

Feminine Energy: What You Need To Know & How To Own It
When I think of femininity, I think of all the things my mother raised me to be as a young girl, a young woman, and now as a whole grown woman . Clean. Elegant and eloquent. Respectful, disciplined , and tactful. Poised, proper, and presentable. As I am writing this, it reminds me of Daphne Bridgerton in the Netflix series Bridgerton . While I am still all of the things I mentioned, I am naturally casual, organized, independent, strong, focused, righteous, adventurous, analytical, and linear. And because of all of these things, I am accomplished. I have to be these things – this is how I succeed in a gender-biased society. But because of all these things, I am masculine . Sometimes, I even curse like a sailor and walk out of the house looking like a hot mess too.
And – nothing about that is feminine . At least not in the traditional sense of the word.
When it comes to tapping into your divine feminine , there are levels to this shit. I never knew I leaned masculine , let alone what masculine or feminine energy truly was until I started my own spiritual journey . But in this moment, I am not here to share that story with you. I am here to tell you becoming more feminine is a level of consciousness, self-care , and inner work that you must be open to doing. It's layers of learning, unlearning, and shedding.
Question – Unlearn what though? Answer – thoughts, patterns, behaviors, and more.
So, sit with me as I break this down for you.
What Does It Mean to Be More Feminine?
We're told being feminine is in a woman's presentation. It is how we appeal to society physically and how we present ourselves. It's about our hair, skin, and the shape of our bodies. It involves our choices in make-up, clothing styles, and color choices. Let's stop right here – this idea of femininity is all surface level and a societal standard told to us by men. I'm starting to sound a little feminist, but I don't mean to be and that's beside the point. Feminine energy is more than just physical. We are also told that femininity is behavioral . It is soft, modest, submissive, gentle, nurturing, and warm. Again, a societal standard that still scratches the surface of what it means to be feminine.
This definition of feminine energy is old, historical, traditional, and biased . Divine Feminine Energy is so much more than what we are told.
It is purely magical .
What Is Divine Feminine Energy?
Divine feminine energy has always existed. It is a concept that stems from spirituality. A Bustle article states that consciousness is divided into two sides – masculine and feminine. Both sides are needed to become our highest selves. The Divine Feminine is concerned with a sense of self. It's a powerful energy that is associated with creativity, intuition, community, sensuality, and collaboration.
When you tap into your feminine energy, it helps build stronger relationships with friends, significant others, and colleagues. According to an article from mindbodygreen.com , feminine energy refers to how you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process. Divine feminine energy is not associated with or tied to gender. Both men and women equally possess feminine energy.
Tapping Into Your Divine Feminine Energy
There are several ways to tap into your feminine energy. It involves a level of self-awareness , consistency, and commitment to daily practices. Here are some ways you can tap into your feminine energy below.
Put Some Orange In Your Life
Orange is the color of our sacral chakra . It is located below the navel and centered in the womb. Our sacral chakra carries our feminine energy. It's where our creativity and sexuality live. You can eat foods like oranges, cantaloupes, tangerines, carrots, and sweet potatoes to help keep the sacral chakra balanced.
Co-Create Your Life
Get creative – we are on this earth to live and experience but also to create . Women have been given the gift and power to create human life through our bodies. But why should it stop here? We can create through artistic expression. This means writing, painting, singing, poetry, music, and dance. I have said this before, but I'll say it again – author your own life. Create the life you want to live with all the elements you desire in it.
Feel The Shit Out of Everything
Honor your feelings – but not just the good ones, feel the bad ones too. Cry, scream, yell, or smile. Do all of it. Your feelings are a thousand percent valid. Part of divine feminine energy is allowing yourself to feel every single emotion. And to reflect and understand why these feelings are brought about. Allow yourself to process your feelings and listen to how you feel. Ask yourself what this person, situation, or event is trying to tell you or teach you. Trust your intuition – let your feelings make your decisions rather than your thoughts. Your body will feel the answer before your mind starts to think of an answer.
Indulge In Pleasure
Do more of whatever brings you joy. This could look like enjoying food, wine, candles, or a bubble bath. This can also look like a walk in the park, hiking, rollerblading, or an impromptu beach day. It's your responsibility to be the love and light in your life. It's only when you have found your happiness that you're able to bring happiness into other people's lives. We often mistake pleasure for an event we enjoy with a person or a group of people. Sometimes it is, and other times it doesn't have to be. It's OK to enjoy moments alone . And If you enjoy sex, there is nothing wrong with self-pleasure . By all means, explore your body and give yourself that orgasm. You need it.
Be Open to Receiving
It is true – what we put out into the universe is what we receive. So, be aware of your thoughts, actions, and how you move through life. Being open to receive also means when you ask for something, you will receive an abundance of it. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, favors, or support when it's needed. Equally, there is nothing wrong with receiving compliments either. Embrace the love and light that comes your way, and then return it tenfold. It'll come back to you in ways you didn't imagine before.
Watch Your Divine Feminine Transform Your Life
When you tap into your feminine energy, it enables life transformation. I am a living example, like many other women who have tapped into their feminine energy. It's a type of energy that is restorative, inspirational, and vibrant. It is gentle, warm, and playful.
Connecting with your divine feminine is a powerful journey that will help you discover your superpower, soul's purpose, and become more aligned with who you are. And once you learn these things and start to live in your purpose – consider yourself unstoppable.
You begin to thrive. Your dreams start to manifest . Your life unfolds the way it was meant to. The process of transformation is scary but necessary to shed the old to create the new in our lives.
We all have feminine energy, but we tend to let our masculine energy dominate. And balancing both energies is not easy. You have to constantly check in with yourself. Sometimes you have to put yourself in check too. Feminine energy requires you to build a relationship with yourself. And if you haven't heard this already, your relationship with yourself is the greatest relationship you will ever have.
So, are you ready to tap in?
I invite you to reawaken your divine feminine. I invite you to step into this journey of self-exploration.
I promise you won't regret it.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find , there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecole exclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause , marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression , anxiety , like all of it, mental health challenges , all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry ’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy . If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures , and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood , her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff , which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You , which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Victoria Monét Opens Up About Feeling ‘Validated’ Months After VMAs Turned Her Down To Perform
Victoria Monét has had an incredible year. Thanks to the success of the widely popular “ On My Mama ” that went viral, the singer/ songwriter’s Jaguar II album debuted in the top 10 of Billboard’s Top R&B Albums chart. She also went on to headline her own sold-out tour . So, when the MTV VMAs happened in September, everyone was surprised to learn that Victoria’s team was told that it was “too early” for the “Smoke” artist to perform at the award show. However, a couple of months later, the mom of one received seven Grammy nominations, including “Best R&B Album” and “Record Of The Year.”
Victoria is currently in London and stopped by The Dotty Show on Apple Music and shared how she feels “validated” after being dismissed by the VMAs.
“It really does feel nice and validating because, in my head, the reason why I wanted to be a performer at the VMAs or award ceremonies like that is because I felt like I am at the place where I should. I would work really hard to put on the best show that I could, and I was excited to do so,” she said.
“And I guess the best way to describe it for me is like when you're like on a sports team, and the coach is like, ‘No, you gotta sit this one out.’ When they finally put you in, and then you score all these points, and it feels like that feeling. You're like, yes, I knew it wasn't tripping, but I knew I worked hard for this, and so it's been super validating to just have these accolades come after a moment like that, and I know the fans feel vindicated for me.
While her fans called the VMAs out on their decision, the “Moment” singer kept it cute and is still open to performing at the iconic award show. “I feel no ill towards them because it's just maybe that's just truly how they felt at the time, but I hope their mind has changed,” she admitted.
Aside from recognition from the Grammys, she has also received praise from legendary artists such as Janet Jackson , Kelly Rowland , and Usher .
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Feature image by Amy Sussman/WireImage for Parkwood