

Drake's "8AM In Charlotte," Tyla's "Water" & Other Singles To Have In Rotation Now
This week's new music list has something for everyone, which is fantastic given that many of us are beginning this cuffing season in very different places. Whether you're still reveling in the freedom that came with your summer flings ("Yea Yea" and "Water"), looking for something more serious and long-lasting ("You're Hired," "Link Up," and "Give It To Me"), or simply basking in your best life ("Champagne Shit [Remix]" and "8AM in Charlotte," here are the week's top new tracks.
"Yea Yea" - Lady London with Dreezy
The most recent song "Yea Yea" by Lady London and Dreezy continues the 2023 theme of paying tribute to the music videos from the late 1990s and early 2000s. The music video for "Yea Yea" takes cues from Destiny Child's "Bills" and "Soldier," replicating its salon setting and brilliant colors in one scene and beautifully black and white cinematography in the other. The usage of the video as inspiration is amusing since it makes us think of the trio we sorely miss.
However, when we learn that in both songs, the girls are demanding a man—or soldier—deserving of their love and affection, the decision to employ this background becomes intriguing, especially when it becomes clear that this time around, the rapping duo wants something completely different.
The two rappers nonchalantly discuss their significance in their respective men's lives and how confident they are in their appearance and sexuality to make anybody who glances their way weak in the knees. They state that although they are aware that they are a popular item, they have no desire to become someone's one and only.
By the song's conclusion, the two rappers are playing off one another's flows and making it apparent that they have no intention of finding love this cuffing season.
"Water" - Tyla
The "Water" dance challenge is the most recent trend to take over TikTok. You have undoubtedly heard this song while getting enticed to see a series of dance routines that have several people moving their hips and crooning to the tune of "Make me sweat, make me hotter, make me lose my breath, make me water." The South African musician Tyla's song "Water" was released near the conclusion of the summer. It soon gained popularity as listeners became enthralled by Tyla's harmonies and demanded to blow her mind and seek her soul.
The melodious tune blends pop, R&B, Afrobeats, and amapiano to produce a catchy chorus and seductive lines. Although the single was released in the summer, with the help of its new music video that was released Friday, "Water" has now given itself the opportunity to go beyond the social media platform and have a chance to reach the charts as it should.
"Give It To Me" - Miguel
The title track from Miguel's latest album, Viscera, "Give It To Me," talks about chemistry and how it tends to draw people closer together. The song "Give It To Me" demonstrates Miguel's creativity on a whole new level.
As fans, perhaps we've grown so accustomed to Miguel's creativity that we've stopped recognizing how well he creates a distinctive yet recognizable sound with each album. The song, which combines R&B with industrial sounds, has a mellow, seductive atmosphere throughout the majority of the song before switching to a more organic and sensual approach in the closing seconds.
Similar to the audio, the graphics are minimal and largely consist of neon-lit views of Miguel and his leading woman flashing their bodies and cuddling while the camera rotates around them. Nevertheless, Miguel uses an electric guitar and breathless declarations to create a soulful and passionate tune over a simple rhythm and engaging beat.
"Link Up" - Ne-Yo
I'm not sure whether this video fits the season, but as SZA and Jean Dawson pointed out a few weeks ago, California doesn't really have seasons, so it could still be applicable today. But even if the video isn't, the song most definitely is. "Link Up" by Ne-Yo offers the suggestion of transforming another's life if given the opportunity to "link up," and was probably written to be a cuffing season anthem, or at least a very trustworthy second best. In this single, Ne-Yo offers love, luxury, attentiveness, change, and other limitless possibilities, in contrast to the other suitors.
As would be anticipated from the R&B singer and notorious lyricist, the song is straightforward and infectious, while the music video is entertaining and, at times, endearing. The only criticism I would have for the song is that it did not come out sooner. As it would have paired nicely with Usher's summer release of "Good Good," or Tinashe's "Uh Huh." Regardless, the song is definitely worth the listen and might even encourage a shimmying of the shoulder or two.
"You're Hired" - NEIKED ft. Ayra Starr
There are certain tunes that simply enchant you without fail. NEIKED's song "You're Hired" feat. Ayra Starr is among such tunes. Ayra Starr, who is content being alone and isn't looking for a relationship, becomes captivated by a possible suitor and promises to make him her lover in exchange for his willingness to fulfill her wants. She begins to entertain the notion of dating him after seeing that she behaves differently around him, in the greatest manner possible, and she openly offers to share the love she has been nurturing for him. It's a sweet tune that puts a grin on your face in a manner that only a new love could.
Regardless of whether he accepts her offer to play the part, it is great to hear a song that sings about love without making it seem like it must happen or one of them will be unable to move on. The song brilliantly depicts the sensation of having a crush and wanting to spend every waking moment with your newfound favorite person.
"Me & U" - Tems
Her first solo single since 2021, the Nigerian singer Tems has returned with a forceful comeback in the style of her most recent track, "Me & U." Originally made with a Drake feature, the single demonstrates Tems' amazing capacity to shine on her own when she places faith, instead of love, front and center.
With the removal of the rapper, Tems is able to explore themes of self-discovery in this lyrical song, creating a sincere connection to God as she learns who she really is, forges sincere connections, and develops a true understanding of herself. The song's simplicity and freedom as Tems discovers herself and learns to love herself makes it wonderful and liberating to listen to.
"Me & U" has the appearance of being a very straightforward love song as Tems sings of companionship and complete surrender as she croons over a softly strumming electric guitar. However, it's not really a love song in the conventional sense; instead, the song focuses on the relationship between the divine and the individual. Directed by the singer, it is amazing to watch Tems in her white gown perform her exquisite dance in the heart of a lush forest and against the azure waves of the sea.
With poignant narration with her distinctive, enticing musical style, "Me & U" shows audiences why Tem's two-year independent single hiatus was well worth the wait.
"Another Love Song" - Toosii
The only thing that makes Toosii's "Another Love Song" a love song is its name. As soon as the song starts, Toosii declares to the listeners that he is sick of the clichéd love song trope. This is primarily due to the fact that he is aware that, regardless of what he composes and sings, there is a good possibility he will be the object of someone else's incapacity to love. But it doesn't stop him from making an attempt at a love song.
He still holds out hope that love will find a way to be on his side despite everything. He occasionally cries out for the love of his life to come back and treat him well. Sometimes, though, his knowledge of himself overcomes him, and he is unable to win back his love before revealing the reasons he shouldn't have even given her a chance.
However, as in any relationship, two people are found to be at fault, and he recognizes that his constant faults are mostly to blame for the reasons he may be pleading. He's sick of love songs, but perhaps he is tired in the sense that he keeps attempting to write them as a sort of repentance. While this is going on, his love gets weary of his endless sorrowful ballads when he has the power to choose to love her rightly from the beginning.
"Champagne Shit" - Janelle Monáe ft. Latto and Quavo [Remix]
With this remix, these n****s about to make a whole lot of money.
The churchy organ chords of "Champagne Shit" provide a rallying cry that is difficult to ignore as Janelle Monáe rides a wave of intoxicated ecstasy with guests Latto and Quavo. As they sing an homage to the good life and the leisure its abundance brings, the group is in a relaxed state of mind. Monáe's comments about flinging "tips" and "hips" set the jovial tone, and Quavo amps it up with comments about having "ice" on his collar and "champagne" on his wrist, as well as countless models holding bottles. Complimentary to the others, Latto, who is having the best year of her career, laments a passionate verse about the need to be treated like royalty and her desire to reward the people she loves as well.
With the inclusion of the two rappers, Quavo delivers the ad-libs that make every Migos song so pleasant to sing, while Latto produces a swag that makes it difficult to resist moving one's hips or skipping as instructed by Monáe. Despite the fact that this partnership is not novel, and most likely won't turn too many heads, its remix possesses the jovial effect of friends who have finally succeeded in their endeavors, which will have the song playing on almost everyone's playlist.
"Homicide" - 6LACK and Jessie Reyez
My entire face breaks out in an unrelenting smile when I see the names 6LACK and Jessie Reyez listed next to one another. The duo reunites for their third collaboration, "Homicide," following years of friendship and mutual respect for each other's artistic abilities. They first collaborated in 2019 on the notoriously crooned "Imported," where the two sang about happily being someone's second choice. Now, the two musicians' long-standing friendship is evident in the exquisite mixing of their equally alluring vocals for "Homicide."
In this song, which depicts a sad waltz between two lovers, the two musicians vividly capture the subtleties of intense love and infatuation. While being propelled by this guitar-driven rhythm that surprisingly integrates trap beats and heavy bass, 6LACK and Jessie Reyez explore the concept of toxic relationships where partners cheat for sport. Meanwhile, exes are forced to see intimate meetings through windows.
While the 6LACK shines with his signature gloomy sound, Reyes' strong and rebellious vocals much outweigh those of her partner as she demonstrates her willingness to join a harmful relationship for its amusement and unpredictability.
"8AM In Charlotte" - Drake
Dressed in colorful hair clips, big leather leggings, and a "Hate Survivor" hoodie, Drake explains the origins of the album cover's artwork at the start of the video. In a lengthy explanation provided by his son Adonis, Drake tells the listeners that the album cover shows how important he feels he has been to the hip-hop genre during the previous 15 years of "dominance." Following the release of "Slime You Out" in September 2023, "8AM in Charlotte" is the second single from Drake's eighth studio album For All The Dogs.
In this song, Drake considers the burden on his "moral scale" as he gets ready to go on tour and encourages up-and-coming musicians to save a portion of their earnings as Andre 3000 did in "Hollywood Divorce." Drake's video is straightforward and narrated with a shaky cam as he contemplates how long he is prepared to harbor resentment against doubters and those who continue to attempt to thwart his unstoppable success.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image via Drake/YouTube
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
A dead bedroom can kill any relationship. In all long-term, committed relationships, couples experience various phases, from the initial passion to a more complex and enduring connection. Yet, as time passes, sex may decrease, which introduces an issue often referred to as "bed death."
According to Advance Psychology Partners, 'bed death' occurs when individuals in a committed relationship experience a decline in the frequency of sexual activity and fall short of the desires of both or either partner. It is sometimes labeled a "sexless relationship" due to the infrequency of sex. In the U.S., an estimated 20 million people find themselves in such relationships.
This shift is a significant change for couples. Let’s face it: no one wants to be in a sexless marriage or relationship. But how can couples effectively confront the impact of fading physical intimacy on the overall health of their enduring partnership?
"I have found that many factors influence one's desire to dive, and it is often not a majority of just one thing. Most people assume that if they don't desire [sex], they are no longer physically attracted, but in my experience, that has little to do with it most of the time," explained Brittanni Young, LMFT, CST.
"Some of the heavy contributors that I see most often include excessive goal orientation towards orgasm, people not prioritizing their own sexuality, and the landfill of ‘should’s’ that develop from toxic sexual scripts created long ago in upbringing," she added.
Furthermore, these issues are not exclusive to any particular orientation, but it does manifest differently.
Young is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sexologist, and board-certified sex therapist who practices in Georgia and Florida. She has worked in the sexology field for over a decade. Young helps couples and individuals looking to get through challenges of all facets facing sexuality and intimacy, such as desire mismatch, over-compulsion, and dysfunctions. She recently launched a deck of intimacy connection cards called "Show Me Your Cards." Young is working on another product that helps teach children to consent and negotiate appropriate touch. She sat down with xoNecole to discuss what causes the decline in the bedroom, the myth of 'lesbian bed death,' and recommendations on overcoming "bed death."
The Decline In Intimacy
Intimacy often dwindles within relationships, a phenomenon triggered by various factors such as stress, the insidious monotony of routine, and the toxicity of unresolved conflicts, to name a few. While couples manage daily life, exchanging intimate desires and concerns may take a backseat. Sadly, this gradually erodes the closeness once shared in the relationship.
"Typically, the first thing I do when working with a couple on desire challenges is rule out medical causes by referring them to their primary care physician or other provider they are working with," Young shared. "There are times when unmanaged or mismanaged conditions factor into low desire levels. Also, many medications can wreak havoc on keeping desire levels up, such as antidepressants, SSRIs, anti-anxiety, and blood pressure medications, to name a few."
Jeff Bergen/ Getty Images
"Next, I look at the state of the relationship. If there is dissatisfaction in the relationship, then it definitely affects how close and intimate one wants to be to another. There are also plenty of individual factors one can bring into the equation, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, feelings of shame or guilt around one's own sexuality, and external life stressors that can get in the way. I find that life stressors can be a big one for folks, as once you get in the habit of not prioritizing sex, it tends to stick," she added.
Fortunately, there are ways to prevent "bed death." It can involve prioritizing your wants and open communication about sexual needs.
"What tends to be effective for all couples is taking an inventory of how satisfied they are with their sexual behaviors and engagement. Being truthful in this vein can be the start of unlocking inhibitions that can keep you from seeking out and being genuinely vulnerable in intimate spaces," Young explained. "Next, I suggest opening up lines of communication around these truths. When people assume that nothing can be done, hope is lost."
The Myth Of 'Lesbian Bed Death'
The notion of "lesbian bed death" perpetuates a simplistic and inaccurate stereotype about the sexual dynamics within lesbian relationships. Contrary to the myth, the experience of a decline in intimacy is not universal among lesbian couples. The diverse spectrum of relationships among women challenges this oversimplified narrative, emphasizing that the complexities of sexual dynamics extend beyond stereotypical assumptions.
"The notion of 'lesbian bed death' is based on a research study done by Pepper Schwartz in 1983 that found that lesbian couplings fell behind in sexual frequency compared to heterosexual and gay male couplings," Young revealed.
"Several other studies [after] have replicated these findings but give very little information about sexual satisfaction. Despite there being more research needed overall in the sexuality field, more recent research did find that when it comes to the length of sexual encounters, lesbian couples had the longest duration of encounters. To that end, sexual quality over quantity is a better marker of satisfaction, and that is what I pay most attention to in my work. With that said, dissatisfaction can happen in all couplings over time," the sexologist continued.
Factors influencing reduced intimacy among lesbian couples may include communication challenges, societal pressures, and individual variations in libido. Menstruation can also play a role, with some couples navigating discomfort or hormonal changes during this period.
"There are certainly some nuances that come into play with lesbian couples that differ from heterosexual or other-oriented couples. As I stated earlier, physiological factors can factor into the rise and fall of libido. The hormone fluctuations that come from menstruation and menopause can impact desire levels, and it is double present in lesbian couples. Another nuance is the lack of a sexual script from society on lesbian sexual behavior. There are patriarchal roots to sexual research, which have created our societal norms that tend to leave out anyone who isn't heterosexual," Young stated.
Overcoming The Challenges
Westend61/ Getty Images
While 'bed death' challenges couples, solutions are within reach. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes, couples can rekindle the flame of intimacy and ensure a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
"In the words of Esther Perel, another sexual professional in the field, 'love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.' I recommend keeping it in the front of your mind, prioritizing, and keeping it interesting. Be open to learning more about your own sexuality every day, as well as your partner. You are always growing; what worked for you 20 years ago may not be the same today. Stay curious with one another and be open to exploring new ways to pleasure. You deserve it," Young said.
For instance, Young advised that couples should "keep sexual encounters light and playful." And not be afraid to introduce new elements, such as toys.
"Touch often in ways that are consensual and feel safe! I made 'Show Me Your Cards' to serve this purpose specifically. Just because you do not feel in the mood to go all the way does not mean you aren't in the mood to hold hands, exchange body massages, or dance together. Connecting often in any physical form, as long as it feels pleasurable, still counts as 'being in the mood,'" she said.
Overcoming the hurdles of "bed death" and debunking myths surrounding 'lesbian bed death' offers a unique perspective for couples grappling with the difficulties of sustaining a connection. Learning the proper ways to work through a sexless relationship can help foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Vladimir Vladimirov/ Getty Images