Geoffrey Owens was thrust back into the national spotlight recently, and not because he played the beloved "Elvin" on The Cosby Show. Owens became yet another victim of the internet when a woman snapped a picture of him working as a member of a local Trader Joe's in New Jersey. And because the internet can be an unforgiving place, the photo went viral with memes, taunts, and insinuations of a "fall from grace" soon to follow.
Despite it all, Owens took the high road when he addressed the situation with various news outlets, including sitting down with Robin Roberts for Good Morning America shortly after to barrage of negativity. And what he had to say about work is something that should resonate with everyone, whether you have a 9-to-5, work multiple side hustles, or are unemployed and looking for a ray of hope. He told Robin Roberts about the value of work and said:
"There is no job that is better than another job. It might pay better, it might have better benefits, it might look better on a résumé and on paper. But, actually, it's not better. Every job is worthwhile and valuable….I've had a great life, I've had a great career. I've had a career that most actors would die for. No one has to feel sorry for me. I'm doing fine."
The fact that this turned into a "thing" is quite ridiculous, at best. Most working actors are not Denzel Washington or Viola Davis. They find themselves having to take day jobs or incorporate side hustles into their acting schedules in order to make ends meet. There should be no shame for doing what you need to do in order to pay the bills—legally, of course. There also shouldn't be any stigma when it comes to humbling yourself in order to do so.
We should all take pride in an honest day's work, regardless of the job title.
Related: When Did 9 to 5 Job Shaming Become A Thing?
Owens' public shaming was short lived, however. Countless fellow actors, Hollywood and music stars, and even regular folks jumped in to applaud Owens for his willingness to do what it takes to live his best life. Tyler Perry offered him a job, Nicki Minaj wants to donate $25,000, and the country began a new dialogue around what it mean to do an honest day's work. And in the wake of this important conversation, another person who also fell victim to job shaming spoke out about her experiences as well, despite having two Grammy awards under her belt.
As one of the original members of Destiny's Child, LaTavia Roberson has first-hand experience of what it's like to rise to fame and then humble yourself just to pay the bills. While Roberson was eventually "removed" from the group in 2000 with much controversy and lawsuits to follow, that didn't remove her from her financial responsibilities.
Roberson revealed on Twitter that soon afterwards, she found herself having to take a job a record shop in her hometown right outside of Houston. She says that people would come in to the store just to see if was really her, which had to be the ultimate form of job shaming.
She hasn't let this curtail her creative endeavors, however. Roberson has appeared in a number of stage plays since 2008 and even starred in the third season of R&B Divas: Atlanta on TV One. Everyone has a different path in life, and for Roberson, she wouldn't take anything away from the ups and downs she's experienced along the way. Hindsight is indeed 20/20, and Roberson believes that she went through everything for a reason. In 2014, she said:
"Maybe when I was younger I may have thought 'Oh my gosh, could I have changed anything?' But now that I'm older and now that I have my daughter, I think back and I say, no matter how hard things have been for me over the past 10 years and me coming out and me feeling like I have victory, I think that I was supposed to go through those things for a reason...As hard as it was, I have to say I wouldn't change anything."
So many of us are out here hustling so that we can transform our "surviving" into "thriving."
Madame Noire
Social media tends to glorify this lifestyle of easy money and quick success. Much of the time, what we are really seeing is the fruits of an arduous road to success. Our nation is filled people willing to sacrifice their pride and take jobs they might not want to take just to keep the lights on, and they should be applauded, too. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do until we can do what we want to do, and I am no exception.
One time for all the hard workers who have figured out how to provide for themselves and their families without the help of a corporate job, a trust fund, or a quick come up. Just good ole hard work. That's a real boss move.
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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Featured image by Getty Images