Cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it… yo split ends way too long you need to cut itttt.
Like many ladies, there were few things I used to hate more than cutting my hair. Prior to transitioning, I would spend what felt like all year growing my hair out 2-3 inches just to lose what little new growth I gained after my bi-annual trim. I would go back and forth with my hairstylist, asking her just to "dust the ends" or to "keep as much length as possible," but in reality, those ends needed to go. Period.
As DeeJa B mentions in her Instagram video, many of us are trying to keep our "denial length" – barely trimming our hair and keeping dead length because we are in "denial" that our ends are damaged and that trimming them will truly lead to healthier hair. You know who you are. Let those ends go, sis.
Per collaboration with Houston-based stylist and owner of Shay BeYOUty, Shayna Matthews, most ladies pursuing healthy hair should trim their ends every 4-6 weeks depending on heat and color damage, protective styling frequency, chemical treatment, natural hair product usage, thickness, and overall growth speed. Note: these trims do not need to be drastic, a snip here and a snip there. But split ends become progressively worse the longer you wait to trim them off. For some, lightly trimming your hair earlier on and more consistently can help you keep the length that would need to be all cut off by stalling your trim for 10+ months.
To combat damage, Shay recommends that "trims and treatments should go hand in hand. Often what is causing your ends to split is the overall lack of moisture and resulting dryness that comes from daily manipulation – especially if you're using chemicals and heat."
Whether you are all natural or rocking a relaxer, Shay recommends that ladies are religious about their deep conditioning to replenish the moisture our hair desperately needs.
I, for one, can say that I've traditionally been pretty bad about keeping up with my trims – maybe 1 or 2 times a year. But I can now say that I have seen a noticeable progression in my hair health and length over the last year since working to keep my ends clipped and hair moisturized. After making excuses at my last few appointments, I promised myself that at my next visit, I would get a trim all the way up to the green line (as illustrated in the picture above) and not slide by with a trim only to the red or yellow line.
And this time around, I did. Although seeing my new growth was so satisfying, I knew that my dead ends had to go. Healthy hair is trimmed hair.
Are you waiting too long to trim your dead ends? Chances are that you might be. Check out the tips below for different hair textures and treatment levels in order to keep your hair trimmed and healthy.
Color-Treated Hair
Dyed hair is particularly fragile and the chemicals can be harsh, both on your ends and roots. When highlighting hair, it strips a layer off the hair strand, the lipid layer, which is responsible for lubricating the membrane, ultimately causing more porous hair, texture changes, and increased breakage and dryness if color is applied too frequently and without moisture replacement. To keep your hair from getting to the point of breakage, aim for a trim every 4-6 weeks and frequent conditioning treatments.
Relaxed & Chemical-Treated Hair
Like dyed hair, relaxed and chemical treated hair are also very fragile. To keep your hair from getting too damaged, which happens easily with relaxed hair, try to trim every 4-6 weeks depending on your hair texture and growth speed. If you are combining chemical treatments, like a relaxer and color, frequent moisturizing should be your top priority to avoid damage.
Natural Hair (with semi-frequent heat usage)
From blow-outs to silk presses, semi-frequent heat usage on your natural hair isn't inherently a bad thing but should always follow with the use of a good heat protectant (my favorite is Redken Smooth Lock Heat Glide!) Since heat can weaken the ends of our hair and cause dryness if heat is applied too frequently, it is recommended that ladies with natural hair also get more frequent trims and stay moisturized. Depending on your hair length, density, and growth speed, trims every 4-6 weeks might be a good option. If your hair grows more slowly, opt for every 2-3 months.
Natural Hair (without heat usage)
Trimming natural hair comes down to knowing your texture and overall hair growth speed. Some ladies will only gain 2 inches all year and it will be completely healthy, while others gain 4+ inches a year but are manipulating it a lot with a number of products and high-tension hairstyles. Even natural hair styling can be rough on your ends if you are constantly doing twist-outs, and some products are so thick that they can suffocate your hair. That being said, for some, trimming every 3-4 months may help maintain length and health, while for others, trimming every 1-2 months is a better option.
Protective Styles
Whether you consistently rock braids or wigs, your hair underneath still needs a trim or it can get damaged despite the new growth. High tension styles like cornrows and weaves can be rough on your ends and edges, so don't put off your trims for too long. Like natural hair with less frequent heat usage, depending on your hair length, density, and growth speed, try to trim your hair every 4-8 weeks. If your hair grows more slowly, trim your hair every 2-3 months.
All images provided by Lydia Anglin; Featured image via Giphy
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Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate who is passionate about using her voice to enact change in minority and female communities. Dubbed the "Intern Queen," she has worked 8+ internships in diverse industries, including Wall Street firms and the Obama White House, and is now bringing her career and lifestyle tips to you! Meet Lydia on Instagram @queen_of_anglin and Twitter @its_lit_dia.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Serena Williams Hits Back At Skin-Bleaching Accusations: 'I’m A Dark, Black Woman, And I Love Who I Am'
Serena Williams is clapping back at skin-bleaching accusations. During a makeup tutorial for her beauty brand, Wyn Beauty, the tennis legend took the opportunity to address the "haters."
“And then I put just that neutral color, that is actually my skin color, and no, for you haters out there, I do not bleach my skin,” she said. “There is a thing called sunlight, and in that sunlight, you get different colors.”
The rumors started after the mom of two posted a video of herself and her husband, Alexis Ohanian, at their daughter's school play. In the video, she appeared to look a few shades lighter. During her response, she revealed that she was volunteering at the play and wore stage makeup.
“Yes, I’m calling you out on this because it is ridiculous that everyone’s like, ‘Oh, she bleached her skin,’" she said. "I’m a dark, Black woman, and I love who I am, and I love how I look and that's just not my thing.”
The 23-time Grand Slam champion also said that she doesn't judge anyone who bleaches their skin as she "stays in my lane."
Serena has always had style on and off the court, and even collaborated with Nike with her own collection Serena Williams Design Crew. However, the tennis champ has now pivoted into beauty.
Wyn Beauty was launched in April 2024 with at 10-piece collection of lip, eye, and complexion products. The brand was inspired by Serena's time on the court and the packaging is reminiscent of a tennis ball due to its chartreuse color.
“Throughout my career, I was always searching for makeup that looked good after hours on the court, mixing products myself and creating my own formulas while traveling the world,” she said in a statement. As she continues to make a name for herself in the beauty industry, I'm sure we will see a lot more looks from the tennis star.
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Feature image by Marc Piasecki/WireImage