

My husband and I have always been a practical pair.
In matters of the heart, practicality often comes up as the victor, even ahead of logic. What has always rang most true for us is what works best for us. We don't follow the law of the land, instead, we make our own. This year marked the tenth year anniversary since my husband and partner of 16 years said “I do."
Even then, he and I took the practical approach. While every bride-to-be is consumed with wedding planning details, racking up wish list items on gift registries, solidifying venues, choosing plate options for their guests of 25+ - he and I might of wanted some of that, but knew we didn't need any of it. We were the same couple who started living together as soon as a month into dating, just because it made the most sense with maximizing our income in New Orleans, where we grew up.
It was three years into our relationship when we revisited the conversation around what it would look like to build a life together. Although it included marriage, it also included home ownership.
We got really real with one another and knew we could not do both.
Neither one of us came from money. In fact, he was swimming in college debt, as was I. And when we visited a mortgage broker, I learned I was the victim of identity theft for eight years. My first lesson in credit was when I learned a relative burned mine down to a score of 345 out of 800.
Once we learned this information, all of our energy was focused on repairing my credit and any wedding plans were placed on the shelf. We were focused, and our end goal was home ownership. We decided owning a home made the most sense, especially not knowing the future of our young relationship. We decided the best plan of action would help both of us level up, and if our partnership fizzled, we'd at least walk away with more funds in our bank accounts.
That was always the plan for our relationship, to not lock one another in and to instead position both of us to end up better than we were when we found one another.
Introduction to Investing
After seven months of working with our realtor to purchase our dream fixer upper in our favorite New Orleans neighborhood, we closed and called the home ours. Two days later, we learned Hurricane Katrina was on the way, and we evacuated a day later, leaving our fully furnished apartment and our not yet inhabited first house.
A year later—11 years ago to date, in fact—he proposed when we returned to have our house gutted in New Orleans. It was the sweetest end to a stressful trip. A year after that, we eloped.
It seemed selfish and a bit financially reckless to host a grandiose party or to put our friends in a position to travel from wherever they evacuated and landed after Katrina to join us for a wedding. The thought of having people purchase dressy clothes and shoes, spend money on hair, makeup, travel, and gifts felt absurd. So we put the kibosh on that, ordered our first passports, and left for Negril, Jamaica.
To be fair, we decided not to invite anyone. As soon as that decision was made, I released the greatest sigh of relief. I purchased my non-traditional wedding dress from the Armani outlet store for $35. My childhood girlfriend gifted me with earrings. The husband purchased a white guayabera shirt and wore pants he already owned. We could wear all the items again and as many times as we wanted. And we skipped the purchase of shoes because a beach wedding was happening.
I also didn't want to make any decisions about the day. Guys typically don't have to decide anything. And after planning events in my career before, I just didn't want to have to be on duty for my special day. And I didn't have to. The resort had a 30-minute checklist we'd complete.
Playing the Long Game
I said it then and have said it several times since my wedding day, eloping was the best decision we made to walk into the next chapter of our relationship. Our two weeks in Negril totaled to $5,000. My paternal family sponsored our flights with points. The groom's family covered half the cost of our time in Jamaica and it was the only time we ever asked them for support.
It was the easiest and most sustainable decision to have a weddingmoon, instead of two separate and way more expensive events. As a practical pair, the husb and I always plan for the long game.
And here we are, a decade later, still making fiscally responsible decisions, growing stronger together, and we'll be moving into our fifth real estate investment in about three months.
Christine Moline is a New Orleans born, Austin-based productivity consultant and digital organizer with Dashboard Priorities. She explores and offers sustainable strategies to help others maximize their resources—such as time, energy and finances—to put themselves first.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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