

Jessica Zziwa. Indigenous Strandz. StayUniquee. Merry Curly. Maryam Hampton. BeYoutifully Natural. Seun Okimi. Believe you me, I could go on and on but for the sake of time and space, those are seven naturalistas on YouTube who have some pretty long hair (most of 'em are Type 4 hair too). I thought that shouting them out would be a great way to intro this because, if one of your New Year's desires is to have the longest ponytail ever come Christmastime, those women can inspire you—right along with some tips that I've got down below.
I won't lie to y'all. Genetics play a valid role in how long our hair gets and how fast it gets there. Yet if you're someone who thinks that you can't get longer tresses than you've ever had because your hair simply doesn't grow, that's a bold-faced lie. It grows. Somewhere around one-half inch and an inch a month, to be exact. You've just got to make sure that you do all that you can to retain your inches. That's where these tips come in.
How To Grow An Inch Of Hair Each Month
If your deepest desire is to keep as much new growth as possible, apply the following 10 suggestions and watch how close to your goal you get by around this time next year.
1. Take the “Less Is More” Approach
When I first began my own length retention journey, I would literally spend hours a week on YouTube, listening to what different naturalistas would put in their own hair to get the inches that they had. One tip that had me super stoked, I wrote about on here ("Looking For Hair Growth? It Might Be Time To Bring 'Blue Magic' Back"). I got so excited that I purchased 4-5 tubs of Blue Magic, right out the gate. Unfortunately, using it more than to seal my ends every once in a while ended up being way too heavy for my hair (although some folks have been thriving with it). Anyway, after spending more money than I ever thought I would on a bunch of other products that are still in both of my bathroom cabinets, the thought crossed my mind to simplify and see if that would be my best bet. It was. Hands down.
I'm not even going to get into the specific products that worked for me vs. the ones that didn't because it doesn't really matter. All of us are unique, so it really is different strokes for different folks. What I will say is clogging up your hair follicles and weighing down your strands with tons of stuff is gonna probably do more harm than good. So, get to know your hair type and texture, try a few things that are branded for those two things specifically and wait at least a month to see how it all turns out. In the long run, you'll probably come to realize what I did—that less (product) really is more when it comes to hair growth.
2. Boost Your Collagen Intake
If you want your hair to thrive, it definitely needs protein. Something that a lot of people don't realize is collagen is one of the most abundant forms of protein that there is. The reason why it's so good for your tresses is because, for one thing, your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin). Also, collagen provides your hair with the amino acids that are necessary to build protein. Also, collagen fights off free radicals at the root (your hair follicles) and, as bonuses, it can slow down hair thinning and greying as well.This is why it's wise to eat foods that contain a good amount of collagen in them. Some of those include fish, chicken, berries, citrus fruits, red bell peppers, tomatoes and bone broth. If you'd like, you can also take a collagen supplement. A list of some of the best ones for 2021 can be found here.
3. Stay Hydrated
Our bodies are made up of more than 60 percent water, so of course, we need to consume a lot of it on a daily basis. Unfortunately, 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated which can lead to all sorts of health issues. If you're wondering if you could be among that number, check out "10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated". As far as your hair goes, a sign that it could use some extra hydration from the inside out is if your strands feel dry and brittle, no matter what you do or if your scalp dry.
In the quest to have long hair, a lot of people overlook very simple steps. When it comes to making sure that your hair is moisturized, it's not going to matter how many moisture-rich products you use if your system is begging for water on the inside. So, definitely make sure that you get no less than eight glasses a day. Your hair will thank you with every sip.
4. Take a Vitamin B12 Supplement
A vitamin deficiency that is actually pretty prevalent within the Black community is Vitamin B12. What are some signs that you could be low in it? You're irritable. You have low energy. Your vision is blurry. You have an unexplainable shortness of breath. You're constipated. You sense that your muscles are weak. Your tongue feels "slicker" than usual. There's a random numbing or tingling feeling throughout your body. You've got memory loss. Your hair follicles are dormant.
Since Vitamin B12 is something that helps to keep your iron in good condition, when you don't have enough of it in your system, it can weaken the blood supply to your hair follicles which can result in weak follicles, hair thinning and even hair loss. This is why it's also a good idea to take a Vitamin B12 supplement and to eat foods that are loaded with this particular nutrient. Some of those include fortified cereals, salmon, eggs, Greek yogurt, and beef.
5. Wash Your Scalp More than Your Hair
A huge mistake that folks make when it comes to wash day is focusing a ton on their actual hair more than their scalp. The reason why this is a no-no is because your scalp is the foundation of your hair. If you don't get all of the gunk and build-up off of it, ultimately, your hair isn't going to thrive. Not only that but I once read an article that said, that a part of the reason why it seems that white women have more success with length retention is they shampoo their hair more often which means their scalp gets massaged more in the process.
First up—white women's hair doesn't grow faster. Their hair is straighter (so it appears that way), it's naturally oily (which makes it harder to break) and we experience more shrinkage (by a country mile). Second, I didn't just say all of that so that you would up your wash day frequency (more than once a week can rob your hair of the little natural oil that it has).
However, it is a good idea to detox your scalp once every 4 to 6 weeks, and massage your scalp at least once a week (all you need is to warm up a carrier oil like jojoba or avocado, put a few drops of lavender in it and then use your fingertips to rub your scalp for 5-10 minutes), and to definitely put more emphasis on washing your scalp than your hair. The key is to get your scalp really clean so that your follicles are healthy; your hair doesn't need that "squeaky feeling", tho. The cleanser that drips down from your scalp is more than enough.
6. Rinse Hair in Cool Water
It definitely feels divine to let hot water run down your hair and scalp, but it's actually not the best thing for your hair's progress. It's because hot (or even super warm) water can end up drying out your hair and causing frizz. So, how can you avoid all of this? By actually rinsing your hair in cool water after your deep condition it (because you do that every wash day so that it's extra moisturized, right?). Cool water is what will help to seal your hair's cuticles while closing the pores on your scalp too.
7. Dust More than Trim
Is there anything more annoying than uneven hair growth? When you want to get your hair down your back, probably not. The thing is, having one side of your hair that is thicker and grows faster is pretty normal, for two reasons. One reason is that the left vs. the right side of our bodies is not identical. This is why one of your feet or breasts may be bigger than the other. The other reason is that we tend to give one side of our hair more stress than the other when it comes to things like constantly sleeping on one side, parting our hair on one side—stuff like that.
While you would think that the remedy may be to constantly cut the "thriving side" so that it will catch up with the "weaker" one, that is actually gonna be more counterproductive than not. Your best bet would be to focus on dusting (lightly trimming) your ends (you can watch videos on how to do that here, here, and here) and then keeping your hair in a protective style so that you don't even have to think about it. Then, once the weaker side has made some real progress, you can get a trim to even things out. Make sense?
8. Remember That Protein Is Essential
Again, your hair is made up of protein, so it needs a lot of it in order to remain healthy and strong. Aside from what I already shared about getting more collagen into your system, something else that you should do is eat other foods that are high in protein. Meat is an automatic protein booster. If meat's not your thing, check out "Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods." for a list of other options.
Speaking of protein, it's also really important that you give yourself a protein treatment, about every six weeks. It's what will help to improve your hair's elasticity, so that it can endure more of the styling and manipulation that you do. A lot of people notice more breakage than they should because they miss this small-yet-impactful step. I hit on this specifically in "10 Things Your Natural Hair Needs In The Winter".
9. Leave Permanent Dye Alone
There used to be a time when you couldn't guess what color my hair was going to be on a pretty much weekly basis. Now that I know how detrimental hair dye and chemical relaxers are, especially to our health ("our" meaning Black women), I tend to use hair wax or a semi-permanent alternative (henna is a pretty good one too). Besides, if you are serious about gaining ½-1" of growth each month, permanent hair color is gonna be your ultimate nemesis. The main reason why is because the ammonia in hair dye strips your tresses of its natural pigment (in order to deposit the color) which can make your hair brittle as all get out. And if your hair keeps breaking off, you'll never reach your hair goals.
I know for some of you, it sucks to even think about going without dye. But sometimes we've gotta make sacrifices for the greater goal. Bottom line, color or inches? In 2021, which one is it gonna be?
10. Use Saw Palmetto Oil
If there's a new oil that you'd like to try on your hair, my vote is saw palmetto. It has a great reputation for preventing and even restoring hair loss because it blocks an androgen known as DHT from developing in our bodies. Why does that matter? Because DHT plays a direct role in hair loss. Saw palmetto also has a pretty good reputation for increasing hair density too. Not only that but it's an oil that can decrease inflammation, treat urinary tract infections and can regulate your man's testosterone levels too. For internal health benefits, it's probably best to consume it as a supplement (like maybe a liquid extract) or in tea form. If you want it to be the main oil that you use for those scalp massages that we already talked about, a cool place to purchase some is right here.
11. Apply Extreme TLC to Your Ends
One more time for those in the back. Again, a myth that you need to make sure to debunk for the rest of your life is your hair doesn't grow. That is a damn lie. If you are living, your hair is growing. The reason why a lot of us don't see proof of this is because our ends break off as fast as our roots grow. The way to prevent this from (further) happening to you is to treat the ends of your hair like you would a newborn baby in the sense that you choose to treat them oh so very gently. Seal them on wash day. Try and keep your hair in a protective style (even if that's a wig) most days of the week. Wrap your hair up in a silk or satin scarf (or bonnet) at night (friction is your hair's enemy too). Let straggly ends go. When your hair is out, keep your hands out of it. Simple things like this will keep your ends about as fresh as your roots.
12. Stick with What Works
Out of all of what I said, the main thing to remember when it comes to achieving hair growth is you've absolutely got to be as patient with the process as possible. The reality is, growing out your hair is a lot like baking some cookies—if you keep watching the oven or your roots, it's going to seem like nothing is happening. However, if you cultivate a routine, stick with it and try and leave your hair alone as much as possible, by June you could have 4-6 inches and by December…at least double that!
Alright. Let me get off of here and nurture these cornrows I've got so that I can walk the talk, chile. Let's all check back in around the holidays to see how things have been going. Can't wait to see you flipping your hair back. Whew, girl. #wink
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Bored With Your Partner's Body? 10 Tips To Breathe New Life Into Your Bedroom.
Recently, while checking out a movie, a wife said that she and her husband were trying to come up with creative things to do in the bedroom because, it wasn’t so much that their sex life had become boring, but “it is stale and repetitive” (which gee, sure does sound like a definition of boring to me — LOL). It’s not the first time I’ve heard that because some of my own clients in real life bring that very issue up from time to time.
What’s interesting about boredom, though, is a variety of things can be the root cause of it: a lack of interest, no sense of purpose, stress or anxiety or having a short attention span are some of the popular reasons. And that’s why, whenever a couple presents boredom to me, especially sexual boredom, I encourage them to figure out what they mean when they use the word. Knowing that can help to point them in the direction of what they need to do next (seeing a sex therapist might be the way to go — check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”).
Today? Today we’re gonna address another definition of boring: “monotonous or repetitive activities.” What should you do when, what you find to be boring is your partner’s body? It’s not because you don’t love them anymore or even that you don’t still enjoy intimacy with them — it’s just that you are in an exclusive (if you’re dating) or monogamous (if you’re married — check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”) dynamic, what do you do when you kind of feel like the visuals are hella predictable which can make intimacy a bit…well, drab?
Listen, just because folks may not talk about it openly, that doesn’t mean that this isn’t a real issue. If it’s something that you’re currently experiencing right now — don’t feel bad or guilty. Sex has seasons just like almost everything in life. The key is to handle this season responsibly. These 10 tips are designed to help you to do that…so that you can get the excitement (of your partner’s body) back into your bedroom again.
1. Dress Up for Dates
Give pushback if you want to, yet it’s my personal opinion that the pandemic still has a chokehold on a lot of us when it comes to fashion — or the lack thereof. It’s like lockdown had us used to being in PJs and joggers for so long that far too many people are still struggling to actually dress up. That’s a shame too because if you wanna see our people show up and all the way out, put a woman in a little black dress and a man in a tailored suit. WHEW.
And just what does that have to do with today’s topic? Well, think about gifts that you’ve received in the past. What made them more appealing? When someone just handed them to you out of a shopping bag or when they made the time to “dress them up” in some fancy wrapping paper or a gift bag and some pretty tissue paper? Our bodies are similar because, well, just think about it — no matter how often you’ve seen your man with no clothes on, when he’s all dressed up, doesn’t he turn into a level of fine that makes him super sexy and hella appealing again?
That’s why my first tip would be for the two of you to not just go out on dates more than you currently are but to DRESS UP for them too. Seeing how good he looks in his clothes in public can motivate you to want to take them off in private.
2. Schedule a Professional Photoshoot and Post Them in Your Bedroom
Since a fair amount of my friends are entertainment industry folks, they are good for taking professional pictures. No, I don’t mean asking someone to use their phone to capture them while they are on stage. I mean that they schedule a photoshoot with a reputable photographer — and you know what? As much as I see some of these people, I continue to be awed by what photographers can bring out of them…hell, just with the lighting alone.
The same thing can happen for how you see your man. Yep, book a photoshoot — one that consists of consulting with the photographer about what your partner would look best in. Once the shoot is done, go through the pictures, select 1-4 of your faves, blow them up a bit, and then mount or frame them in your bedroom. Walking into the space where you probably have the most sex and seeing him at his best is the type of visual turn-on that is absolutely underrated.
3. Go “All Out Sexy” in the Bedroom
Sometimes the truth hurts and if you and your partner have been going to bed looking like who-shot-what, chances are, you’re not bored, what you are is low-key irritated — and you absolutely should be. The reality is most of us spend at least 6-8 hours a night in bed and if someone is in there with us, we should stop acting like they don’t want something appealing to look at. So, this coming weekend, y’all should make some time to hop online and select some attractively seductive sleepwear. It doesn’t always have to be a lace teddy for you or expensive silk boxers for him but damn, at least a really cute tank and booty shorts for you and some boxer briefs that are in your favorite color for him. Sex or not…tease each other a lil’ bit. Visually.
4. Play Around with Lighting
Personally, I find myself doing more online shopping and then altering whatever doesn’t fit the way that I like. A part of the reason why I prefer going this route is because the lighting that’s in a lot of stores? Oh, how they suck. Yeah, lighting can really alter our perception of so many things — which is why changing your lighting also makes the list of what you can do if you are in a season of being bored with your partner’s body. See how he looks under candlelight. See how he looks as a “red light special” (shout-out to TLC’s song and visual and how well actor Boris Kodjoe is aging — the real ones know).
LED lights that sync up to music? Those are bomb as well. I’m telling you, I don’t care how much of a “rerun” it might be, a Black man in some cool blue or warm gold lighting is sexy, sexy, sexy…and then some.
5. Use Blindfolds (More Often)
When you get a chance, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.” Then afterwards, pick up a couple of (more) blindfolds. Part of the reason why blindfolds are such a staple for foreplay (especially) is because, when one of your five senses — sight, touch, hearing, taste, and sound — is subdued, that ends up amplifying the other four that remain (more on that in a bit). And chile, when you’re blindfolded during sex, not only does it increase anticipation about whatever is coming your way, but it can also help your imagination to run wild — and that can be quite the aphrodisiac.
6. Give Erotic Massages
When it comes to sex, specifically, something that I appreciate about the art of the massage is it encourages people to focus on not-so-common parts of the body (a common one? Check out “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage”). For instance, sensual massages are all about slowing down and using your hands to not only focus on one part/area of someone else’s body but to do some exploring too.
And even though the main purpose of an erotic massage is to touch the parts of your partner that will turn them on, it’s still a massage that is all about touching lightly, using body parts other than your hands, and exploring new ways to turn your partner on. Since giving a massage is a way to encourage you to exercise a bit of restraint, that can “build you up” to have the desire to indulge in your partner’s body more — whether you’ve experienced it dozens of times before or not.
7. Explore Other Erogenous Zones
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” isn’t exactly a motto that I would recommend for the bedroom. The main reason why is because, if you’re not careful, it can cause you to become pretty lazy on the sexual tip — and that is never good. That being said if you’re at the point where you’re feeling a bit bored with your partner’s body, this (probably) means that you both have learned “which buttons to push” when it comes to sexually pleasing one another.
And that means it’s time to explore some new territory. If you already know their favorite erogenous zones, determine in your mind to learn some different ones — some “uncharted territory,” if you will. Healthline once published an article that said there are a little over 30 different ones out here. Can you honestly say that you’ve tested each and every one of those out? C’mon now.
8. Focus on Your Other Four Senses
Looking at your partner’s body only covers one of the five senses: sight. Okay, but what efforts are you putting into hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling? For hearing, how’s y’all’s dirty talk game been lately? Touch? Bring in different sex toys and fabrics to see what can cultivate new sensations. Tasting? Well, read “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious” and then try something new.
Smell? Scents that have been proven to be sexually arousing include jasmine, vanilla, rose, sandalwood, patchouli, cinnamon, and a blend of pumpkin and lavender (especially if they’re placed in erogenous-zoned spots). Honing in on the other senses can make you appreciate sight more. Try it. I think that you will like it.
9. Think of Their “Best” Body Part. Have Sex in That Position.
No matter how often you’ve seen his body before, I’m willing to bet that you’ve got a favorite part. Think about it and then figure out which sex position will give you the best view of it. If it’s his chest, get on top. If it’s his legs, fellatio counts as sex because oral sex is sex. If it’s his torso, have him penetrate you while he’s standing up. I could expound yet y’all get my drift.
And if I didn’t mention your favorite part, check out SheKnows’s “69 Sex Positions to Put on Your Bucket List Immediately” to get some inspiration — because how can you not see his body as eye candy when you’re looking at the part of it you like the most as you’re receiving all kinds of pleasure. Whew.
10. Record a Session (or Two)
Ever made a sex tape before? Although I will be the first to say that you need to exercise extreme discretion when it comes to this tip — if you’ve been having sex with someone long enough to experience bouts of boredom with their body, I’m assuming that you’ve built up some trust over time (right?). Anyway, something that’s sexy about a sex tape is it can help you to see you and your partner from another angle/perspective — and that also can be pretty damn appealing. So, if it’s something that the two of you have never tried…try it. Looking at the two of you enjoying each other can give you a greater appreciation for his body — and what it has the ability to do to you.
BONUS: Ask Yourself If You’re “Bored” or “Not Attracted”
It’s kind of a full-circle moment with this one because, as I bring this to a close, I’ve got to put on record that it really is one thing to be bored — another entirely to not be attracted. Case in point — when it comes to one of my exes, the sex itself was actually pretty good. Still, I had to kind of “force myself” sometimes through it because I wasn’t very attracted to him…not ever really (you’d be amazed how much that can happen when you like the person’s personality and not so much their looks).
Although I will NEVER put myself in that position again, sometimes people are so invested in their relationship that they don’t just want to end it due to this alone. If that is what you are going through, please speak with a therapist/counselor/life coach. Depending on how deep the issues go, they may be able to provide you with some tips and tools to make things easier.
____
One thing about boredom is that creativity can totally help it out. And what this means is a part of what creates boredom is laziness (ouch) or a lack of intention. And what this means is if you’re willing to do something about the current state of boredom that you are going through, there is a big chance that you can get rid of it. No matter what the cause of it may be.
Try the steps. Report back. Something tells me that you might feel better about things in your bedroom.
Just a hunch.
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