that’s beneficial because it helps to preserve the health of blood and nerve cells. Also, vitamin B12 is good for you because it can reduce depression-related symptoms and give you more energy.
Your scalp and hair will enjoy you getting more B12 into your body because there is a direct connection between having a vitamin B12 deficiency and experiencing hair loss. Since it also has been known to soothe eczema-related symptoms (and scalp eczema is indeed a thing; it’s usually called seborrhoeic dermatitis) — that’s all the more reason to take a supplement yourself and/or eat more B12-enriched foods like eggs, salmon, yogurt, turkey and mushrooms.
3. Try All-Natural Shampoo Bars
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Something that I’ve been shampooing my hair with, for a few years now, is shampoo bars. They tend to have more natural ingredients in them. They are gentler on my hair. They last longer than the kind of shampoo that comes in a bottle. They take up less space. They also seem to keep more moisture in my hair, which is always a major perk. And since so many of them do not have the same kind of harsh ingredients that many commercial brand shampoos have, this means that your scalp doesn’t have to stress out on wash day.
If you’ve never gone this cleansing route, my two cents would be to do some online window shopping on Etsy. If you go to the site and put “Black-owned shampoo bars” in the search field, you’ll be amazed by how many all-natural ones you will have to choose from.
4. Do an Herbal Scalp Rinse
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If you’re looking for a quick and inexpensive way to pamper your scalp and hair, how about an herbal rinse? It’s probably the most effective way to get the herbs that come from teas into your hair. For instance, nettle tea is great for treating hair breakage, ginseng tea strengthens hair, green tea stimulates hair growth, gooseberry tea fights off free radicals, and lavender tea is great at promoting a healthy scalp. Based on whatever your scalp and hair needs at the time, you can apply one tea or create a combination.
My advice would be to get some loose-leaf teas, steep them for like 30 minutes, allow them to cool and sit for a couple of days in mason jars (don’t pour the tea into the jars until after the tea has become lukewarm in temperature) and then rinse your hair with it after shampooing and conditioning it. Let the mixture sit on your hair for 10 minutes, and rinse with cool water. You can find some more info on herbal rinses here. Etsy is also a place where you can find just about any loose-leaf herb that you can think of. Again, go to the site, put “loose-leaf herbs” in the search field, and be prepared for your mind to be blown.
5. Wash with Lukewarm or Cool Water Only
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Very few things feel better than hot water running from the scalp to the feet while taking a shower. Problem is, hot water can be very drying to your skin, and your scalp is no exception — and a dehydrated scalp can cause all types of issues in the long run. That’s why it really is best to wash your scalp and hair in lukewarm water and then rinse it in cool or cold water. Cooler temperatures will keep the natural sebum that’s on your scalp in balance, add moisture, reduce dandruff, increase blood circulation, and add shine to your hair strands from your roots to your ends.
6. Make a DIY Tea Tree Oil Serum
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If dandruff is something that you struggle with or you simply have moments when your scalp is itchy, and it’s irritating the entire crap outta you, try some tea tree oil. Its super potent antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, antiviral, and antifungal properties make it great for treating acne and dermatitis, and it is a powerful ingredient in all-natural deodorant and mouthwash, too. Because tea tree oil is so good at treating fungal issues, that’s why it can reduce dandruff irritation and flaking.
What I personally like so much about it is that, even though this oil will help to get rid of inflammation, itching, and fungus-related drama, it doesn’t dry out my scalp in the process. In fact, it actually helps to moisturize it; just make sure that you add a carrier oil to it because, again, it’s potent and nothing to play with.
7. Create a Scalp Scrub Too
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Okay. Sit and think about how many hair products you use in just a week’s worth of time. Then, think about how much sweat probably transpires as well. Those two things alone should make you want to scrub your scalp on wash day, right?
Something that’s awesome about applying this particular tip is scalp scrubs are a wonderful way to exfoliate your scalp, remove product build-up, unclog your scalp’s pores/hair follicles, soothe an itchy scalp, and get rid of any dandruff flakes that you may have.
There are plenty of scalp scrubs on the market that you can use (like the ones thatInStyle provided here and Byrdie offered up here). Personally, I like to make my own. A homemade scrub that I can cosign on is featured right here. Also, if you want to learn more about scalp scrubs and why they are super beneficial overall, check out the YouTube video on Curly Chemistry’s channel here; she breaks it all the way down.
8. Massage with Peppermint Oil
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Did you know that if you have a headache or any type of muscle or joint discomfort, applying some peppermint oil can bring about some much-needed relief? Not only that, but it’s the kind of oil that’s good for treating coughs, shortening the lifespan of colds, and reducing stress (via aromatherapy). Your scalp could definitely benefit from a peppermint oil massage because the menthol that’s in it helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp so that your hair follicles are able to receive more of the nutrients that they need.
Also, if you happen to be like me and you struggle with a dry and itchy scalp from time to time, peppermint oil can moisturize and soothe itchiness simultaneously.
9. Use Grapeseed Oil for Oily Scalp and Jamaican Black Castor Oil for a Dry or Itchy Scalp
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The people who say that you shouldn’t oil your hair or scalp? Yeah, I totally ignore them. Scalp is still skin, and if the skin on the rest of my body needs moisture, why wouldn’t my scalp require it, too? The key is to use the kind of oils that will benefit your scalp the most. For instance, if your scalp is naturally oily, grapeseed oil is a lighter oil that’s full of vitamin E that will moisturize without weighing your hair down. Another benefit is it helps to fight frizz; plus, it’s a great complement if your hair happens to be on the finer/thinner side.
On the other hand, if your scalp is dry (and/or your hair is thick), the omega-6 and omega-9 fatty acids that are found in Jamaican black castor oil can do wonders when it comes to deeply nourishing your scalp, increasing blood circulation to it and strengthening your hair while reducing breakage on a pretty significant level. Yeah, your scalp and hair oil can definitely go hand in hand — the type of oil and not going overboard with the amount are the keys to making oil work in your favor.
10. Read Product Labels
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You’ve probably heard somewhere that 60 percent of what you put onto your skin can be absorbed into your bloodstream. While many health and skin professionals agree that it’s a conclusion that is an exaggeration, what is irrefutable is your skin does take in some amount of what you put onto it — I mean, you do have pores, after all. So, for the sake of your scalp, your hair, and your health overall, put in a bit of time to check out the labels of the hair products that you’re considering before purchasing them. Sulfates and alcohol will dry out your hair and scalp.
Parabens have been linked to cancer (because they mimic estrogen). Synthetic fragrances can irritate your scalp. Phthalates, which oftentimes create the fragrance in products, can increase your risk of heart disease. Yeah, it might take a couple of more minutes to read the fine print on hair care bottles — oh, but think about the good you’ll be doing, from head to toe, if you do. Especially as far as your scalp’s health and well-being is concerned. And isn’t it deserving? Indeed.
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Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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