

Guess What? Dating Was Never Supposed To Be Transactional.
Gender wars. If there’s one thing that social media — hell, the internet, period — is gonna have ready and waiting for you on a daily (oftentimes hourly) basis, it’s some freakin’ gender wars. And if there’s one topic, specifically, that I try not to let trigger me, yet many times it does just that, it’s the topic of dating.
Between men either implying or flat-out saying that after paying a certain amount of money on a date (or flying someone out), sex should be expected and women and their long (and oftentimes super annoying) TikToks about how a man should damn near break the bank on the first date and/or pay for whomever they choose to bring along (which is mad rude, by the way) — the transactional approach to something that once was way more intentional, pure and holistically beneficial has really got out of hand.
And although I can’t stop an avalanche once it’s begun (no one can), it is my hope that this piece will restore some integrity back to what was designed to bring genuine connections together — not make booty calls easier or Instagram posts imitate dates from The Bachelor/The Bachelorette franchise (or whatever not-so-reality-based show that’s on these days). By the way, 21 years into both of those shows, although there have been 34 proposals, only six couples are still married. That’s not a success story; that is utterly ridiculous.
So, let’s tackle dating in a way that can actually bring some sanity, practicality, and, shoot, dare I say, virtue back into it by restoring a bit of order when it comes to what dating should actually be about.
When You Don’t Know the Purpose of Something, You Will Misuse It
@sdrelationshiptalk Tag someone who could use these questions ❤️ #relationships #datingtips #marriageadvice #dayingadvice #blacklove
I’m pretty sure that it comes as no shocker that I am a huge fan of healthy relationships. I am also a big-time investor in Black love and an advocate for Black men. So much, in fact, that I have been known to say, pretty consistently, in fact, that I have been customized for a Black man. No one else is an option. Hey, that’s just me.
And because I do spend so much time writing about relationships, working with couples, and hopefully helping people to see themselves in a light that will cause the light in others to reflect the best back to them (in their relationships), I constantly encourage others to move in purpose when it comes to dating.
The definitions of purpose include “the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.” and “an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.” So yes, when it comes to dating before anyone shares their time, energy, feelings, resources, body parts, or anything else, it’s imperative — crucial even — that they spend some serious, sobering, and significant time figuring out the reason behind why they want and then choose to date, along with what they ultimately desire to get out of doing so.
And that’s why I thought it would be a good idea to lead this all off with the TikTok post above. Because sis definitely dates with a clear purpose (the first date?! Wasted no time!). Do I think that a first date has to be this…heavy? No. Oftentimes, a first date is about seeing if there is any chemistry that could possibly evolve into a connection — and that’s why I’m all about short ones like coffee dates, drinks, and/or appetizers; it’s not about a man “getting off cheap,” it’s about both of you trying to figure out if something is there. If there is, there will be a second date. If not, no harm, no foul on either side.
Anyway, when it comes to this particular couple’s journey (she used the word “fiancé” so clearly her approach paid off for her), again, even though a first date can certainly go much lighter than this, I do salute the fact that she provided a stellar example of what it means to know what your purpose is for dating so that you know how to move — and what to expect based on your personal standards and even convictions — while you’re dating. Good stuff.
So, how did dating become what, in my opinion, is the colossal-ishshow that it currently is? It’s because, as I oftentimes say, when you don’t know the purpose of something (or someone), you will be almost guaranteed to abuse (abnormally use) or misuse it — and if you ask a lot of folks who yap about their dating expectations to explain their purpose for dating in the first place…many of them will have absolutely no clue. And that’s truly sad. In many ways, it’s counterproductive as well.
Dating. Revisited.
It’s kind of another message for another time yet, just like it irks me to hear single guys say that they expect single women to submit to them (even the Bible says that submission is for marriage, and yes, we’ll have to tackle that topic on another day; I do wish more people understood its purpose better, though — Ephesians 5:21-33[AMPC], I Peter 3:1-7[AMPC], Colossians 3:18-20). What I think they actually mean is they like the femininity of a woman to show up during the dating process. Anyway, along these same lines, I don’t like how dating and courting overlap, either.
Let’s deal with dating first.
If you were to talk to, probably your great-grandparents at this point about the topic of dating, they would probably say that there is no need to go out on a lot of dates with someone unless you see some real potential there. As antiquated as that might sound, it’s a mindset that can also keep you from wasting time, it can potentially spare you from investing in something that isn’t really going anywhere, and it can prevent you from moving too quickly (on the emotional and physical tip — check out “Ever Wonder If You're Moving Too Fast In A Relationship?”).
Because, if you’re dating with a clear purpose and say that it’s so you can transition into courting, then engagement, and then marriage — why date for years on end? Yeah, dating is like the “first base” of getting to know someone.
Now am I saying that only people who want to get married should date? Contrary to what a lot of church culture thinks, no. Personally, I get that not everyone desires marriage (check out “Single-Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON’T Desire Marriage?” and “12 Couples Reveal Why They're Happy With A Long-Term Commitment Instead Of Marriage”) — and they shouldn’t be forfeited romantic companionship because of it. In fact, I respect people who value marriage so much that they know, ahead of time, that they don’t want to play with it; not enough people see it from that relational lens.
However, even if marriage isn’t on your menu, you still need to have a purpose for dating, and you still need to be intentional about seeing if the individual who is sitting across from you is on the same page as you are — whatever that page may be. And so, it’s a good idea to not be so transactional in your mindset that you cheapen the entire experience.
How? Probably one of the easiest ways to describe a transactional kind of relationship is it’s something that you see as not much more than a lop-sided business dynamic. All you care about is how you can benefit and what your demands are. There is very little compromise or mutuality — and that makes it hard for anything with a healthy emotional foundation to evolve.
And honestly, that’s why a lot of guys tend to sound so cold and flippant when they talk about dismissing a woman who won’t give them any after a date (or trip), or a lot of women sound so rude and inconsiderate while “grading” their dates or who they are dating — things have become so transactional that there is no real connection beyond “what can I get out of this as quickly as possible?” — and that hinders a fulfilling dating experience and almost always sabotages the possibility for courtship.
Courting. Revisited.
As I’ve already stated, Black men are always gonna be my preference. That doesn’t mean I don’t know fine when it comes to other ethnicities when I see it, though, and looka here — some of y’all will probably have no clue who I’m talking about, but Michael Landon, the man who played Charles Ingalls on the Little House on the Prairie, was fine and then some mo’ fine.
Anyway, there are many things that I still appreciate about that show. One of them is how they modeled courtship back in the late 1800s. When a young man was interested in a young woman, he would go to her parents (specifically her father) with his plan for how long it would take him to build a home and provide for her so that he could propose marriage and, after the wedding, move directly into their new home. Typically, if the plan was going to take more than a couple of years, the parents wouldn’t be interested in giving their blessing.
Lawd, how far we have gotten away from this — and I’m not convinced that we’ve elevated. Yet the main point I’m making is dating, and courting were never designed to be the same thing. Dating is about seeing if you want to transition into courting, so that you can either get engaged or go into something more serious and long-term. And what this means is no, men nor women should expect (and definitely not demand) “courting privileges” during the dating season. Meaning, why should someone be paying someone else’s bills while dating? Why should someone expect marital duties to be performed while merely dating? THEY SHOULDN’T. Both directions.
Until it’s been clearly and mutually articulated that both individuals want to do life together, as a couple, on a very serious and committed level, courting is not to transpire — only dating is. And that means that people need to remain in a state of simply enjoying someone’s company while collecting the data/intel that they need in order to decide if they should move forward with someone or…not.
Bottom line, dating and courting are not to be used interchangeably; their purpose and agendas are quite different.
No One Is OWED Anything
A couple of nights ago, while having dinner with my godchildren’s mother, one of the things that we discussed is how entitled my older goddaughter (who is officially a preteen now) is. An example is my telling her that if she found some sneakers for $85 before tax, I would get them for her birthday. When she went on to say that she only prefers Air Force 1s (this kid), I went on to tell her that she took the entire joy out of getting her anything because of her entitled attitude.
“She’s gonna be someone who guys are not going to be interested in dating if she keeps this up,” I said to her mother after she shared with me that after coming back from a camp that cost a pretty penny, just hours into being home, my goddaughter was whining about how boring her life is at home. Whew, chile.
Entitlement is unattractive. ENTITLEMENT IS UNATTRACTIVE. Why? Because the message it sends is that someone owes you what they have. Plus, there tends to be a total lack of graciousness if you happen to receive whatever you’re expecting — and no one who values themselves or their time wants to be around someone like that. And yet, here we are, watching the entitlement of so many people rise to a fever pitch in our culture, especially when it comes to dating.
And here’s the real trip — no, you are not entitled to what someone has just “because you are worth it” and the same thing goes for them when it comes to you. Owing someone is about being obligated or indebted, and that’s why the whole “a man should pay hundreds on a first date” mantra is ridiculous to me. What makes him obligated to do that for someone he barely knows? What have you done for him that makes him indebted to you on that level?
In a time in our culture where more narcissists are being created (and even cultivated) than ever, it’s important to keep in mind that people who are entitled are self-absorbed, have a puffed-up attitude, are typically quite difficult to get along with, do not reciprocate in relationships and suck at listening. Who wants to even attempt to build with someone like that?
You know, one time I spent, hell, more time than I should’ve, watching TikTok posts on dating standards. One woman (who I will spare by not linking her into all of this) had a list of about 20 things and started off her video by saying, “You know, I have been on many, many dates…”
Sometimes I wonder if people listen to themselves before they hit publish on their videos because if you’ve got a ton of first dates with not much else to show for it, you might want to revisit if all that you think you deserve (check out “Before You Talk About What You 'Deserve'...Do You Know What That Even Means?”) or are owed on a first date is actually working for you or…against you. Because while you’re calling them “standards” what they really might be is super unrealistic dating demands.
This brings me to my next point.
Standards and (Unrealistic) Demands Are Totally Different
When it comes to the topic of standards, I once heard someone define them as being a healthy set of boundaries (or limits), principles, values, morals, ethics, and habits that you choose to base your life on. That said, if there’s something else that social media has done (to our overall detriment), it’s provided a platform for people to loudly use words without really knowing the core essence of their meaning.
That said, an example of thinking that an unrealistic demand is somehow a dating standard is saying that you want a 6-6-6 man (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”) and yet, in your mind, he should text you several times a day or immediately answer every call. Ask any super ambitious man (or the woman who is with him), and they will tell you that they have to manage their time, almost down to the second, in order to meet their (oftentimes daily) goals. This means that testing him to see if he will be at your beck and call? That isn’t really about boundaries or values — c’mon…that’s either about a profound insecurity or it’s about being consumed with getting a shot of ego boosts on a daily basis.
And that’s what can jack a lot of people up when it comes to dating in these days and times too — both men and women. Yeah, I have this conversation with men as well. You want someone you’re dating to cook for you all of the time? What man needs that? What is ethical about it? And how does taking that kind of stance put you into the mindset of being grateful if you feel like she is required to do so? And what would make a woman want to marry you if you’re already acting that way?
So yeah, it’s definitely a good idea to set your own ego aside and ponder which of your dating standards are actual standards and which ones are basically ridiculous. And before you offer pushback by saying that if your standards are too high, “oh well,” let’s bring any angle about double standards as I close out.
Remember the Golden Rule. Always.
Something that oftentimes tickles me when I talk to singles about what they expect in a future partner is how so many of them have these long ass laundry lists about what they require, and yet, when I ask them if they have achieved or accomplished what’s on their list, suddenly they’re either deflecting or irritated. He’s gotta make six figures and have great credit when you make $30K (gross), and your credit score is barely scratching 550? She’s gotta have a banging body when you’ve got plenty of girth around the middle? Why are you out here thinking it’s so easy for someone to have or be what you desire…when you’re (general "you") not even those things yourself? Please stop.
That’s another ridiculous thing about transactional dating culture, for sure. Far too many folks are out here expecting what they absolutely are not — and yes, that is a double standard. Know what else it is? It’s hypocritical as all get out. Besides, someone who hits even 80 percent of your list, guess what? They are more than justified to expect you to be what you asked of them. And either that should be a humbling revelation or something that makes you want to revise your list or commit to doing some serious self-work before going out on a new string of dates.
Yeah, I can only imagine how much the quality of dating would shift, for the better, if people committed to implementing the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you — or, in this case, be what you require. Because when you genuinely and sincerely come from this frame of mind, it’s hard to be transactional because you are more focused on being realistic and holistically beneficial.
And that, my friends, should be the framework for dating.
Be real: is it yours?
If not…why not?
No one wants to be treated like nothing more than a basic transaction. So, let’s all lead by example out here in this dating (and social media) streets. Straight up.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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