There are four words to describe a relationship between a Libra man and a Cancer woman: Love At First Sight. A meeting between a Libra Man and Cancer Woman is one filled with a sense of kismet. In terms of love compatibility, the initial connection between these two signs is incredibly strong, it may almost feel karmic in nature.
It's as if you both were meant to meet, connect and grow together. Even if this relationship starts off platonically, which it typically does, you both will find that you have a fast and emotionally strong bond with each other right out of the gate.
Generally speaking, there is an inherent compatibility in the way you both relate to each other and to the world. You feel comfortable letting your guard down a lot quicker with each other than you typically do with other signs.
Contrary to the skeptics, naysayers and haters that this pairing typically brings, a relationship between a Cancer woman and a Libra man is able to stand the test of time - in spite of how quickly it progresses.
What attracts a Libra man and a Cancer woman to each other?
When a Cancer woman first lays eyes on a Libra man, she feels as if she's finally found a safe haven; a man who she easily connects with emotionally and intellectually. Contrary to past relationships with narcissists who aimed to take advantage of Cancer's deeply sensitive nature, the Libra male does not have any ulterior motives. Sensing this, Cancer steps out of her protective shell and finally lets her guard down.
Similarly, the Libra man is intensely drawn to his Cancer woman's classic femininity and vulnerability. Her sensitivity triggers a strong protective instinct in him. He feels deep compassion for her and wants to do whatever it takes to finally bring her peace and happiness. With his Cancer woman, the Libra man finally feels like a man; like a "knight in shining armor." Libra's subtle masculinity is affirmed and strengthened by his relationship with the female crab.
What is a relationship like between a Cancer woman and a Libra man?
Fair-minded and partnership-oriented Libra, a monogamist at heart who has a deep respect for women, ultimately wants to settle down. Looking for a life partner, Libra finds his Cancer woman's wifely, affectionate attributes irresistible.
In turn, the mature Cancer woman, typically overcoming a history of past relationships with toads and bad-boy types, is attracted to Libra's reassurance and openness. Cancer feels like she has finally found a safe haven in her Libra man. He is her happily ever after. She is attracted to his emotional intelligence, charm, confidence, and protectiveness.
What is sex like between a Libra man and a Cancer woman?
Sex between a Libra man and a Cancer woman is extremely balanced. There is a fair share of give and take during sex between these two signs. Both Cancer and Libra are extremely open in the bedroom; they will go above and beyond in making sure their partner is satisfied.
Cancer is intensely emotional, passionate, and sexually intuitive. She expresses her love, vulnerability, and repressed emotions through sex. She is happy to receive all that her partner has to give to her and knows the exact tricks for drawing out even the most stoic, nonchalant partners sexually and emotionally. Because of Cancer's deeply emotional nature, empathic Libra may find himself reaching new sexual heights with Cancer. Her sex is all-consuming and will literally leave him with his mind blown.
Libra enjoys light and fun sex. He prides himself on pleasing his partner sexually and catering to her physical needs. He makes a point to tend to his partner emotionally during the act, constantly checking in and reading her body language to ensure she is getting the most out of her experience with him. In bed, Libra makes Cancer feel extremely sexy, safe, and respected.
Sex between both Cancer and Libra is fun, open and explorative, and physically and emotionally fulfilling to both parties.
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What makes a relationship between a Cancer woman and a Libra man work?
A relationship between a Cancer woman and Libra man just clicks into place. Cancer women need reassurance, and Libra is happy to provide! In her Libra man, the Cancer woman has finally found someone to who she can safely open up emotionally. He patiently provides much-needed balance and objectivity to her life.
Libra wants an affectionate woman who is devoted to him; someone who can nurture and provide for him in ways that he may tend to neglect for himself. Appearances are incredibly important to a Libra man and his Cancer woman fits the bill, often presenting herself to the public in a demure and classically feminine way.
Libra likes to feel needed and Cancer effortlessly affirms this need. The love between the Cancer woman and the Libra man is incredibly balanced and flows naturally.
What may cause a Cancer woman and a Libra man to break up?
The incompatibility between these two lies solely in the conflict between Cancer's moodiness and Libra's deep aversion to conflict. Libra, while deeply empathetic, may reach a point where he feels repulsed by an unevolved Cancer's emotional murkiness. He may no longer be able to serve as her safe space, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by the depths of Cancer's emotions and sensitivity. If this occurs, he is likely to detach from the relationship in an attempt to recalibrate and reclaim his sense of balance and peace.
Once Libra has decided he has had enough emotionally, he may return to his safe space - his highly social and flirtatious lifestyle. He prefers and enjoys the company of women - platonically and otherwise - which may trigger Cancer's deep insecurities.
In this worst-case scenario, Cancer runs the risk of feeling neglected or even betrayed. After finally letting her walls down and building up enough courage to express her deep emotions to her Libra man, she may find herself perturbed and feeling abandoned by Libra's sudden detachment and insensitivity.
The key to avoiding this disaster scenario is in providing each other with plenty of space and patience. Cancer will need space and patience from Libra, at times, to process and manage her fluctuating moods. Libra will need space and patience from Cancer when Libra is indecisive or stir-crazy and needs to express that restless energy through social interaction with others.
Even when the relationship is flowing smoothly, Cancer may often find herself at odds with Libra's estrogen-charged social and family circle. She feels threatened by the familiar and flirtatious charge of his relationships with other women. Libra's female friends, in turn, feel threatened by the Cancer woman, questioning her authenticity and worrying that she will take their beloved Libra away from them.
Summary
The relationship between a Libra man and Cancer woman is deeply emotional and has the strong potential to stand the test of time. Sexually, emotionally and intellectually, both parties naturally click and effortlessly fall into complementary roles. They see eye to eye on what their futures should look like and are able to work through problems openly and maturely.
The best way to ensure success between the Libra man and the Cancer woman is through maintaining open communication, respecting each other's unique emotional needs and love languages, and allowing each other plenty of room and freedom to recharge on your own.
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As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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