The Signs You’re Settling For A "Good Enough" Relationship

Being hurt a few times is no reason to give up a lifetime of happiness.

Love & Relationships

I've seen a few of my girlfriends do this over the years: they settled for a very stable but totally passion-less relationship, as a response to being burned in the past. They did the whole tumultuous-but-exciting thing one too many times. They became tired and fragile. I hear some of them say things like, "Well, this is a more mature relationship" or "It was time to grow up."

Damn. What a, um, thrilling way to discuss your romantic relationship. Sounds like they're purchasing an insurance policy.

I do agree that it's important to have mature, stable relationships, but they don't need to be void of passion and fun. Some of my friends talk about their relationship in a way that sounds like, "Well, it was time for me to give up my freedom, so I turned in my belongings and am happily going to prison now. The warden is very nice here." Look, I get it, hanging in there until you find someone who both makes you feel safe and excited isn't easy. It isn't for the meek of heart.

But being hurt a few times is no reason to give up a lifetime of happiness, all in the name of feeling "safe". You can have both. You can be with someone who makes your heart race but also puts you at ease.

Not everyone is willing to wait to find that, though...

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You know what? Sometimes, you've got to push a few coins aside and determine in your mind that you're going to invest into your sex life (if you had a sex jar, this would be easier to do, by the way. You can read more about what that is all about here). If you're someone who is totally down to do that, but you don't have a clue where to begin, boy have you come to the right place! Between the joy of being a writer who sometimes gets samples sent to me, the constant research that I do for the couples I work with and having folks shout-out certain items semi-often, I've compiled a list of 12 sex-related items that may seem random AF (a pun is kind of intended there) and, at the same time, can make sex so much better between you and your partner. Where's your pad at? You're definitely gonna wanna take note.

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