

Stop Scratching: The Differences Between Dandruff And Dry Scalp
Aight. This is the kind of article that is pretty near and dear to my heart because, when it comes to caring for my scalp and hair, I have spent quite a few years trying to figure out the difference between when I've got dandruff and when my scalp is simply dry. And believe you me, it's not until you actually get that those two things are not one in the same, that you're able to get to the root of what may be causing your incessant itching, irritation and/or flaking, so that you can find some serious relief.
So, if you've already scratched your scalp once, even since reading this intro, and you're saying to yourself, "Enough is enough, dammit!", I've got some info that can definitely put you on the path towards healing your scalp and feeling much better overall.
What Is Dandruff?
So, here's the thing about dandruff. Every minute, our body sheds somewhere between 30,000-40,000 dead skin cells. Our scalp is certainly not exempt from this fact. Well, when dandruff occurs, it's the result of our scalp shedding an accelerated amount of cells. As a result, there is oftentimes noticeable flaking (flakes that are pretty large and oftentimes greasy in texture) and a significant amount of itching and scalp irritation.
As far as what causes dandruff, that is a pretty layered answer. For starters, there is a fungus/yeast that lives on most of our scalps caused Malassezia. When Malassezia gets out of control, it can result in dandruff (kind of like how when a yeast gets out of control in our vagina, it can cause a yeast infection). If Malassezia is what's triggering your dandruff, the dandruff probably won't go away until you get rid of the fungus/yeast (via topical or oral antifungal agents that may require a prescription by your doctor, depending on how bad it is). Something else that can cause dandruff to occur is a scalp that is too oily or has too much product build-up. This is problematic because oil and "gunk" is something that Malassezia actually feeds off of; that's why it's so important to keep your scalp and hair clean by washing them every 10 days or so.
Two other things that can cause dandruff that aren't discussed enough are bacterial infections and allergies. Both of these can result in the speeding up of dead skin cells. On the allergy tip, if you happen to try a new product and your scalp doesn't like it, it could end up shedding more skin cells in order to remove the product which could also cause dandruff.
As I said, dandruff is the result of all kinds of stuff. Yet knowing the main ones can help you to get to the root of what could be giving you dandruff drama.
Home Treatments for Dandruff: How to Take Care of Dandruff
Now that you know what typically triggers dandruff, I'm pretty sure you're wondering if there is anything that you can do to prevent it or, at the very least, manage it. In many cases, definitely. For starters, you might want to look into using a shampoo that has salicylic acid in it. That's a type of dissolving agent that is actually found in foods like blueberries, avocados, and pine nuts. Anyway, what it does is soften the top layer of your scalp and wash away the extra dead skin cells, so that they're less itchy and irritating. Salicylic acid also has the ability to remove oily build-up and can soothe dermatitis if you happen to have that skin issue too. (By the way, if you're low on cash, you can crush a couple of aspirin up and put them into your shampoo. It works because aspirin has salicylic acid in it.)
Next, it's important that you increase your zinc and Vitamin B intake. It's been discovered that a lot of people who struggle with dandruff happen to be low in both of these nutrients. You can take them in supplement form or you can consume foods that are high in both of these vitamins. Foods high in zinc include meat, seeds, nuts, eggs, and whole grains. Foods high in Vitamin B include leafy greens, seafood, fortified cereals, yogurt, and poultry.
If you're looking for some at-home remedies for dandruff, here are a few that are pretty effective:
- Tea tree oilcontains potent anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory properties that will fight fungus/yeast. Add a few drops of the tea tree oil to your shampoo for maximum results.
- Aloe Vera has antibacterial and antifungal properties that will not only help to protect your scalp from getting dandruff, it will also soothe your scalp as it heals from it. You can apply the gel directly to your scalp. Let it sit for about an hour and then shampoo and condition your hair as normal (just make sure the gel is 100 percent pure).
- Apple cider vinegar has the ability to balance the pH levels in your scalp. The more balanced your scalp is, the more challenging it is for fungus/yeast to thrive. Just apply one-part water and one-part apple cider vinegar as a rinse to your scalp on wash day. Let it penetrate for five minutes or so and then rinse with cool water.
- Listerine is something else that stops dandruff in its track. That's because the menthol it contains is a great fungus/yeast fighter. Simply mix two tablespoons of the mouthwash with a half-cup of distilled water. Use it as a pre-rinse before shampooing and conditioning your hair. Again, it's pretty effective.
- Manage your stress levels. It really is a trip, just how much of our overall health and well-being is tied into how stressed we are—or aren't. When it comes to dandruff specifically, when you're stressed out, your immune system is compromised. When that happens, it's easy for fungus/yeast to overtake your system.
If you try all of these DIY treatments and your dandruff does not improve, see your doctor or a dermatologist. You may need something more powerful to get the fungus/yeast under control. Also, do not skimp out on not conditioning your hair, thinking that it will help. Your scalp needs proper moisture; what it doesn't need is a ton of product build-up, so wash your hair no less than every 10-14 days (more around the 8-10 day mark while you're trying to manage your dandruff).
What Is Dry Scalp?
Now let's get into what dry scalp is all about. If you happen to live in a climate that is very dry or is extremely hot in the summer and bitterly cold in the winter; if you constantly wash your hair in hot water; if you've already got a skin condition (like eczema); if the rest of your skin is dry, or if you're dehydrated (check out "10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated"), you are definitely someone who is prone to have dry scalp.
That's because dry scalp is what happens as the direct result of your scalp not getting enough of the oil that it needs in order to stay moisturized. And, just like the rest of your body, when your scalp is parched, that can make it itchy, irritated, and can result in small flakes of dead skin coming up.
It should probably also go on record that aging can also subject you to having dry scalp, simply because, as you get older, it can be harder for your scalp to hold onto the natural sebum that your body produces. By the way, it is quite possible that you can have dandruff and dry scalp at the same time; although, if you adhere to the tips that I already provided regarding dandruff, you should be able to tell the difference between the two in no time.
Home Remedies for Dry Scalp: How to Treat Dry Scalp
As far as dry scalp goes, there are several at-home remedies that can quickly get you on the path to some real relief.
- First, it's important that you drink plenty of water. As we've already discussed, dehydration plays a real role in dry scalp, so the more water you've got into your body, the better.
- Something that can help to moisturize and heal your dry scalp is coconut oil. That's because it's an oil that has antifungal and antibacterial properties that can help to keep fungus/yeast at bay. If you're someone who likes to "oil your scalp", applying a little bit of it once or twice a week can help to make dry scalp a thing of the past.
- Foods with omega-3 fatty acids in them can help to deeply penetrate your scalp and give it extra moisture from the inside out. Some foods that have those acids in them are salmon, chia seeds, flaxseeds, walnuts and algae. While we're on the topic of diet, it's a good idea to eat more moisturizing foods, period. For some suggestions, check out "These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave" on our site.
- A great rinse for dry scalp is witch hazel. It contains some powerful astringent properties that can cleanse your scalp without stripping it dry. Combine one-part witch hazel with one-part water, along with five drops of lavender essential oil (it's got antimicrobial and antibacterial properties) and five drops of sweet almond oil (it's a deep conditioner). Pour all of this onto your hair before shampooing it. Gently massage your scalp and then shampoo and condition as usual.
- Add some jojoba oil to your shampoo. It has Vitamin E and zinc in it which will help to soothe your dry scalp while moisturizing it at the same time.
Dandruff and dry scalp can both be a pain, no doubt. Yet, more times than not, they are both pretty easy to manage, so long as you know exactly what you've got and you are consistent in applying remedies to them. Here's to being scalp healthy and itch-free, sis. For real, tho.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Whether you prefer to travel in groups, solo, or on baecations, picking the right destination is a major component of ensuring a great trip. Where you go for your next vacation can come down to price, location, activity options, and a host of other things. We’ve seen how often group trips can go awry because each person has different interests and wants to do different things. But how do you pick the right place for yourself when there’s so many options to choose from?
Choosing a destination that will provide you with the most memorable experience comes down to your own needs, and believe it or not, your love language can help with that. Our love languages are a guide to how we prefer to receive love and support, as well as how we like to give it.
Knowing about our love language can help build healthy relationships, better self-care routines, and improve our overall well-being. Imagine centering your travel around the way that you like to be loved and then experiencing that each moment of your trip. Every place around the world is unique and thus can provide a different vibe and feeling for us. Figuring out the places that align with our love language can be a game changer in how we experience the world.
Whether you’re a quality time girlie like me or prefer acts of service, here’s some of the best destinations to visit based on the five love languages.
Rome, Italy
The “Eternal City” is home to the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, and all the pasta and gelato that your heart desires. People who value acts of service love when things are done for them, and life is made easier. If that’s your jam, consider going to Rome and experiencing an authentic Italian dinner cooked by locals for you. What better act of service than having someone cook a full meal for you in their home?
No need to learn how to roll pasta dough or knead pizza. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the free-flowing wine while learning about Italian culture and having a 4-course meal provided for you. After that, take a guided city tour where someone else can show you around all the popular spots, skipping the lines and avoiding crowds.
Bangkok, Thailand
Having acts of service as your love language is not just about how others show you love but also about how you show it back. If you enjoy giving acts of service to others, consider heading to Thailand and visiting an ethical wildlife sanctuary where you can spend the day volunteering. Choose a place like Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand, where people are not allowed to touch or ride the elephants but can help with harvesting bananas, cleaning enclosures, or even helping out in the animal clinic. You’ll leave feeling a sense of pride and knowing that your time was spent in a way that made an impact.
If your love language is physical touch, you might want to visit...
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Guatemala
There are so many ways that we can experience the love language of physical touch, and Guatemala is a tropical sanctuary that can provide just that. This South American country is full of rainforests, volcanoes, and ancient ruins and can be the perfect escape to get some TLC. Consider staying at a luxury hotel like Villa Bokeh, where you can get your physical needs met through massages, yoga, or rowing on their lagoon. And if you want to explore off the resort, get those steps in with a hike of one of Guatemala’s volcanoes.
If your love language is gift giving, you might want to visit...
Dubai
There’s no better place to go to for all your shopping needs than Dubai. Whether you are a gift giver or like to be spoiled, this is where you need to be. To start, the Dubai Mall is the largest mall in the world at over 12 million square feet. With around 1,200 shops to choose from, you are bound to find something for just about everyone. Dubai is not a budget destination, so leave a little extra space in your luggage and prepare to spend a pretty coin while you’re there. If luxury gifts aren’t your thing, head to the Covent Garden Market, where you can shop local vendors for more affordable items.
If your love language is quality time, you might want to visit...
Costa Rica
Whether you’re planning a cute baecation or a solo trip, quality time is all about disconnecting and spending intentional time with your loved one or yourself. Costa Rica is an ideal location to be off the grid and be present. Spend some special time with bae at a nice resort, enjoying a couples massage, a trip to the rainforest, or a sunset dinner. There’s something about being off the grid that allows us to be more present with each other.
If you want to get in some DND solo quality time, book a stay at Nayara Springs Resort, located on the outskirts of Antigua, where you can enjoy uninterrupted and secluded relaxation while indulging in amenities like yoga classes and a hot springs pool.
Marco VDM/Getty Images
Tanzania
There are many ways to spend quality time with yourself or others, so why not do it in one of the most beautiful countries in the world? Explore Dar es Salaam with family, learn about the history of Tanzania, and then spend more quality time at the beach on Mbudya Island. If you are looking for a more romantic trip or quality time on your own, go out to Zanzibar, the archipelago off the coast of Tanzania. Here you’ll find some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and can stroll through the historical Stone Town.
If your love language is words of affirmation, you might want to visit...
Paris, France
If words of affirmation get you feeling all tingly inside, then why not take a trip to the "City of Love," Paris, France? Not only is Paris considered the mecca for love, but French is literally one of the world’s romance languages. So take a French lesson where you can learn how to speak beautiful words about yourself, or if you’re with bae, take a stroll by the Eiffel Tower at night while sharing some of the things you appreciate about each other.
Bonus points if you can say it in French.
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Featured image by Diamond Dogs/Getty Images