I don't know about y'all, but I'm just about ready for this Hot Girl Summer to finally evolve into the Fat Girl Fall that I've been waiting on all damn year. I said what I said.
I'm ready to retire my bad chick bike shorts and slip my ass into some leisure leggings, and I know I'm not the only one. There are only a few more days until it's officially fall, and I've got my watch list ready, sis. Although I'm literally crying at the fact that Shonda Rhimes took away Olivia Pope, and now, we'll be forced to say goodbye to Annalise Keating forever, there are so many new Black AF TV shows premiering this fall, I can't stay mad long.
Here's every new and returning show we're tuning into this fall:
Wu-Tang: An American Saga (Sept. 4)
Hulu
Before cash ruled everything around them, the members of the Wu-Tang Clan were just a group of kids from New York who were trying to survive the crack-cocaine epidemic. Starring Shameik Moore, Erika Alexander, and Joey Bada$$, this limited series is streaming on Hulu right now.
Top Boy (Sept. 13)
Netflix
When this British show was canceled after two seasons and put on Netflix, it caught the attention of one of the biggest musicians in the world. After learning of the show's cancellation, Drake did what any billion-dollar binge-watcher would and made a deal to help fund the show's third season, which is currently streaming on Netflix.
American Horror Story: 1984 (Sept. 18)
FX
Although the show is missing Angela Bassett, Evan Peters, Jessica Lange, and Kathy Bates this season, AHS: 1984 promises to be just as disturbing as its predecessors. Heavily influenced by horror films, Friday: The 13th and Halloween, the ninth season of AHS will make you eternally grateful to your parents for never sending you to summer camp as a kid.
Bigger (Sept. 19)
BET
Produced by industry giant, Will Packer, Bigger is set in Little Five Points and tells the story of an East Atlanta woman who, after the death of a close friend from college, decides to get the most out of her life.
First Wives Club (Sept. 19)
BET
Based on the 1996 cult classic starring Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler, First Wives Club is being rebooted and made into a series. Jill Scott, Ryan Michelle Bathe, and Michelle Buteau will star in the show as ex-wives who are seeking revenge after their marriages to sh*tty men have inevitably fallen apart.
9-1-1 (Sept. 23)
Developed by the creator of American Horror Story, 9-1-1 returns to TV for a third season on Sept. 23 and Angela Bassett's arms don't owe us anything. Chronicling the high-intensity situations that first responders experience every day, the show also stars Aisha Hinds, Connie Britton, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Mixed-ish (Sept. 24)
ABC
Giving us the prequel we didn't know we needed, Mixed-ish is an ABC sitcom spinoff that tells the story of a young Rainbow Barris and her family as they navigate life after moving from a hippie commune to the suburbs.
This Is Us (Sept. 24)
Last season was a rough one, and although we weren't sure if Beth and Randall would weather their storm, our favorite TV couple is back for another season that showrunners claim will be a "fresh start for everyone". Along with meeting Rebecca's dad, the audience will also get to see a pre-school version of the big three that is guaranteed to make your heart melt.
Black-ish (Sept. 24)
ABC
With Pop's new fiancee (played by Emmy-award winning actress Loretta Devine), a much-needed Girlfriends reunion, and just as much black love as ever before, Black-ish is returning to TV for a sixth season, and we are here for all of it.
How to Get Away with Murder (Sept. 26)
ABC
This fall, How to Get Away with Murder will return for a sixth and final season and my heart cannot bear the pain. Shonda Rhimes and the HTGAWM squad have given us almost a decade's worth of sex, lies, and betrayal, and this year, the Keating 5's story will come to an end with an explosive final season where all of our questions will finally be answered.
God Friended Me (Sept. 26)
CBS
I'm not sure what I'd do if God sent me a friend request, but I know the first thing I'd have to do is remove my booty short pics from the '99s to the 2000s. In a show about the importance of spiritual connection in a digital world, we see a group of friends prove that God acts in mysterious ways and makes you wonder if your blessing could be waiting in your inbox.
Evil (Sept. 26)
CBS
When a criminal psychologist and a 6-pack having, Bible-toting priest-in-training link up to investigate the extraordinary phenomenon that has occurred in unexplained mysteries, all hell breaks loose (and I mean that literally). Developed by the creators of The Good Wife, this psychological drama stars Mike Colter and premieres on CBS for its first season on Sept. 26.
The Good Place (Sept. 26)
NBC
Back for a fourth and final season, the show about heaven, hell, and the importance of The Golden Rule is coming to an end and we'll finally learn if our favorite inhabitants of the afterlife finally make it to "The Good Place".
The Godfather of Harlem (Sept. 29)
Epix
Am I the only person who just realized Forest Whitaker and Kenn Whitaker are two different people? Mind. Blown. The Godfather of Harlem is a true story about the life of Harlem crime-boss named (played by Forest) turned hood philanthropist named Bumpy Johnson who worked closely with Malcom X in the '60s.
Raising Dion (Oct. 4)
Netflix
When Nicole Reese (played by Alisha Wainright) loses her husband (played by Michael B. Jordan) and is left to raise her young son Dion on her own, things only get more complicated when she learns that he has superpowers. The Netflix series follows Nicole and her son as they attempt to navigate his newfound abilities and understand their origin.
Black Lightning (Oct. 7)
The CW
When the daughters of a superhero-turned-high school principal are kidnapped, he reverts to his life as a vigilante and learns that his superhuman genetics run in the family. Back for a third season, the DC-comic show promises to dig deeper into the psyche of Black Lightning's arch-nemesis, Tobias.
Rhythm + Flow (Oct. 9)
Netflix
In the first-ever major hip-hop competition on Netflix, Cardi B, Chance The Rapper, and T.I. travel to some of the country's top cities to find the industry's next break-out artist.
Watchmen (Oct. 20)
In this comic book-inspired HBO series where superheroes are treated as outlaws, Regina King holds nothing back in opening up a good old fashioned can of whoop-ass on criminals and wrongdoers alike.
Featured image by NBC.
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Now masterdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masterdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masterdating All About?
Getty Images
Masterdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masterdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masterdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masterdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masterdating
Getty Images
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masterdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masterdating
Getty Images
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masterdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masterdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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Featured image by FOTOGRAFIA, INC./Getty Images
