Another summer has come and gone, and now we enter the season of letting go. Fall 2024 is amid Eclipse Season and Retrograde Season, and there is a lot to process, heal from, and renew over the next few months. Fall is also when the veil between this world and the next is the thinnest, and when a lot of spiritual insight, intuitive connection, and magic are born as well.
This fall, we are being asked to slow down and focus on what we are creating in our reality at every moment. This time is all about remaining present, grateful, and in tune with your soul’s desires.
Fall 2024 Cosmic Forecast: An Overview
Fall began on the first day of the Libra Season, Sep. 22, and this air sign energy is exactly what a lot of fall is about. We are processing, loving, and also learning how to go with the flow a little bit more after a more detail-oriented Virgo Season. One of the most significant transits happening this fall is the New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra occurred on Oct. 2, facilitating changes, new beginnings, and breakthroughs in love.
This New Moon Eclipse is important because it is the last Libra Eclipse on the Libra/Aries axis, which began in early 2023 and will end in March 2025 with an Aries Eclipse. So think back to what you intended for and were trying to create in your life spring of 2023 to see what is culminating for you now. This is a beautiful eclipse of surprise opportunities in love and is all about finding your balance.
Saturn, Pluto, Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, Neptune, and Uranus are all Retrograde at one point this fall. Thankfully, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn at the beginning of fall on Oct. 11, and Mercury will only be Retrograde for a few weeks in Sagittarius from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, however, with all of these retrogrades happening, there is a slowing down needed this fall.
Mars only goes retrograde only every two years so the fact that we are ending the year in a Mars retrograde is very telling. Mars will be in Leo from Nov. 3, 2024, until Jan. 17, 2024, and will be retrograde from in both Leo and Cancer from Dec. 6 until Feb 23. Mars is all about direction, passion, and energy, and you could be feeling a lack of all the above during this time. This retrograde overall is an opportunity to redirect your energy, refocus your goals, and take more time with the things that need to develop.
Before fall comes to a close, we have a Full Moon in Gemini and Mercury goes direct after being retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15. With this energy, there is more opportunity for nurture, understanding, and enjoyment as we end the season. Overall, fall is teaching us the importance of setting your intentions and being able to let go of them so that they can come true for you.
This is the time when your inspirations and passions are being highlighted, but also when the nuances of them are as well. You can find your abundance in the here and now, and it’s all about remembering your power in life and in love.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see how Fall 2024 will be for you.
Your Fall 2024 Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
Blessings are coming to fruition for you this fall, and you are experiencing some extra good luck and fortune during this time, Aries. Intentions are culminating, and you get to enjoy your manifestations with the people who love and support you 100% right now. Over the next few months, this is a good time to be with family, grow in abundance, allow people to support you, and plant your roots.
We have a Supermoon in Aries at the start of fall on Oct. 17, and a lot of eyes are on you right now. Life is coming full circle in a way to where you are feeling appreciative of everything that has happened until now and where other people want to come in and further support you as well.
TAURUS
This fall is about your healing journey, Taurus. There is a lot to process right now, and you are learning to protect your energy more. With an Eclipse happening in your opposite sign as the season begins, you are being redirected almost immediately and are being given space to change course. Relationships are a highlight for you this fall, and you will be learning through what is reflected to you in love.
The Supermoon in your sign on Nov. 15 is a good time for you to let go of a lot of the emotional heaviness you have been feeling in your life and to give yourself a fresh start. Use this fall as an opportunity to grow closer to your heart and to understand the different patterns in love that have been playing out for you this year.
GEMINI
This fall is a time of partnership for you, Gemini. You are aligned with love and are experiencing the benefits of a good connection. You have focused a lot on self-love this year, with Jupiter entering your sign, and Jupiter will be going retrograde in Gemini from Oct. 9 until Feb. 4, 2025, helping you further strengthen this energy in your life.
This Jupiter retrograde for you is sure to bring changes in your personal life, and you are refocusing your goals and intentions towards a broader, more expansive perspective.
Before fall ends, we have a Full Moon in Gemini, and Gemini Full Moons are always the wildcards of the year, and you are feeling excited about what’s leaving your life and what’s coming in. You are embracing change this fall, and it’s serving you and your love life well.
CANCER
Fall 2024 is a time when you are owning your abundance, Cancer. The next few months will be more career-focused and goal-oriented for you due to Mars in your sign for the first few months. With Mars, the planet of passion and action, in Cancer, you are getting a lot done this fall, and this energy is helping you financially. You are feeling good in health and spirit, and your power of attraction is especially prominent now.
This is the time of the year to invest in yourself and your goals and when you should be focused on moving forward first and foremost. The first half of the fall for you is about taking action, and then once Mars goes retrograde in your financial zone from Nov. 3 until Jan. 6, you will want to slow down on spending, strengthen your talents, and focus on financial stability.
LEO
This fall is an opportunity for you, Leo. You are being approached with many new doors opening, but you may also feel tested to perform, have all the right answers, or trust your intuition more right now as well. The most significant transit for you this fall is Mars entering your sign from Nov. 3 until Jan. 6 and being retrograde here from Dec. 6 until Jan. 6.
When Mars is direct in your sign for those two months, this is a very positive, abundant, and successful time for you and space when you are experiencing some happy and fortunate outcomes in your life. You have renewed spice for life and are meeting things head-on. Once Mars goes retrograde as we end fall, you move into a season of understanding yourself, goals, and intentions better and making sure your actions reflect who you are or who you want to be.
VIRGO
Fall is a time of learning more about yourself and the people in your environment, Virgo. You are focused on overcoming miscommunications and aligning more with how you see yourself or how you want to show up in the world. You are being asked to trust yourself and your intentions more and focus on forgiving those who you feel are committed to misunderstanding you.
With Mars in your 12th house of closure for most of this fall, you are moving through a lot of culminations at this time and are putting some old energy and experiences to rest. The focus right now should be on healing, being creative, not letting anyone disrupt your peace, and choosing to be around more supportive and compassionate people and energy.
LIBRA
You are the star of the show this fall, Libra. With Libra Season being the beginning of fall, this is your time of the year to showcase who you are, shine, and go after your dreams. There are a lot of new opportunities falling into your lap during this time.
With a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra on Oct. 2, you are seeing some significant manifestations come to fruition for you at the beginning of fall and over the next few months.
Your focus right now should be on new beginnings, new energy, and the new doors opening for you. If you could envision everything you are currently hoping for come true for you, what would that feel and look like? This fall for you is all about believing in miracles, Libra.
SCORPIO
You have a good balance and inner harmony with you this fall, Scorpio. With Scorpio Season in the middle of beautiful fall, you flow well with the energy of this time, and there is synergy in what you are letting go of and moving into right now. This is a time of emotional freedom, comfort, and feeling heard, supported, and cherished in your relationships.
With a New Moon Eclipse happening in your 12th house as fall begins, you are entering this time experiencing the blessings that come from letting go of what is no longer serving you. With a New Moon also happening in your sign on Nov. 1, mid-fall is a great time for you to manifest, focus on your personal goals, and make space for your dreams to come true.
SAGITTARIUS
This fall is a new beginning in love for you, Sagittarius. There are opportunities coming in for you to make a fresh start of the heart, and you are feeling optimistic about where life is taking for you right now. However, at the end of the fall, there is a need to readdress some personal issues or challenges you may have been facing when it comes to expressing yourself and getting your message across, with Mercury going retrograde in your sign from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15.
You are going to be moving through a lot of changes in communication and who you are connecting with, but with a New Moon in your sign before fall ends on Dec. 1, you are feeling more than capable to address challenges head-on and create positive change in your life.
CAPRICORN
Fall is about giving yourself a break from trying to force outcomes and noticing how many good things fall into your lap when you just allow them to. Many dreams and opportunities are coming to fruition for you over the next few months, and this is an emotionally fulfilling season of the year for you.
With Pluto going direct in your sign on Oct. 11 after being in retrograde since early May, you get to enter the season with a huge weight off your shoulders and your heart. You are feeling empowered by the changes you have been through over the past six months and are feeling a liberation to create, be, and experience all this life has to offer you. Some pleasant surprises are in store for you this fall, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
This fall is about opening your heart, Aquarius. Opportunities for new developments and strengthening bonds in love are possible for you now, and you are being admired for who you are and how you love. Pluto goes direct at the beginning of fall and enters your sign on Nov. 19 until 2043.
This is a very significant transition to have in your lifetime, and you are moving into a journey of redefining yourself, your goals, your image, and your personality.
You are shining in what is authentic for you, and you have a lot of opportunities to attract success to you with this energy. Before fall ends, Venus enters your sign from Dec. 7 until Jan. 2, and you are ending the year with love blessing you in a new way.
PISCES
Opportunities, success, and romance are flowing through your world this fall, Pisces. This fall is a full-circle experience for you, and many things you were hoping for in love are coming true for you during this time. With Saturn going direct in Pisces on Nov. 15 after being Retrograde here since late June, you finally get a chance to use what you have learned about yourself and your relationships these past few months.
You are giving and receiving love freely, and this is an emotionally successful time for you. Neptune will also go direct in Pisces on Dec. 7 after being Retrograde here since early July, and there is overall less pressure in your life and more love this fall.
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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