Tracee Ellis Ross On The Commandments Every Grown-Ass Woman Should Live By
So far this year, Tracee launched her PATTERN haircare line, has taught us how to take the perfect solo vacay selfie, turn any bad day into a blessing, and helped us get our skincare routine all the way together, but before she became the multifaceted mogul that we see before us today, Tracee had to go through a period of growth.
In a matter of ten years, Tracee says she has become her own #LifeGoals but told Julee Wilson, host of The Color Files podcast, that the height of her career didn't come until her mid-40's. Recently, the 46-year-old actress opened up about the secret to success, and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't linear.
Before we met Rainbow Barris on the small screen in 2014, there was Joan Carol Clayton, star of one of the highest rated shows among young Black people in the history of television. Despite Girlfriends' wildly successful six-season run, at the time, mainstream television failed to put respect on Tracee's name that it deserved. She explained:
"My career was not handed to me. When I was on 'Girlfriends', I couldn't even get on a late-night show. No joke. I was never on Jay Leno, David Letterman, any of those shows. And I remember the talent agent at one of those late-night talk shows said, 'Call us when Tracee gets something. She's amazing. We love her. Call us when she gets something.'"
Trying to live out your dream when you're the only one who can see the vision can be hard, and Tracee learned this firsthand. The Black-ish star said that while at the beginning of her career, invites to award shows like the Emmys and the Golden Globes were slim to none, over time, her vision became a reality:
"I'd never gone to any of those award shows. All of that has happened since I got on 'Black-ish' in my mid-40s. None of that was a part of my experience in the early part of my career."
Although Girlfriends may not have gotten the widespread acclaim that she anticipated, she later learned that her experience was only paving the foundation for her future. She continued:
"What it did is it It forced my soul to continue to search for what it longed for, dreamt of, wanted to be. It allowed me to continue to create an unbreakable, unshakeable foundation for my life, a relationship with myself that was based not on what everybody outside is saying, but was about what I believed was good and right."
While evolving into this higher version of herself was uncomfortable at times, growth doesn't really happen in your comfort zone, does it? Tracee said that becoming aware of this fact ultimately helped her evolve into the grown-ass woman of her dreams:
"It allowed me to continue to grow as a person and realize what it is that I wanted from my life, what it is that I wanted to share, what I had to offer, that I was enough, that I really felt that I was deserving and worthy of many of these things in my career but I might never get the opportunity to do them or to have them. I could own my success, but I could also own what might look like failure. I could just be with me. I could literally be my own best friend and mirror and my worth is not tangled up in what even I think I should be getting."
There's a difference between thinking you grown and actually being a grown-ass woman, and Tracee leads by example. Along with celebrating your successes and accepting your failures, true growth involves staying hydrated, loving freely, and accepting nothing less than spectacular sex.
Scroll below for a full list of grown-ass woman commandments as told by Tracee:
1."Giggle as much as possible."
2."Get your sleep."
"People say sleep when you're dead; I don't agree. Sleep when you're tired. That's what you do if you can."
3."Drink so much water."
4."Have as much sex as possible."
"Sorry, Mom, but it's true! Brings out the best in your skin."
Tracee also edited her caption to clarify what kind of sex you should be having as much as possible. She added, "Consensual, connected, yummy, good & safe sex. Not just any sex."
5."Love with a full and open heart."
"You'll stay young forever, I swear."
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
Originally published October 3, 2019
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images